Live Well, Grieve Well | TBN

Live Well, Grieve Well

Watch Live Well, Grieve Well
September 1, 2019
27:30

Live with Passion with Father Cedric

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Live Well, Grieve Well

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  • I want you to know that a new springtime
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  • is coming into your life.
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  • Stay tuned!
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  • (inspiring music)
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  • Hi, I'm Father Cedric Pisegna,
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  • the host of Live with Passion.
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  • I'm so glad you tuned into the program.
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  • I wanna share with you a scripture.
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  • This happened right after Lazarus died.
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  • And his sister Mary came to Jesus and saw Jesus,
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  • knelt at his feet, said to him,
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  • "Lord, if you had been here,
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  • "my brother would not have died."
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  • And Jesus saw her weeping,
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  • and the Jews that came with her weeping,
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  • and he was greatly disturbed in spirit, deeply moved,
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  • and he said, "Where have you laid Lazarus?"
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  • And they said to him, "Lord, come and see,"
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  • and Jesus began to weep.
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  • And the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"
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  • The gospel of the Lord, praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
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  • I wanna talk to you about something we're all familiar with.
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  • It was Ben Franklin that said,
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  • "There's two things in life we can be sure of.
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  • "One of 'em is death and the other is taxes."
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  • And that's what I wanna talk to you,
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  • not about taxes, but about death.
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  • Because our culture denies death.
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  • Our culture doesn't wanna look at it.
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  • But our church does.
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  • Our church is not a death-denying church,
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  • it's a death-defying church.
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  • And death is something that lies before us,
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  • and we all have to deal with it,
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  • so the title of this program is Live Well & Grieve Well.
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  • I want you to be prepared for your death,
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  • and I also want you to grieve well
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  • if you've lost somebody that you love.
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  • So I wanna tell you that death
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  • has been in the news recently,
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  • all kinds of disasters that have occurred,
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  • hurricanes in Puerto Rico and Florida,
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  • Houston, there's been mudslides in California,
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  • people have been dying in fires in California.
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  • There's been earthquakes where people have died,
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  • there's been terrorist shootings.
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  • People of course die of natural causes,
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  • but I wanna say, where is God in all this?
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  • That's what our cardinal was asked,
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  • because Hurricane Harvey came to Houston,
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  • in the Southeast Texas area,
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  • and the cardinal of our church there in Houston,
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  • Galveston, is a cardinal named Cardinal DiNardo.
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  • He had a meeting with the media.
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  • And all the media were spread out before them
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  • and one of the questions was,
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  • "Did God cause this hurricane?
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  • "Where is God in all this?"
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  • And Cardinal DiNardo answered in a very interesting way,
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  • because some 88 people had died in Hurricane Harvey,
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  • and Cardinal DiNardo said, "God didn't cause the hurricane,
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  • "but God redeems us through the hurricane."
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  • He talked about the first responders, the National Guard,
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  • people who came from Louisiana with boats to help,
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  • people that donated money from all around the country,
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  • and he said, "God was in those people
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  • "redeeming that situation," you see,
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  • God knows how to write straight with crooked lines.
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  • The tragedies, the trials, the natural disasters,
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  • the hurricanes, the deaths of our life, God redeems it.
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  • That's exactly what he did on the cross.
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  • Jesus, of course, crucified on Good Friday.
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  • God did not cause that!
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  • God redeemed it by raising Jesus from death.
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  • God knows how to write straight with crooked lines.
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  • In the same way in our life,
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  • when we have somebody that we love die,
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  • or we're goin' through a trial or a tragedy in our life,
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  • God knows how to write straight with our crooked lines,
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  • he knows how to redeem the mess!
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  • I was preaching in Farmington, New Mexico,
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  • I was giving a parish mission there.
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  • And it was right after the time of the Las Vegas shooting.
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  • If you remember, some man with a gun was up in a hotel,
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  • and during a concert, thousands beneath,
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  • he started shooting everybody.
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  • And there were thousands of people down there,
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  • and some 59 people died during that shooting!
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  • Well, one of the women who had been at that concert,
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  • and (chuckles) all the people that were down there
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  • were terrified because at any moment,
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  • they could've been shot and killed,
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  • well, one of the women that had been at that concert
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  • actually came to New Mexico,
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  • and she came to me to confession.
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  • And she said that she had not been going to church.
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  • And she had been far away from God.
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  • And she was at that shooting!
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  • And that shooting so terrified her
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  • and made her think about her own death,
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  • that she decided to come back to God.
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  • What was that, that was God writing straight
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  • with the crooked lines of her life,
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  • and it was a beautiful moment for her,
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  • a moment of conversion.
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  • Same thing happened after 9 1 1, if you remember,
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  • when the terrorists hit our World Trade Centers,
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  • and thousands of people died,
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  • well, people all around the country
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  • began to come back to church, because they realized,
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  • death all of a sudden was right in front of them.
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  • They realized that yes, one day they were gonna die too,
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  • and they wanted to get right with God.
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  • And so I wanna tell you
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  • that God knows how to bring resurrection
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  • out of the tragedies of our life.
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  • God does not cause death, he's not the author of death,
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  • he wants us to live, he wants us to live forever,
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  • but as you know, we're human, and we're all gonna die.
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  • It's a part of our human experience, but God is in the mess.
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  • God knows how to bring good things,
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  • God knows how to make all things work to good
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  • for those who love him.
