Love Is…Loving Yourself | Better Together | TBN

Love Is…Loving Yourself | Better Together

Watch Love Is…Loving Yourself | Better Together
October 8, 2019
27:29

Do you find it easy to love God and others, but not yourself? We're talking about true self-love and value. | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Love Is…Loving Yourself | Better Together

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  • - Loving yourself is much deeper
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  • than scheduling a day at the spa.
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  • So how does the world's view
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  • of self-love differ from God's love?
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  • Come on, let's join the conversation.
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  • (upbeat instrumental music)
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  • (woman harmonizes)
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  • - For me, growing up I always had very low self-esteem.
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  • Like very low, and you would have thought
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  • that I would have had better self-esteem,
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  • with my parents being who they were
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  • and everything that we had.
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  • - Plus, you're just amazing.
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  • - Beautiful.
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  • - Thank you, but I was small.
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  • - Cheers, baby.
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  • - Yeah.
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  • - I'm still small.
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  • - I know, I was super small
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  • and I didn't have much of a shape.
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  • It was pointed out often.
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  • I really didn't know, I was raised more so
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  • in the fear of God, opposed to the love of God.
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  • I was already down on myself,
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  • so I really didn't have that connection with God.
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  • It was almost like, why would you make me this way?
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  • To get this kind of ridicule from people that I love?
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  • I did some foolish things trying to make myself feel better.
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  • I think I realized how to love myself
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  • when I realized how much God loved me.
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  • A few years ago, He really poured.
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  • I was in Greece with Chris Caine.
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  • - Yeah.
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  • - In 2014, and Havilah, she prophesied,
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  • and it was like she was in my bedroom.
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  • To hear everything that she said, it was like God
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  • just pouring out to let me know, oh no, baby, I love you.
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  • I raised your value before--.
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  • With everything that you did.
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  • 'Cause it's like, how does God love us and we are so broken?
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  • We are so all of these things?
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  • But God is love.
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  • We talked about love being an action.
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  • He does everything that He does for us,
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  • because He's showing us the action of love.
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  • I realized that Him knowing all of my ins and outs,
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  • no matter what, but He still set me apart.
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  • He still predestined my everything.
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  • He laid out my steps and He wanted me to be great,
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  • even though He know I would experience those struggles,
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  • He still raised my values
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  • when another human knowing my ins
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  • and outs would have devalued me.
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  • Once I realized the magnitude of that,
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  • I said, oh, I have to learn how to love myself.
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  • I went on a journey of, if God has placed this much value
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  • in me, I gotta be pretty awesome.
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  • - Yes, gosh, I love that!
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  • - So I went on my journey of self-love.
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  • From there I started with my kids at a young age
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  • to show them, oh no, God didn't make any mistakes.
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  • He's not surprised about anything that happens
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  • in your life, about who you are, what you experience.
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  • The journey of self-love has been amazing.
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  • I believe now it's so important for,
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  • especially the millennials and Generation Z,
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  • we've diminished value to a like or a follow.
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  • - Come on.
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  • - Right.
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  • - It's what we get the awareness of self
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  • from how many followers we have, or how many likes we have.
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  • So now we're doing things because we're lowering
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  • our own value, just to get other people.
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  • - You're living your life by poll,
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  • by people who don't know you.
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  • - [Britney] They don't know you.
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  • - They don't know you at all, and they get to dictate,
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  • or we allow them to dictate self-value.
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  • I'm like, oh goodness, can you imagine taking
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  • something that matters to you and handing it
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  • over to a group of rabid strangers?
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  • Which is always what Twitter feels like to me.
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  • Do you think social media, which is neither good nor bad,
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  • it's inanimate, but boy, it sure does seem
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  • to be used often times to tear people's idea
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  • of how special they are down.
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  • - It's crazy to me that people can find so much
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  • of their value on social media.
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  • Oh, this got this many likes, so this must be valuable.
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  • Well, this didn't get as many likes,
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  • so this is clearly not valuable.
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  • We are taking a poll from all these
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  • other people's opinions about what is valuable and not,
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  • when they are not the authority
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  • on what is valuable in our lives.
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  • We need to be careful of who we're giving the authority
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  • to judge us, authority to speak into our lives,
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  • authority to give us ratings, A+, B+.
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  • We have got to stop taking a poll from a bunch of people
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  • that are not qualified to identify us.
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  • Most of them don't even know you.
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  • Are you asking the people who know you
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  • these same questions that you're
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  • asking the masses on social media?
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  • Are you asking God, who made you and loves you
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  • more than anything, as much as you're asking people
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  • that live in another state, and has never even met you?
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  • The people that we're polling to find our value from,
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  • they are so not the correct source to find our value
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  • and our identity, and it's crazy, some of the things
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  • that are the most important are not the things
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  • that the mass media is going to like.
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  • - [Anne] No number can ever define your worth or your value.
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  • Whether it's a number on a scale.
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  • - That's right.
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  • - Whether it's the number of likes.
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  • We are to live for an audience of one.
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  • His love determines our value and our worth.
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  • - I've already been evaluated.
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  • You can't evaluate what's already been evaluated.
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  • It turns out that I'm worth a whole lot.
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  • Someone giving up their whole life.
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  • You can't add or take away from that.
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  • The enemy is so clever, but he is not original,
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  • because he is taking something that God originated.
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  • - He can only pervert, he cannot create.
