Rules of Communication in Marriage Part 1 | TBN

Rules of Communication in Marriage Part 1

Watch Rules of Communication in Marriage  Part 1
March 1, 2017
28:29

Living by Faith with Mike & DeeDee Freeman

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Rules of Communication in Marriage Part 1

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  • a conversation or discussion, and then come to some kind
  • 00:00:01.190 --> 00:00:04.000
  • of conclusion, together.
  • 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:05.190
  • - Big one for me because I thought I said what I said,
  • 00:00:05.190 --> 00:00:08.240
  • and then what I said was how it is done,
  • 00:00:08.240 --> 00:00:11.070
  • and then you know, all of that--
  • 00:00:11.070 --> 00:00:12.200
  • - End of discussion.
  • 00:00:12.200 --> 00:00:14.050
  • - End of discussion, and I had to relearn even if I
  • 00:00:14.050 --> 00:00:18.030
  • was right, in that once we got there,
  • 00:00:18.030 --> 00:00:21.020
  • I had to find, carve a whole new path to communicate.
  • 00:00:21.020 --> 00:00:21.060
  • I had to find, carve a whole new path to communicate.
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  • And it's been the best thing that's ever happened to me.
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  • Today, on Living by Faith...
  • 00:01:00.050 --> 00:01:01.030
  • occurred yet, that we're dealing with two adults
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  • who've been parents for the same time.
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  • With the same experiences.
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  • I gotta give this to you though.
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  • We sometimes do things a little bit differently.
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  • And you know what?
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  • That's fine.
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  • - [Mike] Absolutely.
  • 00:01:20.240 --> 00:01:22.020
  • - It's okay, there's no rule book or script
  • 00:01:22.020 --> 00:01:25.070
  • that says how things have to be done exact,
  • 00:01:25.070 --> 00:01:28.220
  • that they have to be done the exact same way.
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  • (talking over each other)
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  • - [Mike] I want her to do it?
  • 00:01:34.040 --> 00:01:35.030
  • - What's that?
  • 00:01:35.030 --> 00:01:36.100
  • - DeeDee doesn't have to do it the way I want
  • 00:01:36.100 --> 00:01:38.040
  • her to do it, or think she should do it?
  • 00:01:38.040 --> 00:01:40.080
  • - No ya don't.
  • 00:01:40.080 --> 00:01:41.090
  • - Really?
  • 00:01:41.090 --> 00:01:42.040
  • - It's fine.
  • 00:01:42.040 --> 00:01:42.290
  • - I'm glad you're here.
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  • - You're your own person.
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  • We met as individuals, we gonna remain as individuals
  • 00:01:46.050 --> 00:01:48.130
  • even though we have formed a unit.
  • 00:01:48.150 --> 00:01:51.160
  • - I am my own individual and I don't have to think
  • 00:01:51.160 --> 00:01:55.050
  • and do it the way he does it?
  • 00:01:55.050 --> 00:01:57.040
  • - Absolutely not.
  • 00:01:57.040 --> 00:01:58.130
  • - Yes, yes.
  • 00:01:58.130 --> 00:01:59.220
  • - Absolutely not.
  • 00:01:59.220 --> 00:02:01.020
  • - What do you feel about that?
  • 00:02:01.020 --> 00:02:02.180
  • - Absolutely not.
  • 00:02:02.180 --> 00:02:04.060
  • (laughing)
  • 00:02:04.060 --> 00:02:06.180
  • You mean to tell me he tricked you?
  • 00:02:06.180 --> 00:02:08.010
  • - I'm not quite sure we got the right guest.
  • 00:02:08.010 --> 00:02:10.070
  • (audience laughing)
  • 00:02:10.070 --> 00:02:13.260
  • We gotta move on to--
  • 00:02:13.260 --> 00:02:15.030
  • - That's the beauty of a relationship.
  • 00:02:15.030 --> 00:02:16.280
  • That's the beauty of a relationship.
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  • That you learn each other's dance steps.
  • 00:02:18.200 --> 00:02:22.010
  • Like you just beautifully the man up there in the first
  • 00:02:22.010 --> 00:02:24.140
  • row, beautifully showed us here.
  • 00:02:24.140 --> 00:02:27.080
  • You learn each other's dance steps.