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  • People that don't believe in God
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  • and don't think about heaven and the afterlife,
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  • they have no purpose, they have no meaning!
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  • They're just kinda living.
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  • If they get sick or if they get cancer,
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  • they don't understand what's going on.
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  • But we have a destination, we have a destiny.
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  • You know, something that's popular in today's society is,
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  • it's all about the journey, not about the destination.
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  • Well, I wanna flip that upside down to say,
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  • yeah, I get it, it's about the journey,
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  • but most of all, it is about the destination.
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  • It's about the journey and the destination.
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  • In fact, without a destination,
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  • your journey doesn't have any meaning!
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  • It has no significance, and your destination,
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  • of course, is coming before God when you die.
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  • And we must be ready for this.
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  • So I wanna tell you that we're all gonna die
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  • and we all know that, but the purpose of our life
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  • is to be sanctified, to be purified,
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  • to be ready for that death when it occurs.
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  • We're all familiar with death, and it's in the news.
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  • Just in the year 2017,
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  • that was last year as I'm taping this,
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  • Jim Nabors, Mary Tyler Moore,
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  • Glen Campbell, Jerry Lewis, Don Rickles,
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  • the list goes on and on, people that've passed.
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  • And perhaps you know somebody, perhaps you're grieving,
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  • and I'm gonna talk more about grieving
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  • as this program goes on,
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  • but we all are very familiar with it.
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  • We've all been to funerals.
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  • I went to a website, it's called the Worldometer,
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  • and in this website, interestingly,
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  • it shares about the people that are dying
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  • at this very moment around the world,
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  • and the people that are being born
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  • at this very moment around the world!
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  • And let me try to describe it to you this way.
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  • (clapping loudly)
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  • What is that?
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  • Those are the people at this very moment
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  • that are dying somewhere around the world,
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  • and then, (clapping loudly)
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  • those are the people that are being born
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  • somewhere around the world!
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  • So our population's growing, it's 7.6 billion,
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  • if you can believe that, right now in the world,
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  • and it's growing, but my point is,
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  • is that at this very moment,
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  • people are coming, and they're going.
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  • If we could only see it on a conveyor belt,
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  • we'd see (chuckles) all these different people
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  • being born, and all these people dying.
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  • So birth is something very natural,
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  • and I want you to understand
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  • that death is something very natural.
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  • One of the great saints in our Catholic Church
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  • said that, his name was Saint Francis of Assisi,
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  • he said, he called death "Sister Death,"
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  • and I love that,
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  • because death isn't something so much to be feared.
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  • I know it's mysterious, and you don't know exactly how
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  • or when or where or why, but it's Sister Death.
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  • It's something we're all gonna encounter,
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  • just like our birth, it's something very natural.
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  • You need to look at it that way and not be so afraid of it.
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  • Book of Hebrews calls the fear of death
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  • the primal fear that we all have,
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  • all the fears that we have in our life,
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  • all comes from that fear of death!
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  • And you can somehow lose that intensity of the fear of death
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  • as you come to faith in Christ.
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  • Believe in the resurrection,
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  • believe that something beautiful is gonna happen
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  • when you die.
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  • I read a book by a woman named Bronnie Ware.
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  • And she did some ministry among those in hospice,
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  • those in the sick and the dying nursing homes,
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  • and she talked about regret.
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  • Many people who are about to die have regrets in their life.
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  • And because of their regrets,
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  • they're really suffering in misery.
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  • And the number one regret,
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  • she listed in her book five regrets,
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  • the number one was wishing that they
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  • had lived their life differently.
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  • One woman even said, "Please share my message,
  • 00:09:30.060 --> 00:09:33.060
  • "so that others will learn by my mistakes."
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  • Well, I don't know about you,
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  • when I get to the end of my life,
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  • this is one of the reasons why I love to preach
  • 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:41.140
  • and to produce and to write books and to help people,
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  • but one of the reasons I'm doin' it,
  • 00:09:45.230 --> 00:09:47.190
  • one of my motivations is, when I get to the end of my life
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  • and I'm sitting there, 80, 90, 95 years old,
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  • however long God gives me, and I'm looking back at my life,
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  • I wanna smile, and I wanna say, "I lived with passion.
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  • "I fulfilled my destiny, I realized my potential,
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  • "and I became all that I could be."
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  • I have that saying as the foundation of my ministry,
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  • who you are is God's gift to you.
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  • But who you become is your gift to God.
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  • And that's exactly what I want for you,
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  • I want you to become, and that's why I produce
  • 00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:20.230
  • this program, Live with Passion.
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  • I want you to fulfill your destiny.
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  • I want you to become all that you can be.
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  • I remember, on Ash Wednesdays,
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  • people come forward, I anoint them with ashes,
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  • and I do something very interesting.
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  • The formula, the correct formula is,
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  • remember, oh man, remember, oh woman,
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  • that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.
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  • About a billion people will come forward
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  • on Ash Wednesday and hear those words.
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  • Why does the church remind us of our death
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  • on Ash Wednesday as we begin Lent?
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  • Because it can be a great motivator,
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  • calls us to accountability,
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  • calls us to responsibility,
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  • that knowing that we're gonna die,
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  • let's live our life to the full!
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  • That's why I call this program, this particular episode,
  • 00:11:05.130 --> 00:11:08.110
  • Live Well & Grieve Well,
  • 00:11:08.110 --> 00:11:11.180
  • and that's what I mean by Live with Passion,
  • 00:11:11.180 --> 00:11:13.080
  • that you live well, you fulfill your destiny.