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  • - He can't create, he can only pervert,
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  • and here we are we want people to have self-worth,
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  • we try to tell people, believe in yourself, love yourself,
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  • have self-worth, but then the enemy has perverted
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  • the self worth value, self-confidence in Christ,
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  • and who we are and made in His image,
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  • all that, and twisted that.
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  • - It comes back to you.
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  • Remember the old adage we grew up with;
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  • garbage in, garbage out.
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  • Whatever you're putting in, obviously that's going
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  • to be the productivity of what you speak, what you believe.
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  • I think it was a computer term, but I think of
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  • that with the verse of take captive every thought.
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  • Weight has been a big deal for me for the last,
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  • probably, 20 years, I've struggled with my weight.
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  • Sometimes I'll hear what I'm saying to myself
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  • and it is so unkind, it's so mean, it's so cruel,
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  • and I have to go, hang on.
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  • Now, do I need to be disciplined about getting up,
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  • about exercising, about watching what I put into my body,
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  • about not eating too much junk food, or processed?
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  • Of course, that's incumbent upon me.
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  • But, is it appropriate for me to go, you look so gross?
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  • No, so I have to take those thoughts,
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  • and it's almost like--.
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  • I had an old boss who said, if you will think
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  • of a cop with a convicted criminal
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  • and them taking the criminal and throwing him up
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  • against the police car and frisking them.
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  • If you'll do that with your thoughts,
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  • you will very intentionally frisk.
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  • - Oh my gosh, I love this.
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  • - Your thoughts.
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  • - Every single thought.
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  • - Because I'll go on.
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  • That's a train I can get on
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  • and take it for a long, long way.
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  • - I'm with you.
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  • - By the end of the day, then what has been really amazing,
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  • as you know, my little girl I adopted from Haiti,
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  • Missy has a stronger sense of self as a nine-year-old
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  • than I think I did as a 39-year-old.
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  • One time Missy heard me talking on the phone,
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  • and I went, oh, I'm in just such a fat season,
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  • and she went, mama, don't say fat about yourself!
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  • I'm like, oh my heaven's faith.
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  • My nine-year-old is taking me to town.
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  • - That means you did a good job.
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  • - But, when I hear on paper or basically amplified,
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  • some of what I'm saying to myself in my head,
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  • to me there is a discipline of going,
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  • for me to love myself, and you call me to it,
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  • it's not just a hallmark idea, you say,
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  • you love others as you love yourself.
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  • So it's incumbent upon me to actually find value
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  • in myself as Christ does, He died for me,
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  • then let me be disciplined
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  • about taking captive every thought.
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  • Missy's memorizing Psalm 139.
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  • To me, that is our identity.
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  • But as I'm teaching my kid, for her to love herself
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  • because Jesus thinks she's the bomb,
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  • I'm re-learning some of those things,
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  • the same things myself.
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  • - I think we can be our own worse enemy, our worse critic.
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  • It might be your own voice, and I know
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  • how hard it is to silence those voices.
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  • Sometimes you even, I think, in the call of God
  • 00:09:44.070 --> 00:09:48.030
  • on your life, that can be the loudest
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  • and the most hideous voice of all.
  • 00:09:51.050 --> 00:09:54.250
  • I struggle with that myself, and that's when God
  • 00:09:54.250 --> 00:09:58.220
  • surrounds you warmly with voices that aren't there
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  • to appease you, but there to build you up.
  • 00:10:08.070 --> 00:10:12.080
  • I am surrounded by beautiful women of God
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  • that speak into my life, and when I feel at my worst,
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  • I have two sitting right here that speak life
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  • into me every time, and remind me of my calling.
  • 00:10:23.110 --> 00:10:28.110
  • - He told us exactly who we are to Him.
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  • That we're far more than we believe.
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  • That we're a chosen generation.
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  • When we think about that, sometimes I believe
  • 00:10:38.090 --> 00:10:41.190
  • the church will put us more in condemnation,
  • 00:10:41.190 --> 00:10:45.000
  • and it makes us fall out of love with ourselves.
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  • It's like, God told us from the beginning,
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  • nothing can separate you from love,
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  • and you were chosen before you did--.
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  • I'm not surprised at what you've become,
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  • I knew what you would become, but I still chose you.
  • 00:11:02.140 --> 00:11:05.190
  • I still set you apart, I still said
  • 00:11:05.190 --> 00:11:07.270
  • that you're worth so much to me,
  • 00:11:07.270 --> 00:11:10.260
  • and I still died for you so that you can be free.
  • 00:11:10.260 --> 00:11:13.280
  • Someone asked me if you could love God
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  • and love others without loving yourself.
  • 00:11:19.210 --> 00:11:22.230
  • I'm like, absolutely not, because how you are
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  • with anything, is how you are with everything.
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  • Yourself is anything, if you can't love yourself,
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  • you can't possibly, you can't give
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  • what you don't give yourself.
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  • She was like, what about your kids?
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  • Some people don't really love themselves,
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  • and they do things for their kids.
  • 00:11:42.120 --> 00:11:44.150
  • They say, well, because I love my kids, I do this.
  • 00:11:44.150 --> 00:11:47.060
  • I said, well me, when I'm down on myself,
  • 00:11:47.060 --> 00:11:50.030
  • or when I feel just out of it, I'm not patient.
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  • - Everybody pays!
  • 00:11:53.260 --> 00:11:55.200
  • - Yes, I'm not kind with my children.