  • 00:02:27.080 --> 00:02:28.290
  • And that never stops.
  • 00:02:28.290 --> 00:02:31.030
  • Throughout your whole relationship.
  • 00:02:31.030 --> 00:02:32.110
  • - Absolutely, absolutely.
  • 00:02:32.110 --> 00:02:33.200
  • - It never stops.
  • 00:02:33.200 --> 00:02:34.270
  • You keep learning, you keep adjusting.
  • 00:02:34.270 --> 00:02:36.130
  • - That's what I was trying to say,
  • 00:02:36.130 --> 00:02:37.230
  • is that, most people come to the relationship
  • 00:02:37.230 --> 00:02:40.090
  • with all these ideas with how it's supposed to be.
  • 00:02:40.090 --> 00:02:42.260
  • You have other people in your ear, telling you how
  • 00:02:42.260 --> 00:02:45.200
  • it's supposed to be, so that's why I say before ya'll
  • 00:02:45.200 --> 00:02:47.140
  • in the bed, you her, your best friend, her best friend,
  • 00:02:47.140 --> 00:02:51.140
  • her mama, your daddy, everybody's in there with ya'll.
  • 00:02:51.140 --> 00:02:54.200
  • And then you just coast on these ideas.
  • 00:02:54.200 --> 00:02:57.190
  • And then you add all this other stuff ups and downs,
  • 00:02:57.190 --> 00:02:59.290
  • financial issues, throw some kids in there.
  • 00:02:59.290 --> 00:03:03.020
  • - Fears.
  • 00:03:03.020 --> 00:03:03.270
  • - Fears, of the stuff--
  • 00:03:03.270 --> 00:03:05.270
  • - Fears from the past that have nothing to do with you.
  • 00:03:05.270 --> 00:03:07.140
  • - From old relationships, without any check in.
  • 00:03:07.140 --> 00:03:10.160
  • - So when you first got married
  • 00:03:10.160 --> 00:03:12.110
  • I know you have rules as far as your work ethics
  • 00:03:12.110 --> 00:03:16.200
  • are concerned, what about your home?
  • 00:03:16.200 --> 00:03:19.240
  • You know, what would make you different than the
  • 00:03:19.240 --> 00:03:22.150
  • rest of Hollywood?
  • 00:03:22.150 --> 00:03:23.250
  • - We grew up differently.
  • 00:03:23.250 --> 00:03:25.280
  • As Pastor Mike said I grew up in Australia.
  • 00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:30.180
  • (laughing)
  • 00:03:30.180 --> 00:03:32.260
  • - I thought you were German.
  • 00:03:33.260 --> 00:03:36.130
  • - Was born in Austria, Austria.
  • 00:03:36.130 --> 00:03:39.000
  • - Austria!
  • 00:03:40.060 --> 00:03:41.010
  • I'm not that well traveled, boss.
  • 00:03:42.060 --> 00:03:44.190
  • - Austria is right next to Germany.
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  • Australia, that's the kangaroo place.
  • 00:03:46.180 --> 00:03:49.060
  • All the way, away.
  • 00:03:49.060 --> 00:03:50.210
  • - I blew that one big time.
  • 00:03:52.050 --> 00:03:54.070
  • - Can we get a map on the board here?
  • 00:03:54.070 --> 00:03:57.090
  • - But, yeah, we grew up completely differently.
  • 00:03:58.250 --> 00:04:03.100
  • In different cultures, different mentalities,
  • 00:04:03.100 --> 00:04:05.160
  • different languages.
  • 00:04:05.160 --> 00:04:06.150
  • - I'm from Baltimore ya'll.
  • 00:04:06.150 --> 00:04:07.200
  • So (audience cheering).
  • 00:04:07.200 --> 00:04:10.160
  • - Don't mess with that.
  • 00:04:10.160 --> 00:04:11.230
  • - Did your parents or family come down?
  • 00:04:11.230 --> 00:04:13.080
  • - Yes, my Mom is here, Mommy can you say hi?
  • 00:04:13.080 --> 00:04:16.040
  • - Wonderful, yes, stand please.
  • 00:04:16.040 --> 00:04:18.160
  • (applause)
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  • Bless you, awesome.
  • 00:04:20.280 --> 00:04:22.150
  • It's such a pleasure.