  • 00:11:13.080 --> 00:11:16.170
  • Every once in a while, I'll take a walk
  • 00:11:16.170 --> 00:11:18.010
  • and I'll see a graveyard over there,
  • 00:11:18.010 --> 00:11:19.180
  • and I'll go walkin' over
  • 00:11:19.180 --> 00:11:20.230
  • and I'll kinda go through the tombstones,
  • 00:11:20.230 --> 00:11:22.100
  • and I'll see people who have lived 90 years,
  • 00:11:22.100 --> 00:11:24.050
  • and all of a sudden their life is over with,
  • 00:11:24.050 --> 00:11:26.070
  • and I'm thinkin' to myself, I wanna live the best I can,
  • 00:11:26.070 --> 00:11:29.130
  • because I know I'm gonna be there someday,
  • 00:11:29.130 --> 00:11:31.190
  • and I want my life to have significance
  • 00:11:31.190 --> 00:11:34.290
  • and meaning and purpose!
  • 00:11:34.290 --> 00:11:36.220
  • I wanna touch as many people as I can now,
  • 00:11:36.220 --> 00:11:39.000
  • while I have breath!
  • 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:41.020
  • And that's the way we gotta live, flat out,
  • 00:11:41.020 --> 00:11:43.110
  • with passion, with purpose, with meaning,
  • 00:11:43.110 --> 00:11:46.040
  • with significance, because one day,
  • 00:11:46.040 --> 00:11:48.120
  • we're gonna have a tombstone, too!
  • 00:11:48.120 --> 00:11:50.060
  • So, be the best that you can be.
  • 00:11:51.120 --> 00:11:54.050
  • (gentle music)
  • 00:11:54.050 --> 00:11:56.250
  • (gentle music)
  • 00:11:56.250 --> 00:11:59.120
  • Heard about a man named Alfred Nobel.
  • 00:12:00.190 --> 00:12:03.200
  • You've all heard of him before, let me explain it to you.
  • 00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:07.090
  • Alfred Nobel was a man who lived in Sweden,
  • 00:12:07.090 --> 00:12:11.000
  • and he discovered and created dynamite.
  • 00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:15.150
  • Dynamite that was used in the wars,
  • 00:12:15.150 --> 00:12:17.050
  • this is back in the 1800s,
  • 00:12:17.050 --> 00:12:19.030
  • killed a lot of people through his creation,
  • 00:12:19.030 --> 00:12:21.180
  • and he would also use dynamite
  • 00:12:21.180 --> 00:12:22.290
  • for building construction purposes.
  • 00:12:22.290 --> 00:12:25.200
  • Well, one day, his brother had died, Ludvig,
  • 00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:28.220
  • and he went to the newspaper, Alfred did,
  • 00:12:28.220 --> 00:12:31.020
  • and he wanted to read the obituary about his brother,
  • 00:12:31.020 --> 00:12:33.110
  • and (laughs) his mouth dropped wide open.
  • 00:12:33.110 --> 00:12:35.270
  • He couldn't believe it.
  • 00:12:35.270 --> 00:12:37.050
  • Mistakenly, although his brother had died,
  • 00:12:37.050 --> 00:12:40.010
  • they put his obituary in the newspaper.
  • 00:12:40.010 --> 00:12:42.260
  • And this is what he read.
  • 00:12:42.260 --> 00:12:44.120
  • In this French newspaper it said,
  • 00:12:45.160 --> 00:12:47.140
  • "The merchant of death has died."
  • 00:12:47.140 --> 00:12:51.100
  • The man who found a way to kill more people
  • 00:12:52.140 --> 00:12:55.200
  • faster than anyone who ever lived,
  • 00:12:55.200 --> 00:12:57.170
  • the creator of dynamite, has finally died.
  • 00:12:57.170 --> 00:13:00.260
  • And he read that, and it was like a ton of bricks hit him.
  • 00:13:00.260 --> 00:13:04.100
  • He read his own obituary, can you imagine?
  • 00:13:04.100 --> 00:13:07.140
  • And it changed his life!
  • 00:13:07.140 --> 00:13:09.190
  • The obituary about his own death changed his life.
  • 00:13:09.190 --> 00:13:13.030
  • He decided, instead of creating,
  • 00:13:13.030 --> 00:13:14.240
  • instead of pouring all that money, he made a lot of money,
  • 00:13:14.240 --> 00:13:18.100
  • into more dynamite, and creating ways to hurt people,
  • 00:13:18.100 --> 00:13:22.180
  • he decided to work for peace.
  • 00:13:22.180 --> 00:13:25.020
  • And he gave away a lot of his money
  • 00:13:25.020 --> 00:13:26.190
  • to help people to have peace,
  • 00:13:26.190 --> 00:13:29.010
  • and to bring peace among nations.
  • 00:13:29.010 --> 00:13:31.220
  • Now you've heard of him before, Alfred Nobel,
  • 00:13:31.220 --> 00:13:33.240
  • because the Nobel Peace Prize was named after him.
  • 00:13:33.240 --> 00:13:38.060
  • You see, while there's time, there's time to change.
  • 00:13:38.060 --> 00:13:43.060
  • We've all heard of that story,
  • 00:13:44.020 --> 00:13:45.000
  • you've probably seen it on TV,
  • 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:46.030
  • especially around Christmastime,
  • 00:13:46.030 --> 00:13:47.140
  • it's called Dickens's "A Christmas Carol,"
  • 00:13:47.140 --> 00:13:50.110
  • and there's Ebenezer Scrooge, he's real stingy,
  • 00:13:50.110 --> 00:13:53.170
  • he's real selfish, we've all seen that.