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  • Can we call it love, or is that obligation?
  • 00:11:59.040 --> 00:12:02.030
  • - I think there's even, and Anne I'm sure you
  • 00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:04.230
  • could speak to this, and Laurie, where it started,
  • 00:12:04.230 --> 00:12:08.010
  • I can't remember, but there was a theological heresy.
  • 00:12:08.010 --> 00:12:12.240
  • It sounded good, that crept into church thinking.
  • 00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:16.040
  • I wanna say it was back in the aesthetics that said,
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  • in order to maximize God, we have to minimize ourself.
  • 00:12:20.120 --> 00:12:23.240
  • It comes from we magnify Him when we make ourselves less.
  • 00:12:23.240 --> 00:12:28.220
  • That doesn't mean we think less of ourselves.
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  • It's we think of ourselves less.
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  • It's not beating ourselves up so as to praise God.
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  • It's you know what it's not about you.
  • 00:12:40.210 --> 00:12:42.220
  • Let's just own the fact that He thinks we're the bomb,
  • 00:12:42.220 --> 00:12:45.220
  • 'cause He sees us through the righteousness of Christ.
  • 00:12:45.220 --> 00:12:48.080
  • Thank you, Jesus, throughout my worst
  • 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:50.040
  • double Spanx day, you think I'm beautiful.
  • 00:12:50.040 --> 00:12:52.130
  • Okay, let me rest on the gospel,
  • 00:12:52.130 --> 00:12:55.050
  • now it's not about me, it's about you and God.
  • 00:12:55.050 --> 00:12:57.210
  • There's an ability not to go, oh I'm such a worm.
  • 00:12:57.210 --> 00:13:00.180
  • It's actually I'm a redeemed
  • 00:13:00.180 --> 00:13:02.250
  • royal priesthood bride of Christ.
  • 00:13:02.250 --> 00:13:05.090
  • Now, how can I bless you?
  • 00:13:05.090 --> 00:13:08.160
  • If we're operating from a place where we go,
  • 00:13:08.160 --> 00:13:10.220
  • I'm a worm, then your kids are gonna
  • 00:13:10.220 --> 00:13:12.290
  • at least pick up on that a little bit.
  • 00:13:12.290 --> 00:13:15.020
  • But it's not I'm so amazing,
  • 00:13:15.020 --> 00:13:17.110
  • you're lucky to have me as your mother.
  • 00:13:17.110 --> 00:13:19.020
  • (laughs)
  • 00:13:19.020 --> 00:13:20.140
  • Because then again, it's self-focused.
  • 00:13:20.140 --> 00:13:22.120
  • So it's an insecure self-focus, or it's an arrogant
  • 00:13:22.120 --> 00:13:24.160
  • self-focus, but we still tend to make it all about us.
  • 00:13:24.160 --> 00:13:27.270
  • But I think to go, just think of yourself less,
  • 00:13:27.270 --> 00:13:32.010
  • don't think less of yourself.
  • 00:13:32.010 --> 00:13:34.180
  • (soft instrumental music)
  • 00:13:34.180 --> 00:13:35.240
  • - We want you to join the conversation.
  • 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:37.260
  • - Connect with us on social media,
  • 00:13:37.260 --> 00:13:39.160
  • and let's get better together.
  • 00:13:39.160 --> 00:13:41.270
  • (soft instrumental music)
  • 00:13:41.270 --> 00:13:45.200
  • - How we talk to ourselves, I think, is so important.
  • 00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:48.120
  • I don't think it's about picking up the world's idea
  • 00:13:48.120 --> 00:13:50.250
  • of what is great, but it's about, am I in the word enough
  • 00:13:50.250 --> 00:13:54.260
  • to know what Jesus says about me?
  • 00:13:54.260 --> 00:13:57.060
  • - Which hasn't changed.
  • 00:13:57.060 --> 00:13:58.220
  • - Which hasn't changed, and is invariable and unwavering.
  • 00:13:58.220 --> 00:14:01.020
  • - Which is steadfast.
  • 00:14:01.020 --> 00:14:02.040
  • - No matter what I do.
  • 00:14:02.040 --> 00:14:03.250
  • It's not about what I accomplish,
  • 00:14:03.250 --> 00:14:05.020
  • and I'm not held to a standard of perfection,
  • 00:14:05.020 --> 00:14:06.260
  • but I'm held by His arms of Christ.
  • 00:14:06.260 --> 00:14:08.150
  • - That's right.
  • 00:14:08.150 --> 00:14:09.220
  • - Have I memorized my identity in Christ?
  • 00:14:09.220 --> 00:14:12.170
  • So no matter what the world says about me,
  • 00:14:12.170 --> 00:14:14.120
  • or even how I trash myself sometimes, I can go back.
  • 00:14:14.120 --> 00:14:17.280
  • Actually, I have it up on the wall in our bedroom
  • 00:14:17.280 --> 00:14:20.070
  • and over my desk, who I am in Christ, so I can remember.
  • 00:14:20.070 --> 00:14:23.180
  • I think that is real self-love, when I see myself
  • 00:14:23.180 --> 00:14:26.160
  • through the eyes of Jesus, just like you said, Laurie.
  • 00:14:26.160 --> 00:14:29.080
  • - Our long lost Canadian sister.
  • 00:14:29.080 --> 00:14:30.260
  • (laughs)
  • 00:14:30.260 --> 00:14:32.200
  • You live so far away!