  • 00:04:23.100 --> 00:04:24.170
  • - One thing that we had in common was that
  • 00:04:24.170 --> 00:04:27.030
  • we both did not have any positive model in terms
  • 00:04:27.030 --> 00:04:31.260
  • of relationship or marriage.
  • 00:04:31.260 --> 00:04:34.180
  • Both of our parents were divorced.
  • 00:04:34.180 --> 00:04:35.280
  • - Had great parents though.
  • 00:04:35.280 --> 00:04:37.190
  • - Absolutely, absolutely.
  • 00:04:37.190 --> 00:04:39.100
  • - It's not the same.
  • 00:04:39.100 --> 00:04:40.280
  • We had great parents (audience laughing),
  • 00:04:40.280 --> 00:04:42.250
  • no, no, I wanna clarify, it's not the same.
  • 00:04:42.250 --> 00:04:44.160
  • Just because the parents (talking over each other).
  • 00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:47.270
  • - They're right over there, they're right there.
  • 00:04:47.270 --> 00:04:49.240
  • - That's right, yeah.
  • 00:04:49.240 --> 00:04:51.160
  • - No, that's my Mom's boo.
  • 00:04:51.160 --> 00:04:54.090
  • That's not my Dad, that's, Mommy is--
  • 00:04:54.090 --> 00:04:56.250
  • - Oh!
  • 00:04:56.250 --> 00:04:57.200
  • - Yes, super hot.
  • 00:04:57.200 --> 00:04:59.080
  • Jessie will you stand up, say hi, Jessie?
  • 00:04:59.080 --> 00:05:02.010
  • Will you say, give everybody (talking over each other).
  • 00:05:02.010 --> 00:05:04.040
  • - [Mike] Hey boo, hey boo.
  • 00:05:04.040 --> 00:05:06.210
  • - So.
  • 00:05:06.210 --> 00:05:07.160
  • So being that we did not have any positive models
  • 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:14.110
  • in terms of marriage, meant that we had to
  • 00:05:14.110 --> 00:05:17.260
  • inspire ourselves, and figure out ourselves
  • 00:05:19.240 --> 00:05:22.170
  • how we wanted our relationship to go.
  • 00:05:22.170 --> 00:05:26.080
  • How we wanted to communicate, for instance,
  • 00:05:26.080 --> 00:05:27.270
  • when we had our first fight, she threw a pillow at
  • 00:05:27.270 --> 00:05:30.230
  • me and walked out.
  • 00:05:30.230 --> 00:05:32.270
  • I said, "Hold on a minute."
  • 00:05:32.270 --> 00:05:35.200
  • That's not how we have a fight.
  • 00:05:35.200 --> 00:05:37.170
  • That's not a discussion, you can't just throw something
  • 00:05:37.170 --> 00:05:39.200
  • at me and walk out.
  • 00:05:39.200 --> 00:05:41.070
  • That's not how this works.
  • 00:05:41.070 --> 00:05:43.120
  • We have to be able to disagree on something
  • 00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:46.180
  • and then find some common ground on which to have
  • 00:05:46.180 --> 00:05:50.140
  • a conversation or discussion, and then come to some kind
  • 00:05:50.140 --> 00:05:54.070
  • of conclusion, together.
  • 00:05:54.070 --> 00:05:55.260
  • - Big one for me because I thought I said what I said,
  • 00:05:55.260 --> 00:05:59.010
  • and then what I said was how it is done,
  • 00:05:59.010 --> 00:06:01.160
  • and then you know, all of that--
  • 00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:02.290
  • - End of discussion.
  • 00:06:02.290 --> 00:06:04.140
  • - End of discussion, and I had to relearn even if I
  • 00:06:04.140 --> 00:06:08.120
  • was right, in that once we got there,
  • 00:06:08.120 --> 00:06:11.070
  • was right, in that once we got there,
  • 00:06:11.070 --> 00:06:11.110
  • new path to communicate.
  • 00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:15.200
  • And it's been the best thing that's ever happened to me.
  • 00:06:17.040 --> 00:06:19.180
  • - Wow.