  • 00:13:53.170 --> 00:13:55.240
  • Kind of represents us, in some way, shape, or form.
  • 00:13:55.240 --> 00:13:59.010
  • And Ebenezer Scrooge is there
  • 00:13:59.010 --> 00:14:01.020
  • and he's just a miserly old man.
  • 00:14:01.020 --> 00:14:04.190
  • And he has this dream about these ghosts that come to him,
  • 00:14:04.190 --> 00:14:08.290
  • the Ghost of Christmas Past,
  • 00:14:08.290 --> 00:14:11.080
  • the Ghost of Christmas Present,
  • 00:14:11.080 --> 00:14:13.150
  • and the Ghost of Christmas Future.
  • 00:14:13.150 --> 00:14:15.160
  • And the Ghost of Christmas Future
  • 00:14:16.140 --> 00:14:17.290
  • shows him his own gravestone.
  • 00:14:17.290 --> 00:14:21.010
  • And when he sees it, he trembles,
  • 00:14:21.010 --> 00:14:22.250
  • because he realizes that he's not ready to die.
  • 00:14:22.250 --> 00:14:26.020
  • And then all of a sudden, he wakes up,
  • 00:14:26.020 --> 00:14:27.180
  • and it's Christmas morning.
  • 00:14:27.180 --> 00:14:29.170
  • And I mean, he is so happy. (laughs)
  • 00:14:29.170 --> 00:14:31.260
  • He's so happy that it was only a dream.
  • 00:14:31.260 --> 00:14:34.080
  • And I mean, he starts giving his money away,
  • 00:14:34.080 --> 00:14:36.090
  • and he's joyful, he's never been joyful before.
  • 00:14:36.090 --> 00:14:38.110
  • He changed his life!
  • 00:14:38.110 --> 00:14:40.060
  • His impending death, knowing that he was gonna die,
  • 00:14:40.060 --> 00:14:43.100
  • made him change his life.
  • 00:14:43.100 --> 00:14:45.180
  • And so I believe that that story is meant for all of us.
  • 00:14:45.180 --> 00:14:49.000
  • That while we have time, there's time to change.
  • 00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:52.200
  • Some of you have just flipped into this program,
  • 00:14:54.020 --> 00:14:57.130
  • and you're looking for something.
  • 00:14:57.130 --> 00:14:59.070
  • And I wanna tell you that I believe
  • 00:14:59.070 --> 00:15:00.220
  • that you came into this program providentially,
  • 00:15:00.220 --> 00:15:03.220
  • that God wants you here.
  • 00:15:03.220 --> 00:15:05.200
  • God has given you time, he's been patient with you.
  • 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:10.070
  • Over and over again, he's speaking to you.
  • 00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:14.090
  • Now is the time to make a move with God.
  • 00:15:14.090 --> 00:15:17.090
  • I realize that some of you have lost your spouse,
  • 00:15:17.090 --> 00:15:22.020
  • you've lost a child to death,
  • 00:15:22.020 --> 00:15:24.130
  • certainly parents to death, and it can be devastating.
  • 00:15:24.130 --> 00:15:28.180
  • So death is something that calls us to accountability,
  • 00:15:28.180 --> 00:15:32.160
  • but it also is something that we encounter
  • 00:15:32.160 --> 00:15:35.090
  • in our life that can cause a lot of misery,
  • 00:15:35.090 --> 00:15:37.270
  • because grieving is one of the hardest
  • 00:15:37.270 --> 00:15:40.130
  • things that you can go through.
  • 00:15:40.130 --> 00:15:42.220
  • Grieving is a tremendously difficult trial in our life.
  • 00:15:42.220 --> 00:15:47.220
  • I remember growing up, I had never lost anybody close to me.
  • 00:15:49.040 --> 00:15:52.170
  • Grandparents that I didn't really know, but finally,
  • 00:15:52.170 --> 00:15:56.140
  • my best friend and my biggest supporter,
  • 00:15:56.140 --> 00:16:00.070
  • my dad, passed away.
  • 00:16:00.070 --> 00:16:02.170
  • And he passed away in his sleep at age 76.
  • 00:16:02.170 --> 00:16:06.110
  • My name is Cedric Pisegna,
  • 00:16:06.110 --> 00:16:08.130
  • and I'm a junior, I bear his name.
  • 00:16:08.130 --> 00:16:10.150
  • We were such good friends!
  • 00:16:10.150 --> 00:16:12.210
  • He was so close to me, I could always trust him.
  • 00:16:12.210 --> 00:16:16.100
  • I had other friends in life,
  • 00:16:16.100 --> 00:16:17.160
  • and I had girlfriends in my life,
  • 00:16:17.160 --> 00:16:18.290
  • but I never had anybody like my dad,
  • 00:16:18.290 --> 00:16:21.100
  • and suddenly, in his sleep, he all of a sudden passes away!
  • 00:16:21.100 --> 00:16:26.100
  • From nowhere, I'm thrust into the grieving process.
  • 00:16:28.100 --> 00:16:32.180
  • And I mean, there's sadness and despair and hardship,
  • 00:16:32.180 --> 00:16:37.180
  • and I think the hardest thing was
  • 00:16:38.230 --> 00:16:40.090
  • that I realized that now for the rest of my life,
  • 00:16:40.090 --> 00:16:43.110
  • however long I'm gonna live,
  • 00:16:43.110 --> 00:16:44.170
  • I'm gonna be separated from my dad.