  • 00:14:32.200 --> 00:14:33.220
  • I love you so much.
  • 00:14:34.170 --> 00:14:35.140
  • - I love you more.
  • 00:14:35.140 --> 00:14:36.210
  • - Self-love is the base of everything,
  • 00:14:36.210 --> 00:14:38.240
  • because we can't love others, we can't
  • 00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:42.020
  • not walk in offense without loving ourselves.
  • 00:14:43.130 --> 00:14:46.160
  • It's the base of everything,
  • 00:14:46.160 --> 00:14:48.150
  • to know what God thinks about us.
  • 00:14:48.150 --> 00:14:50.130
  • - There's this whole thought around, what is self-care?
  • 00:14:50.130 --> 00:14:53.110
  • (all exclaim)
  • 00:14:55.060 --> 00:14:57.210
  • It's nuanced and there's layers to it.
  • 00:14:59.200 --> 00:15:02.190
  • Part of it is can I love my future self
  • 00:15:02.190 --> 00:15:05.290
  • more than I love my present self?
  • 00:15:05.290 --> 00:15:07.200
  • I think lots of time, I do whatever's easiest
  • 00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:10.010
  • for my present self, as opposed to my future self.
  • 00:15:10.010 --> 00:15:12.130
  • My future self is gonna stand before Jesus.
  • 00:15:12.130 --> 00:15:15.150
  • So how do I love my future self enough
  • 00:15:15.150 --> 00:15:17.050
  • that I have spent time in His word.
  • 00:15:17.050 --> 00:15:19.050
  • - That is so powerful.
  • 00:15:19.050 --> 00:15:20.280
  • - [Anne] I am steeped in Jesus.
  • 00:15:20.280 --> 00:15:22.130
  • - That is powerful because if you
  • 00:15:22.130 --> 00:15:23.220
  • were just on the self-care right now.
  • 00:15:23.220 --> 00:15:25.070
  • - In self-care, then it's all about things, right?
  • 00:15:25.070 --> 00:15:26.030
  • So much self-care can look like self-gratification.
  • 00:15:27.160 --> 00:15:29.190
  • As opposed if I'm loving my future self,
  • 00:15:29.190 --> 00:15:31.110
  • then I am forming and shaping my thoughts
  • 00:15:31.110 --> 00:15:34.100
  • to bring me face to face with Jesus.
  • 00:15:34.100 --> 00:15:36.180
  • I really start to change my thinking around
  • 00:15:36.180 --> 00:15:39.090
  • self-care, as a lot of it is self discipline.
  • 00:15:39.090 --> 00:15:42.160
  • Sometimes self-care is not--.
  • 00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:45.290
  • I wanna say it's soaking in the bathtub, but you know what?
  • 00:15:45.290 --> 00:15:49.170
  • Sometimes it means I'm gonna go put my running shoes on,
  • 00:15:49.170 --> 00:15:52.100
  • and I'm gonna put Jesus on in my ears,
  • 00:15:52.100 --> 00:15:54.250
  • and I'm gonna actually listen to scripture
  • 00:15:54.250 --> 00:15:57.220
  • the same time I'm reading it on my phone,
  • 00:15:57.220 --> 00:15:59.130
  • as I go for a walk out through the woods.
  • 00:15:59.130 --> 00:16:01.150
  • I think we have to look at what does self-care
  • 00:16:02.200 --> 00:16:04.020
  • look like if we flip it to self discipline?
  • 00:16:04.020 --> 00:16:06.020
  • That's caring about my future self
  • 00:16:06.020 --> 00:16:07.110
  • that gonna be before the throne of Jesus,
  • 00:16:07.110 --> 00:16:09.160
  • as opposed to soul care, which is eating
  • 00:16:09.160 --> 00:16:11.200
  • a box of chocolates in the bathtub.
  • 00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:14.070
  • Flip it to self discipline, 'cause lots of times,
  • 00:16:14.070 --> 00:16:16.090
  • if I can be self disciplined.
  • 00:16:16.090 --> 00:16:17.260
  • - [Laurie] That is self-care.
  • 00:16:17.260 --> 00:16:19.120
  • - It is the ultimate self-care.
  • 00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:22.130
  • Which I think is, what we look at
  • 00:16:22.130 --> 00:16:25.160
  • throughout scripture, being self controlled
  • 00:16:25.160 --> 00:16:27.200
  • and self disciplined as a means of self-care.
  • 00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:30.110
  • - Anne mentioned how self-care is discipline,
  • 00:16:31.150 --> 00:16:34.240
  • and I could not agree more.
  • 00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:37.100
  • My screensaver is Hebrews 12:11, where it talks about
  • 00:16:37.100 --> 00:16:41.140
  • how no discipline for the moment brings joy.
  • 00:16:41.140 --> 00:16:44.250
  • Because sometimes it's hard.
  • 00:16:44.250 --> 00:16:46.210
  • It's hard to be disciplined, but in the long run
  • 00:16:46.210 --> 00:16:50.010
  • the fruit that it produces is absolutely amazing.
  • 00:16:50.010 --> 00:16:54.210
  • You need discipline if you want to
  • 00:16:54.210 --> 00:16:57.210
  • self-care, self-love and be great.
  • 00:16:57.210 --> 00:17:01.040
  • It's like delayed gratification.