  • 00:06:19.180 --> 00:06:21.030
  • - And we took charge, we took charge of our relationship,
  • 00:06:21.030 --> 00:06:24.140
  • our communication, we took charge of our destiny
  • 00:06:24.140 --> 00:06:27.070
  • because we completely disconnected from the past
  • 00:06:27.070 --> 00:06:31.050
  • and what happened in the past with our parents,
  • 00:06:32.180 --> 00:06:35.090
  • 'cause that wasn't our responsibility, it wasn't our fault.
  • 00:06:35.090 --> 00:06:39.020
  • But still we drew fears from that because we had
  • 00:06:39.020 --> 00:06:42.000
  • witnessed that, and we had to consciously make a
  • 00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:45.270
  • decision and promise to each other that what mattered,
  • 00:06:45.270 --> 00:06:49.060
  • what was what we were doing right now and right here,
  • 00:06:49.060 --> 00:06:52.140
  • we were establishing rules, and frameworks,
  • 00:06:52.140 --> 00:06:56.010
  • and a basis of communication that we were gonna take
  • 00:06:58.110 --> 00:07:01.110
  • into the future from here.
  • 00:07:01.110 --> 00:07:02.280
  • - Well, who were your marriage mentors in that respect
  • 00:07:02.280 --> 00:07:05.150
  • if you didn't have your parents to lean from where?
  • 00:07:05.150 --> 00:07:08.170
  • Where'd you get this constitution, how'd you establish
  • 00:07:08.170 --> 00:07:11.170
  • on your own or--
  • 00:07:11.170 --> 00:07:12.280
  • - That's a great question, Pastor.
  • 00:07:12.280 --> 00:07:14.140
  • Let me say one thing, Boris comes from another country,
  • 00:07:14.140 --> 00:07:17.240
  • right, so he has these other set of values--
  • 00:07:17.240 --> 00:07:21.050
  • (audience laughing)
  • 00:07:21.050 --> 00:07:23.150
  • - Thank you, there ya go, look here.
  • 00:07:23.150 --> 00:07:26.130
  • (audience laughing)
  • 00:07:26.130 --> 00:07:29.130
  • Okay class, pay attention.
  • 00:07:30.190 --> 00:07:32.240
  • - Where were you born?
  • 00:07:33.290 --> 00:07:35.090
  • - Austria.
  • 00:07:35.090 --> 00:07:36.140
  • - Austria!
  • 00:07:36.140 --> 00:07:37.260
  • - Repeat after me.
  • 00:07:37.260 --> 00:07:39.090
  • - [All] Austria!
  • 00:07:39.090 --> 00:07:41.080
  • - The capital is Vienna, that's where I was born.
  • 00:07:41.080 --> 00:07:45.060
  • - Father was a young doctor from Ghana--
  • 00:07:45.060 --> 00:07:47.090
  • - My father was from Ghana, which is down there.
  • 00:07:47.090 --> 00:07:49.260
  • Far to the south.
  • 00:07:49.260 --> 00:07:51.080
  • And, when I was five years old my mother took me
  • 00:07:52.200 --> 00:07:55.050
  • and my little brother and we moved to Germany.
  • 00:07:55.050 --> 00:07:59.000
  • We're actually in the south, right here in (mumbles)
  • 00:08:01.120 --> 00:08:03.120
  • 'cause that's where she's from.
  • 00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:04.170
  • So, that's where I grew up.
  • 00:08:04.170 --> 00:08:05.190
  • - Okay.
  • 00:08:05.190 --> 00:08:07.000
  • - Oh man, now I once was lost!
  • 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:09.150
  • But now I'm found!
  • 00:08:10.250 --> 00:08:12.150
  • (laughing)
  • 00:08:12.150 --> 00:08:14.230
  • - I love your question, and he's from another country
  • 00:08:17.170 --> 00:08:20.240
  • and his mindset, I mean he's still a man.
  • 00:08:20.240 --> 00:08:23.220
  • He still sowed his oats, but in the back of his mind
  • 00:08:23.220 --> 00:08:27.000
  • his life began when he found his wife.
  • 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:30.250
  • And had children, as opposed to the ball and chain,
  • 00:08:30.250 --> 00:08:33.130
  • got me on lockdown.
  • 00:08:33.130 --> 00:08:35.020
  • - I thought you gonna say found Jesus.
  • 00:08:35.020 --> 00:08:37.040
  • But his life began, he's shaking his head yes.