  • 00:16:44.170 --> 00:16:45.270
  • I'm not gonna be able to talk with him, see him,
  • 00:16:45.270 --> 00:16:48.110
  • have great times together with him, listen to his advice.
  • 00:16:48.110 --> 00:16:51.100
  • There's that separation,
  • 00:16:51.100 --> 00:16:52.280
  • and that's what grieving is all about,
  • 00:16:52.280 --> 00:16:55.010
  • that separation that's so hard,
  • 00:16:55.010 --> 00:16:56.180
  • and not only that, as a Catholic priest,
  • 00:16:56.180 --> 00:16:58.180
  • I was called to preside at his funeral!
  • 00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:02.220
  • So there's all my relatives in front of me,
  • 00:17:02.220 --> 00:17:05.110
  • and all of his friends,
  • 00:17:05.110 --> 00:17:07.030
  • and we had the funeral in Massachusetts.
  • 00:17:07.030 --> 00:17:09.010
  • We had another funeral for him in Florida.
  • 00:17:09.010 --> 00:17:11.270
  • It was one of the hardest moments of my life,
  • 00:17:11.270 --> 00:17:13.230
  • to stand before all these people and talk about my dad,
  • 00:17:13.230 --> 00:17:16.010
  • and not hard talking about my dad,
  • 00:17:16.010 --> 00:17:17.280
  • but hard burying my dad.
  • 00:17:17.280 --> 00:17:20.210
  • It was a very difficult moment.
  • 00:17:20.210 --> 00:17:23.000
  • But I remember something that God spoke to me
  • 00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:26.260
  • during that time that really helped me.
  • 00:17:26.260 --> 00:17:30.090
  • Because there's a verse in the Bible that says,
  • 00:17:30.090 --> 00:17:32.210
  • we don't grieve like the rest, without hope.
  • 00:17:32.210 --> 00:17:36.160
  • That comes from First Thessalonians chapter 4,
  • 00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:39.090
  • verse 13, I love that, I want you to get this.
  • 00:17:39.090 --> 00:17:41.290
  • Those of you who are grieving, goin' through a hard time,
  • 00:17:41.290 --> 00:17:45.270
  • you've lost a spouse or a husband, a wife, a child,
  • 00:17:45.270 --> 00:17:50.040
  • a best friend, family member, parent, whatever,
  • 00:17:50.040 --> 00:17:54.240
  • we don't grieve like the rest, who are the rest?
  • 00:17:54.240 --> 00:17:58.160
  • Unbelievers.
  • 00:17:58.160 --> 00:18:00.040
  • Rather, we grieve with hope.
  • 00:18:00.040 --> 00:18:04.040
  • And I need to tell you that the Bible
  • 00:18:04.040 --> 00:18:05.230
  • all over the place tells us that we have
  • 00:18:05.230 --> 00:18:07.200
  • a living hope of a future with God,
  • 00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:11.070
  • and I call heaven the great reunion.
  • 00:18:11.070 --> 00:18:15.010
  • And what God spoke to me was this, as I was grieving.
  • 00:18:15.010 --> 00:18:17.250
  • I used to live in Sacramento, Sacramento, California,
  • 00:18:19.060 --> 00:18:23.010
  • and my parents lived in Florida.
  • 00:18:23.010 --> 00:18:25.040
  • So I would see them and then leave, go across the country,
  • 00:18:25.040 --> 00:18:30.040
  • do ministry and writing and producing and different things,
  • 00:18:31.160 --> 00:18:33.290
  • and I wouldn't see my parents for about
  • 00:18:33.290 --> 00:18:36.040
  • sometimes five or six months!
  • 00:18:36.040 --> 00:18:38.030
  • That's a long time not to see somebody that you love.
  • 00:18:38.030 --> 00:18:41.090
  • Finally I get to Florida and I walk in the door,
  • 00:18:41.090 --> 00:18:44.270
  • and hug my mom and dad,
  • 00:18:44.270 --> 00:18:47.000
  • and it was just like no time had passed.
  • 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:50.290
  • Six months had gone by, and all of a sudden,
  • 00:18:50.290 --> 00:18:53.010
  • we just picked up right where we left off.
  • 00:18:53.010 --> 00:18:55.040
  • And that's what God revealed to me about grieving.
  • 00:18:55.040 --> 00:18:58.050
  • He said, "Cedric, I know that you're goin' through
  • 00:18:58.050 --> 00:18:59.250
  • "a hard time 'cause you lost your dad,
  • 00:18:59.250 --> 00:19:01.200
  • "but one day in heaven, the great reunion,
  • 00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:06.010
  • "it's gonna be just like no time had passed.
  • 00:19:06.010 --> 00:19:09.080
  • "You're gonna pick up right where you left off."
  • 00:19:09.080 --> 00:19:11.210
  • Some of you have lost your spouse, you've lost a child,
  • 00:19:11.210 --> 00:19:14.280
  • and I know it's hard because the separation,
  • 00:19:14.280 --> 00:19:17.140
  • but I wanna tell ya, the separation is temporary.
  • 00:19:17.140 --> 00:19:21.030
  • It's not gonna last forever.