  • 00:17:01.040 --> 00:17:03.040
  • If you want greatness, you have to be disciplined,
  • 00:17:04.170 --> 00:17:07.090
  • and sometimes suffer while you do it.
  • 00:17:07.090 --> 00:17:10.170
  • - I tend to be a do-er, and have gotten
  • 00:17:10.170 --> 00:17:14.000
  • a lot of gentle discipline from the Lord.
  • 00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:19.000
  • Because sometimes I do because my
  • 00:17:20.050 --> 00:17:21.270
  • worth has been attached to my work.
  • 00:17:21.270 --> 00:17:24.240
  • - [Anne] Accomplishment, yeah.
  • 00:17:24.240 --> 00:17:25.190
  • - My performance.
  • 00:17:25.190 --> 00:17:26.260
  • So I really have to learn to rest.
  • 00:17:26.260 --> 00:17:30.020
  • - Yes!
  • 00:17:30.020 --> 00:17:31.000
  • - I've been a slow learner.
  • 00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:31.280
  • So I'm just saying, talk about,
  • 00:17:31.280 --> 00:17:33.070
  • because that is not binary thinking.
  • 00:17:33.070 --> 00:17:34.260
  • You can be self disciplined being worked.
  • 00:17:34.260 --> 00:17:36.190
  • - [Anne] Oh, totally!
  • 00:17:36.190 --> 00:17:37.250
  • But there is a time for, I don't know if it's
  • 00:17:37.250 --> 00:17:40.030
  • a bath or a massage or whatever,
  • 00:17:40.030 --> 00:17:41.090
  • so would you talk about the healthy balance?
  • 00:17:41.090 --> 00:17:43.280
  • - Soaking in the bathtub with scripture
  • 00:17:43.280 --> 00:17:46.010
  • right there, or looking at worship.
  • 00:17:46.010 --> 00:17:47.200
  • I think it's, do we have rhythm's that allow for sabbatical?
  • 00:17:47.200 --> 00:17:52.100
  • That allow for your sabbath time where I'm just
  • 00:17:52.100 --> 00:17:54.200
  • in the presence of Jesus and I'm resting.
  • 00:17:54.200 --> 00:17:56.060
  • I don't have to perform, this is not a checking off at all.
  • 00:17:56.060 --> 00:18:00.130
  • I think it's those rhythms and they're
  • 00:18:00.130 --> 00:18:02.180
  • not rhythms that we get to on burn out.
  • 00:18:02.180 --> 00:18:05.240
  • They're regular rhythms of our life.
  • 00:18:05.240 --> 00:18:08.030
  • Actually, this sounds awkward,
  • 00:18:08.030 --> 00:18:11.030
  • but I actually make out a list during the day.
  • 00:18:11.030 --> 00:18:14.040
  • What have I done that is soul care during the day?
  • 00:18:14.040 --> 00:18:18.260
  • So that okay, I did go--.
  • 00:18:18.260 --> 00:18:20.100
  • 'Cause sometimes we can beat ourselves up.
  • 00:18:20.100 --> 00:18:22.160
  • - I can schedule it in.
  • 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:23.290
  • - I have to write down, to see the soul care as
  • 00:18:23.290 --> 00:18:28.110
  • I spent this much time sitting in the presence of Jesus.
  • 00:18:28.110 --> 00:18:32.080
  • I see the prayer time as soul care.
  • 00:18:32.080 --> 00:18:34.210
  • But I took those as regular rhythms in my life,
  • 00:18:34.210 --> 00:18:39.210
  • and see those as means of loving myself.
  • 00:18:40.250 --> 00:18:43.160
  • - I love the way Anne framed that because
  • 00:18:44.210 --> 00:18:48.040
  • I think sometimes the self-care talk we have
  • 00:18:48.040 --> 00:18:52.070
  • in current culture seems to be very narcicisstic.
  • 00:18:52.070 --> 00:18:55.150
  • It's well, I need 10 days at the spa.
  • 00:18:55.150 --> 00:18:59.010
  • Maybe, maybe not, that's not for me to say or not say.
  • 00:18:59.010 --> 00:19:02.250
  • But scripture talks more about leaning into Christ.
  • 00:19:02.250 --> 00:19:07.070
  • That our rest is not segregated from intimacy with God.
  • 00:19:07.070 --> 00:19:11.060
  • So if you need self-care, you need to be replenished,
  • 00:19:11.060 --> 00:19:15.140
  • the source is Jesus and sometimes I think it does take
  • 00:19:15.140 --> 00:19:19.140
  • absolute discipline to go, okay, instead
  • 00:19:19.140 --> 00:19:22.150
  • of reading People magazine to relax,
  • 00:19:22.150 --> 00:19:25.010
  • I'm actually gonna go to God's word,
  • 00:19:25.010 --> 00:19:27.060
  • and I'm gonna soak in the Psalms
  • 00:19:27.060 --> 00:19:28.290
  • to remind myself lyrics that He sings over my life.
  • 00:19:28.290 --> 00:19:33.130
  • I'm gonna spend time alone with God in prayer,
  • 00:19:33.130 --> 00:19:35.290
  • in quietness and supplication.
  • 00:19:35.290 --> 00:19:37.190
  • That's how I'm gonna center, I'm gonna go there first
  • 00:19:37.190 --> 00:19:41.160
  • before I go to a hot yoga workout.
  • 00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:44.140
  • I think physical rest is good.
  • 00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:46.020
  • I think exercise is good.