  • 00:19:21.030 --> 00:19:22.210
  • There is a great reunion coming,
  • 00:19:22.210 --> 00:19:24.240
  • and when that reunion comes,
  • 00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:26.010
  • it's gonna be just like no time had passed!
  • 00:19:26.010 --> 00:19:30.040
  • And you're gonna pick up right where you left off,
  • 00:19:30.040 --> 00:19:32.220
  • and that should cause you joy.
  • 00:19:32.220 --> 00:19:34.040
  • We don't grieve like the rest, without hope!
  • 00:19:34.040 --> 00:19:36.210
  • We have a great hope, so take courage,
  • 00:19:37.280 --> 00:19:41.210
  • be strong, know that something beautiful is coming.
  • 00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:46.170
  • Some time after that, I lost my mom.
  • 00:19:48.110 --> 00:19:50.280
  • My mom lived to be 90 years old.
  • 00:19:50.280 --> 00:19:53.290
  • Finally, she died of heart trouble and a stroke.
  • 00:19:53.290 --> 00:19:56.260
  • I was with her as she passed away, God gave me that grace,
  • 00:19:56.260 --> 00:20:00.210
  • and I realized that as hard as it was to lose my mom,
  • 00:20:00.210 --> 00:20:04.080
  • 'cause I loved her too, and she was one of my best friends,
  • 00:20:04.080 --> 00:20:07.120
  • I loved my parents and they were so good to me,
  • 00:20:07.120 --> 00:20:10.070
  • as hard as it was to lose my mom,
  • 00:20:10.070 --> 00:20:12.030
  • I tried to focus on the positive.
  • 00:20:12.030 --> 00:20:14.170
  • And if you're grieving, focus on the positive.
  • 00:20:14.170 --> 00:20:17.120
  • Number one, when I lost my dad,
  • 00:20:17.120 --> 00:20:19.020
  • he died quickly in his sleep, he didn't suffer!
  • 00:20:19.020 --> 00:20:23.020
  • My mom did suffer, but she died at age 90!
  • 00:20:23.020 --> 00:20:27.170
  • So the positive thing for her was, it was her time.
  • 00:20:27.170 --> 00:20:31.190
  • So you look for something positive in the whole situation.
  • 00:20:31.190 --> 00:20:34.170
  • For my dad, he died quickly, for my mom, it was her time.
  • 00:20:34.170 --> 00:20:38.090
  • I don't understand why some people die early.
  • 00:20:38.090 --> 00:20:42.110
  • Like Father Jim Willig, for example,
  • 00:20:42.110 --> 00:20:44.030
  • I shared with what happened to him when he got renal cancer
  • 00:20:44.030 --> 00:20:47.030
  • and died at age 40 as a Catholic priest.
  • 00:20:47.030 --> 00:20:49.200
  • I don't understand that.
  • 00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:51.100
  • But I do understand that we're all in God's hands,
  • 00:20:51.100 --> 00:20:53.260
  • people of faith, that we have a living hope,
  • 00:20:53.260 --> 00:20:57.140
  • and that God writes straight with crooked lines.
  • 00:20:57.140 --> 00:21:00.150
  • But I know this, if you focus on the positive,
  • 00:21:00.150 --> 00:21:03.060
  • God'll bring something good out of it.
  • 00:21:03.060 --> 00:21:05.230
  • So let's talk a little bit more
  • 00:21:05.230 --> 00:21:07.010
  • about grieving in the time that I have left.
  • 00:21:07.010 --> 00:21:09.210
  • I wanted to share with you a book about grieving,
  • 00:21:09.210 --> 00:21:12.190
  • and one of the experts on this
  • 00:21:12.190 --> 00:21:14.080
  • is a woman named Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.
  • 00:21:14.080 --> 00:21:17.160
  • She wrote a book called "On Death and Dying,"
  • 00:21:17.160 --> 00:21:20.150
  • and "On Grieving," and in these books,
  • 00:21:20.150 --> 00:21:24.030
  • she talks about the stages that we have, of grieving.
  • 00:21:24.030 --> 00:21:27.130
  • And I don't know if you know this,
  • 00:21:27.130 --> 00:21:28.270
  • but when you go into the grief process, there are stages.
  • 00:21:28.270 --> 00:21:33.000
  • And she listed these stages in her book
  • 00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:35.000
  • "On Death and Dying," and "On Grief and Grieving,"
  • 00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:37.250
  • and the stages are like this, denial,
  • 00:21:37.250 --> 00:21:41.210
  • anger, bargaining, depression,
  • 00:21:42.200 --> 00:21:47.000
  • and finally, acceptance.
  • 00:21:47.260 --> 00:21:50.010
  • So there are many different stages of grieving,
  • 00:21:50.010 --> 00:21:52.280
  • and when somebody tells me, "Father, I just lost a spouse,"
  • 00:21:52.280 --> 00:21:56.120
  • or, "I just lost a child," I always look at them
  • 00:21:56.120 --> 00:21:58.090
  • and I say, "I understand, you know, I've lost my parents,
  • 00:21:58.090 --> 00:22:02.240
  • "and it hurt me deeply," and then I look at them
  • 00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:05.160
  • and I say, "Grieve well," and what do I mean by that,
  • 00:22:05.160 --> 00:22:08.280
  • when I say "grieve well"?