  • 00:19:46.020 --> 00:19:48.150
  • I think having a massage every now and then is great.
  • 00:19:48.150 --> 00:19:51.070
  • But if you do those things first,
  • 00:19:51.070 --> 00:19:54.050
  • before you go alone to the lover of your soul,
  • 00:19:54.050 --> 00:19:56.090
  • I don't think we're ever gonna
  • 00:19:56.090 --> 00:19:57.160
  • get the care that ourselves need.
  • 00:19:57.160 --> 00:19:59.130
  • - I wake up at 6:30 every single day
  • 00:20:00.170 --> 00:20:03.050
  • to sit in the presence of God.
  • 00:20:03.050 --> 00:20:05.190
  • - And I think that's self discipline,
  • 00:20:05.190 --> 00:20:07.210
  • but it's soul care at the same time.
  • 00:20:07.210 --> 00:20:09.180
  • - Yeah, it sets the tone for my day.
  • 00:20:09.180 --> 00:20:11.270
  • It's okay God, it's just me and you.
  • 00:20:11.270 --> 00:20:15.000
  • - When people say they do their quiet times at night,
  • 00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:17.100
  • I'm like, you are a better woman than me.
  • 00:20:17.100 --> 00:20:19.040
  • - [Hosanna] I don't see how people can do it.
  • 00:20:19.040 --> 00:20:21.170
  • - It sets the tone for my whole day.
  • 00:20:21.170 --> 00:20:23.020
  • - [Britney] It's sets the tone for my entire day.
  • 00:20:23.020 --> 00:20:25.050
  • - Absolutely.
  • 00:20:25.050 --> 00:20:26.200
  • - If I miss a day I'm not walking in love as I should.
  • 00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:29.200
  • (laughs)
  • 00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:32.000
  • I am shorter and yeah, it's just not the same.
  • 00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:35.200
  • - I'd love to hear, as my fellow millennial on set,
  • 00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:38.240
  • 'cause you have so much passion about social media,
  • 00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:41.100
  • and how to reach people and how to be a young woman
  • 00:20:41.100 --> 00:20:43.170
  • in the modern world, I'd love to hear what you think
  • 00:20:43.170 --> 00:20:45.150
  • about where's the line between
  • 00:20:45.150 --> 00:20:47.290
  • your self-worth and then self-promotion?
  • 00:20:47.290 --> 00:20:50.070
  • - Oh, so good.
  • 00:20:50.070 --> 00:20:51.260
  • - You have found your identity, but now
  • 00:20:51.260 --> 00:20:53.100
  • you're promoting it and declaring it.
  • 00:20:53.100 --> 00:20:54.290
  • Sometimes some people that have to exert
  • 00:20:54.290 --> 00:20:57.050
  • the most about who they are, what they're about,
  • 00:20:57.050 --> 00:20:59.100
  • sometimes are the most, inside, the most insecure.
  • 00:20:59.100 --> 00:21:02.170
  • - Absolutely.
  • 00:21:02.170 --> 00:21:03.130
  • I think once you are a hundred percent confident
  • 00:21:04.250 --> 00:21:08.140
  • in who you are in Christ, people see it.
  • 00:21:08.140 --> 00:21:12.020
  • You don't have to keep talking about,
  • 00:21:12.020 --> 00:21:15.000
  • oh, this is how I am with my husband.
  • 00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:17.050
  • It's different when you're trying to teach someone.
  • 00:21:18.180 --> 00:21:21.140
  • Okay, this is how we do this, this is how we do that.
  • 00:21:21.140 --> 00:21:25.220
  • So that they will have a blue print.
  • 00:21:25.220 --> 00:21:29.000
  • But I don't believe that you have to self promote.
  • 00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:32.290
  • - I think the sound is so much sweeter
  • 00:21:34.040 --> 00:21:35.240
  • when somebody else toots your horn.
  • 00:21:35.240 --> 00:21:38.050
  • If you're confident in Christ, the people you're
  • 00:21:38.050 --> 00:21:39.140
  • doing life with will say, let me tell you
  • 00:21:39.140 --> 00:21:42.260
  • where Britney has really helped me.
  • 00:21:42.260 --> 00:21:44.250
  • It becomes a testimony.
  • 00:21:44.250 --> 00:21:46.180
  • - We don't have to say, oh I'm blessed.
  • 00:21:46.180 --> 00:21:49.100
  • I do this, I do that.
  • 00:21:49.100 --> 00:21:51.220
  • We're just confident in it.
  • 00:21:51.220 --> 00:21:53.100
  • - [Anne] Sisters get to champion each other.
  • 00:21:53.100 --> 00:21:54.250
  • - That's part of what we're called to do.
  • 00:21:54.250 --> 00:21:56.210
  • - We're not rivals against each other,
  • 00:21:56.210 --> 00:21:58.210
  • we get to do this for each other.
  • 00:21:58.210 --> 00:22:00.230
  • - Amazing.
  • 00:22:00.230 --> 00:22:02.010
  • - I remember my friend, she went on a first date
  • 00:22:02.010 --> 00:22:03.140
  • and she said, the guy kept telling me
  • 00:22:03.140 --> 00:22:05.170
  • how good-looking people tell him he is.
  • 00:22:05.170 --> 00:22:07.150
  • - Oh, no!
  • 00:22:07.150 --> 00:22:08.220
  • - She goes, and I thought, man, if you
  • 00:22:08.220 --> 00:22:10.030
  • were really good-looking, wouldn't I know?
  • 00:22:10.030 --> 00:22:11.180
  • It's like, you shouldn't have to declare it.
  • 00:22:11.180 --> 00:22:14.060
  • If this was true, I wouldn't have to tell you,
  • 00:22:14.060 --> 00:22:15.220
  • I'm a really good person, I'm a really good person.
  • 00:22:15.220 --> 00:22:17.200
  • I don't have to tell my husband, I'm a really
  • 00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:18.260
  • good spouse, I'm really good spouse.
  • 00:22:18.260 --> 00:22:20.140
  • If I was, he would know, and if I was not, he would know.
  • 00:22:20.140 --> 00:22:22.090
  • I think it's one of those things,
  • 00:22:22.090 --> 00:22:23.230
  • this self worth, knowing who you really are in Jesus
  • 00:22:23.230 --> 00:22:27.070
  • so much so that you don't have to declare it,
  • 00:22:27.070 --> 00:22:29.140
  • promote it or shove it in other people's faces.
  • 00:22:29.140 --> 00:22:32.020
  • In a true sense of value,
  • 00:22:32.020 --> 00:22:33.100
  • where you don't need to self promote.
  • 00:22:33.100 --> 00:22:34.220
  • I think that's so powerful, what you said.
  • 00:22:34.220 --> 00:22:36.180
  • - That's because that's how the world is right now.
  • 00:22:36.180 --> 00:22:39.070
  • Everyone is making you feel like you have to self promote.
  • 00:22:39.070 --> 00:22:43.130
  • You have to be a certain way.
  • 00:22:43.130 --> 00:22:45.020
  • You have to look or have a certain way.
  • 00:22:45.020 --> 00:22:47.230
  • A lot of times when I post my kids,
  • 00:22:47.230 --> 00:22:49.280
  • like you have the perfect Resurrection
  • 00:22:49.280 --> 00:22:52.070
  • Sunday cute pictures, their families are perfect.
  • 00:22:52.070 --> 00:22:55.260
  • - Matchy matchy.
  • 00:22:55.260 --> 00:22:57.020
  • - My kids' pictures are looking.
  • 00:22:57.020 --> 00:22:58.270
  • (laughs)
  • 00:22:58.270 --> 00:23:00.260
  • I post those pictures because I'm like, this is real life.
  • 00:23:00.260 --> 00:23:05.040
  • - Real life.
  • 00:23:05.040 --> 00:23:06.100
  • - People see the greatness.
  • 00:23:06.100 --> 00:23:08.040
  • - Worth and self-love is not found on screens,
  • 00:23:08.040 --> 00:23:10.270
  • it's not seen in the mirror,
  • 00:23:10.270 --> 00:23:12.200
  • it's found in the pages of scripture.
  • 00:23:12.200 --> 00:23:14.050
  • When you're feeling insecure and you're feeling shakie,
  • 00:23:14.050 --> 00:23:17.250
  • I need to go ahead and open up
  • 00:23:17.250 --> 00:23:19.070
  • His word, and my word is there.
  • 00:23:19.070 --> 00:23:22.010
  • We're drawn back to the word over and over again.
  • 00:23:22.010 --> 00:23:23.150
  • - It's still practical, it's so great.
  • 00:23:23.150 --> 00:23:25.000
  • - I wanna echo what Anne just said, 'cause I think
  • 00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:27.250
  • for all of us, especially for millennials,
  • 00:23:27.250 --> 00:23:30.290
  • to go sometimes the kindest thing you can do to yourself,
  • 00:23:30.290 --> 00:23:35.140
  • if you're in a season of wondering if you really
  • 00:23:35.140 --> 00:23:38.260
  • are worth much, is for even if it's just a few hours,
  • 00:23:38.260 --> 00:23:42.290
  • set aside your phone and go to this truth.
  • 00:23:42.290 --> 00:23:47.020
  • Not that that's bad, but that is not God's word,
  • 00:23:47.020 --> 00:23:50.270
  • and it's not gonna affirm you.
  • 00:23:50.270 --> 00:23:52.110
  • You're gonna compare, compare leads to despair.
  • 00:23:52.110 --> 00:23:55.140
  • Set it aside for a minute and go to the Psalms.
  • 00:23:55.140 --> 00:23:59.030
  • Read about how--.
  • 00:23:59.030 --> 00:24:00.110
  • - Saturate.
  • 00:24:00.110 --> 00:24:01.170
  • - He says with one glance from your eyes,
  • 00:24:01.170 --> 00:24:03.060
  • you captured my heart.
  • 00:24:03.060 --> 00:24:05.210
  • I think for all of us, it would behoove us every
  • 00:24:07.030 --> 00:24:09.280
  • now and then, especially if we're in a season
  • 00:24:09.280 --> 00:24:12.020
  • where we just don't feel so worthy.
  • 00:24:12.020 --> 00:24:15.030
  • Set aside every voice and let His voice
  • 00:24:15.030 --> 00:24:18.260
  • be preemptive for at least a moment or two.
  • 00:24:18.260 --> 00:24:21.000
  • - That's powerful, and if we knew this word well,
  • 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:23.290
  • then we would know the difference when someone speaks
  • 00:24:23.290 --> 00:24:26.140
  • something to us, if that aligns with God says about us.
  • 00:24:26.140 --> 00:24:30.200
  • Maybe what that person said is true.