  • 00:22:08.280 --> 00:22:11.010
  • What I mean is that, when you're going
  • 00:22:11.010 --> 00:22:13.000
  • through these stages of grieving,
  • 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:16.150
  • I'm praying that you won't get stuck in anger,
  • 00:22:16.150 --> 00:22:20.210
  • you won't get stuck in denial,
  • 00:22:20.210 --> 00:22:23.070
  • you won't get stuck in sadness or bargaining,
  • 00:22:23.070 --> 00:22:26.100
  • but you'll move through the stages
  • 00:22:26.100 --> 00:22:28.210
  • into the stage of acceptance, and you can do that.
  • 00:22:28.210 --> 00:22:32.180
  • So if you've lost somebody that you love,
  • 00:22:32.180 --> 00:22:34.260
  • I wanna tell you, grieve well.
  • 00:22:34.260 --> 00:22:37.030
  • You don't need to stay stuck.
  • 00:22:37.030 --> 00:22:38.140
  • So let me talk a little bit more about grieving.
  • 00:22:38.140 --> 00:22:40.110
  • First of all, when you're grieving,
  • 00:22:40.110 --> 00:22:43.150
  • you are gonna be bombarded by emotions. (chuckles)
  • 00:22:43.150 --> 00:22:46.280
  • I call it a kaleidoscope of emotions, anger,
  • 00:22:46.280 --> 00:22:50.070
  • depression, despair, sadness, loneliness,
  • 00:22:50.070 --> 00:22:53.080
  • hurt, lack of energy, you have trouble concentrating.
  • 00:22:53.080 --> 00:22:58.080
  • And so these emotions are gonna come.
  • 00:22:59.110 --> 00:23:01.050
  • Don't feel like something's wrong with you, let 'em come!
  • 00:23:01.050 --> 00:23:04.010
  • Just accept it, don't let anybody tell you
  • 00:23:05.060 --> 00:23:07.270
  • what you should feel, you feel what you feel!
  • 00:23:07.270 --> 00:23:10.250
  • And it's okay, you're human.
  • 00:23:10.250 --> 00:23:13.040
  • So then I wanna tell you that some days
  • 00:23:13.040 --> 00:23:15.160
  • are gonna be better than others.
  • 00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:17.090
  • Some days, you're gonna wake up
  • 00:23:17.090 --> 00:23:18.140
  • and it's just gonna overwhelm you,
  • 00:23:18.140 --> 00:23:19.250
  • other days, you're gonna be stronger.
  • 00:23:19.250 --> 00:23:21.270
  • But I can tell you this, I discovered this
  • 00:23:21.270 --> 00:23:24.010
  • with grieving my mom and dad, time heals.
  • 00:23:24.010 --> 00:23:28.070
  • In time, the emotions will be less intense,
  • 00:23:28.070 --> 00:23:32.220
  • and you're gonna be able to move through it.
  • 00:23:32.220 --> 00:23:34.260
  • And then I wanted to share with you
  • 00:23:34.260 --> 00:23:36.110
  • that grieving is a season.
  • 00:23:36.110 --> 00:23:38.210
  • I grew up in Massachusetts, and in Massachusetts,
  • 00:23:38.210 --> 00:23:42.140
  • we would have harsh winters, very cold,
  • 00:23:42.140 --> 00:23:45.170
  • but then, spring came, new life.
  • 00:23:45.170 --> 00:23:49.270
  • Same way with grieving, there's gonna be a harshness,
  • 00:23:49.270 --> 00:23:53.080
  • a hardness, trials, sadness,
  • 00:23:53.080 --> 00:23:57.080
  • but then, in Christ, with hope, spring will blossom.
  • 00:23:57.080 --> 00:24:02.100
  • So realize, it's just a season,
  • 00:24:03.060 --> 00:24:04.290
  • you're gonna move through it, grieve well.
  • 00:24:04.290 --> 00:24:07.160
  • Don't get stuck in any of the stages.
  • 00:24:07.160 --> 00:24:10.060
  • And then I wanted to share with you that I met a woman,
  • 00:24:10.060 --> 00:24:13.150
  • a friend of mine lost her husband a couple years ago,
  • 00:24:13.150 --> 00:24:15.270
  • devastated her, they were so in love.
  • 00:24:15.270 --> 00:24:18.090
  • Good Catholic family, and he died at age 61.
  • 00:24:18.090 --> 00:24:22.280
  • Well, what she did is, she's grieving,
  • 00:24:22.280 --> 00:24:25.060
  • but she's not staying stuck.
  • 00:24:25.060 --> 00:24:26.260
  • She got involved with grief groups.
  • 00:24:26.260 --> 00:24:29.230
  • She leads a grief group, and she said,
  • 00:24:29.230 --> 00:24:32.090
  • "I wanna use my pain to help other people,"
  • 00:24:32.090 --> 00:24:34.240
  • and I think that's so beautiful.
  • 00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:36.120
  • Nobody can move you through grief except yourself.
  • 00:24:36.120 --> 00:24:40.230
  • You need to make the decision to move forward
  • 00:24:40.230 --> 00:24:43.150
  • and be all that you can be.
  • 00:24:43.150 --> 00:24:44.290
  • So, let me wrap this up and say we're all gonna die.
  • 00:24:44.290 --> 00:24:47.260
  • Life, death, it's all part of our experience.
  • 00:24:49.010 --> 00:24:52.050
  • We must be ready, and if you're grieving
  • 00:24:52.050 --> 00:24:54.280
  • somebody that you lost, I want you to know
  • 00:24:54.280 --> 00:24:56.210
  • that we don't grieve as the rest of the world,
  • 00:24:56.210 --> 00:24:59.080
  • without hope, we have a living hope.