  • 00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:32.220
  • Is is true that I'm that way?
  • 00:24:32.220 --> 00:24:34.000
  • Is it true that that's who I am?
  • 00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:35.260
  • - Take it back, right?
  • 00:24:35.260 --> 00:24:37.030
  • - I can go back to the original source to see,
  • 00:24:37.030 --> 00:24:38.110
  • and you know the word of God before the battle.
  • 00:24:38.110 --> 00:24:40.240
  • You know the word of God before the lie.
  • 00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:42.070
  • So while you're still on social media,
  • 00:24:42.070 --> 00:24:44.090
  • if you wanna be on it still, know this more.
  • 00:24:44.090 --> 00:24:47.000
  • Know what God says about you more than
  • 00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:48.220
  • what those people are saying about you.
  • 00:24:48.220 --> 00:24:50.070
  • Know what He likes and does not like more
  • 00:24:50.070 --> 00:24:51.220
  • than what other people like and don't like.
  • 00:24:51.220 --> 00:24:53.130
  • Then you have a filter in which you see everyone else's
  • 00:24:53.130 --> 00:24:55.140
  • opinions because you're putting it against the word of God.
  • 00:24:55.140 --> 00:24:58.140
  • - In the world today, there are so many ideas
  • 00:24:59.190 --> 00:25:04.010
  • of who we are supposed to be,
  • 00:25:04.010 --> 00:25:06.020
  • and what self-love looks like.
  • 00:25:06.020 --> 00:25:08.280
  • We have a hard time really loving ourselves.
  • 00:25:08.280 --> 00:25:12.170
  • It's always something that we wish that we could change,
  • 00:25:12.170 --> 00:25:15.190
  • or something that we wish that we could fix.
  • 00:25:15.190 --> 00:25:18.240
  • We don't really feel fearfully and wonderfully made.
  • 00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:21.240
  • I'm just gonna pray with you now.
  • 00:25:22.280 --> 00:25:24.130
  • Father, I pray that you really open the heart
  • 00:25:24.130 --> 00:25:29.060
  • of every individual who is watching this.
  • 00:25:29.060 --> 00:25:32.120
  • That you'd wrap your arms around them,
  • 00:25:32.120 --> 00:25:34.280
  • and show them just how valuable they are.
  • 00:25:34.280 --> 00:25:37.280
  • That no matter what they see in media,
  • 00:25:37.280 --> 00:25:40.080
  • or how they feel they should look,
  • 00:25:40.080 --> 00:25:43.050
  • or feel they should be, that they will know
  • 00:25:43.050 --> 00:25:46.040
  • that they're perfect in your eyes,
  • 00:25:46.040 --> 00:25:48.120
  • and that you have graced them for every situation
  • 00:25:48.120 --> 00:25:53.110
  • that they will ever come in contact with.
  • 00:25:53.110 --> 00:25:56.110
  • Whether that's self image or the way they feel they think,
  • 00:25:56.110 --> 00:26:01.110
  • or how smart they are, that you add
  • 00:26:02.170 --> 00:26:05.120
  • your super to our natural, and we're amazing
  • 00:26:05.120 --> 00:26:08.100
  • because we have our identity in you.
  • 00:26:08.100 --> 00:26:11.230
  • Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray that you reassure
  • 00:26:11.230 --> 00:26:15.050
  • each and every last one of them,
  • 00:26:15.050 --> 00:26:17.230
  • and again they will walk boldly
  • 00:26:17.230 --> 00:26:20.030
  • and they will walk with their heads held high,
  • 00:26:20.030 --> 00:26:24.010
  • knowing that you have us, you have us covered.
  • 00:26:24.010 --> 00:26:27.270
  • We're complete, we're perfect, we're whole,
  • 00:26:27.270 --> 00:26:30.000
  • we're fearfully and wonderfully made.
  • 00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:32.070
  • We're set apart, we're a chosen generation,
  • 00:26:32.070 --> 00:26:35.090
  • because with you, nothing is impossible.
  • 00:26:35.090 --> 00:26:38.030
  • It's possible to love ourselves just the way you created us.
  • 00:26:38.030 --> 00:26:43.030
  • In the name of Jesus I pray, amen.
  • 00:26:44.060 --> 00:26:45.180
  • - [Laurie] You can call the number on your screen
  • 00:26:47.040 --> 00:26:48.190
  • right now to talk to a prayer partner.
  • 00:26:48.190 --> 00:26:50.160
  • We're here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
  • 00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:54.020
  • We love you, and most importantly, God loves you.
  • 00:26:54.020 --> 00:26:58.150
  • Y'all can watch Better Together episodes on-demand.
  • 00:26:58.150 --> 00:27:01.100
  • Go to bettertogether.tv to stream
  • 00:27:01.100 --> 00:27:03.240
  • all of our latest conversations.
  • 00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:06.020
  • (soft electronic music)
  • 00:27:06.020 --> 00:27:09.060
  • Here is what's coming up next on Better Together.
  • 00:27:09.060 --> 00:27:12.040
  • Talking about how she was coming back to life again,
  • 00:27:12.040 --> 00:27:15.210
  • and he said, doctor, he said,
  • 00:27:15.210 --> 00:27:18.030
  • what's it gonna feel like to die?
  • 00:27:18.030 --> 00:27:19.290
  • Watch Better Together weekdays
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  • and Tuesday nights, only on TBN.
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