  • 00:24:59.080 --> 00:25:02.070
  • So I want you to live well, to live with passion,
  • 00:25:02.070 --> 00:25:05.250
  • and I want you to grieve well,
  • 00:25:05.250 --> 00:25:07.110
  • and move through the stages to springtime.
  • 00:25:07.110 --> 00:25:10.060
  • Don't just live, live with passion.
  • 00:25:10.060 --> 00:25:13.060
  • (gentle music)
  • 00:25:13.060 --> 00:25:15.240
  • I hope that you will live well and grieve well.
  • 00:25:17.250 --> 00:25:20.290
  • If you're going through grieving right now,
  • 00:25:20.290 --> 00:25:23.010
  • move through those stages, God will help you.
  • 00:25:23.010 --> 00:25:25.270
  • Got a letter from a man and he said,
  • 00:25:25.270 --> 00:25:28.050
  • "Been active Catholic all my life,
  • 00:25:28.050 --> 00:25:29.200
  • "never experienced such a powerful
  • 00:25:29.200 --> 00:25:31.070
  • "presentation on the word of God
  • 00:25:31.070 --> 00:25:33.040
  • "as you have delivered it, Father Cedric.
  • 00:25:33.040 --> 00:25:35.090
  • "I believe that now I can have a personal
  • 00:25:35.090 --> 00:25:37.140
  • "relationship with Jesus Christ,
  • 00:25:37.140 --> 00:25:39.280
  • "and I wanna thank you for your boldness
  • 00:25:39.280 --> 00:25:41.190
  • "and clarity on God's word, and I have enclosed a donation."
  • 00:25:41.190 --> 00:25:44.290
  • I thank this man, and that's exactly
  • 00:25:44.290 --> 00:25:46.140
  • what I'm trying to do with Live with Passion.
  • 00:25:46.140 --> 00:25:48.160
  • I want you to live well,
  • 00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:50.000
  • and living well means by giving your life to Christ,
  • 00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:52.050
  • developing a relationship with him,
  • 00:25:52.050 --> 00:25:54.150
  • and I want you to grieve well,
  • 00:25:54.150 --> 00:25:55.220
  • for those of you who are grieving.
  • 00:25:55.220 --> 00:25:57.050
  • I wrote a book called "Challenges Make Champions."
  • 00:25:57.050 --> 00:26:00.160
  • And I'll discuss grieving in that book.
  • 00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:02.190
  • It'll help you to move through the stages.
  • 00:26:02.190 --> 00:26:05.030
  • Any time you buy one of my resources
  • 00:26:05.030 --> 00:26:07.160
  • or make a donation to my ministry,
  • 00:26:07.160 --> 00:26:09.160
  • you're supporting my television programs
  • 00:26:09.160 --> 00:26:11.130
  • to be broadcast all around the world.
  • 00:26:11.130 --> 00:26:13.140
  • Thank you, thank you, thank you, in advance.
  • 00:26:13.140 --> 00:26:15.240
  • Don't just live, Live with Passion.
  • 00:26:15.240 --> 00:26:18.200
  • - [Narrator] Don't just live, live passionately.
  • 00:26:18.200 --> 00:26:21.070
  • Jesus came to bring us abundant life,
  • 00:26:21.070 --> 00:26:23.190
  • a life filled with joy, hope, and purpose.
  • 00:26:23.190 --> 00:26:26.100
  • For over a decade, Father Cedric Pisegna
  • 00:26:26.100 --> 00:26:28.200
  • has been sharing the life-changing message of hope
  • 00:26:28.200 --> 00:26:31.010
  • with people around the world.
  • 00:26:31.010 --> 00:26:32.170
  • As a priest with a vow of poverty,
  • 00:26:32.170 --> 00:26:34.150
  • Father Cedric's programs and resources are created
  • 00:26:34.150 --> 00:26:37.040
  • with one purpose in mind, to change lives.
  • 00:26:37.040 --> 00:26:39.200
  • Would you consider calling and giving today?
  • 00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:41.290
  • It's only because of generous people like you who can give,
  • 00:26:41.290 --> 00:26:45.030
  • we are able to reach multitudes every day.
  • 00:26:45.030 --> 00:26:48.020
  • We hear life-changing testimonies
  • 00:26:48.020 --> 00:26:49.250
  • from people who watch us on television.
  • 00:26:49.250 --> 00:26:51.160
  • As always, we treasure the support of our partners.
  • 00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:54.220
  • As a priest with a vow of poverty,
  • 00:26:54.220 --> 00:26:56.190
  • you can know that 100% of your donation
  • 00:26:56.190 --> 00:26:59.040
  • will go directly toward producing
  • 00:26:59.040 --> 00:27:01.010
  • and airing Live with Passion.
  • 00:27:01.010 --> 00:27:02.250
  • To partner with us, call 844-FATHER-C.
  • 00:27:02.250 --> 00:27:05.280
  • That's 844-328-4372,
  • 00:27:05.280 --> 00:27:09.040
  • or go to fathercedric.org,
  • 00:27:09.040 --> 00:27:11.070
  • write us at Father Cedric Ministries,
  • 00:27:11.070 --> 00:27:13.110
  • 430 Bunker Hill Road, Houston, Texas,
  • 00:27:13.110 --> 00:27:15.270
  • 77024, thank you.
  • 00:27:15.270 --> 00:27:18.220
  • (gentle music)
  • 00:27:18.220 --> 00:27:21.100