  • 00:08:37.040 --> 00:08:41.170
  • - Yeah, like he don't become a man until you have
  • 00:08:41.170 --> 00:08:44.100
  • a wife, he had--
  • 00:08:44.100 --> 00:08:46.040
  • - It's very different how we were raised
  • 00:08:46.040 --> 00:08:49.190
  • because I keep telling, especially when I speak to
  • 00:08:49.190 --> 00:08:53.060
  • University students I keep saying, men in their 20's
  • 00:08:53.060 --> 00:08:56.010
  • are useless, and we are supposed to be useless.
  • 00:08:56.010 --> 00:08:59.280
  • Because we're supposed to find ourselves.
  • 00:08:59.280 --> 00:09:03.040
  • Throughout college, after college, we're not supposed
  • 00:09:03.040 --> 00:09:05.170
  • to know everything yet.
  • 00:09:05.170 --> 00:09:07.210
  • We don't even know who we are so how am I somebody who
  • 00:09:07.210 --> 00:09:11.110
  • doesn't know who he is, how am I taking the responsibility
  • 00:09:11.110 --> 00:09:14.240
  • to make a woman my wife, at 25, 26 years old,
  • 00:09:14.240 --> 00:09:18.170
  • when I have no idea who I am?
  • 00:09:19.190 --> 00:09:21.290
  • Right?
  • 00:09:21.290 --> 00:09:23.130
  • So, when I came here, my only purpose was to find
  • 00:09:23.130 --> 00:09:27.000
  • who I was--
  • 00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:28.040
  • - That's what our problem was.
  • 00:09:28.040 --> 00:09:30.250
  • (audience laughing)
  • 00:09:30.250 --> 00:09:33.250
  • - Go right head.
  • 00:09:34.210 --> 00:09:36.090
  • (laughing)
  • 00:09:36.090 --> 00:09:38.160
  • Go right ahead, continue.
  • 00:09:40.180 --> 00:09:42.210
  • - You're helping him.
  • 00:09:44.050 --> 00:09:45.140
  • - So, okay, I'm sorry.
  • 00:09:45.140 --> 00:09:47.260
  • So by the time I was 29, 30 years old,
  • 00:09:47.260 --> 00:09:51.130
  • I met her.
  • 00:09:51.130 --> 00:09:52.080
  • I had enough experience to know that she was very special.
  • 00:09:53.190 --> 00:09:57.180
  • And she was somebody that I wanted to be married to.
  • 00:09:59.020 --> 00:10:02.210
  • And at that point--
  • 00:10:03.230 --> 00:10:04.210
  • - Well, were you this guy then?
  • 00:10:04.210 --> 00:10:06.190
  • - What's that?
  • 00:10:06.190 --> 00:10:07.260
  • - Were you this guy then when you married her?
  • 00:10:07.260 --> 00:10:11.190
  • - I was ready, when I was 30 and I met her,
  • 00:10:11.190 --> 00:10:15.040
  • I was ready.
  • 00:10:15.040 --> 00:10:16.170
  • She kept saying in our relationship, she kept saying
  • 00:10:16.170 --> 00:10:18.120
  • I wish I would've met you earlier.
  • 00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:20.180
  • And I kept saying, no, that wouldn't have been a good idea.
  • 00:10:20.180 --> 00:10:23.100
  • Because seriously, because at 23, 24, I wouldn't have
  • 00:10:23.100 --> 00:10:27.060
  • been able to be the man I was when I met her at 30.
  • 00:10:27.060 --> 00:10:30.270
  • And I would have messed it up.
  • 00:10:30.270 --> 00:10:32.170
  • I still, when I met her and I realized that she was
  • 00:10:32.170 --> 00:10:34.210
  • the one, I stepped back, and I went to therapy.
  • 00:10:34.210 --> 00:10:38.190
  • - Wait, wait, wait, are you,
  • 00:10:40.020 --> 00:10:41.180
  • wait, are you serious?
  • 00:10:41.180 --> 00:10:43.130
  • - [Boris] Yes, absolutely.
  • 00:10:45.050 --> 00:10:46.130
  • - You went to therapy?
  • 00:10:46.130 --> 00:10:47.140
  • - [Boris] I went to therapy, yes.
  • 00:10:47.140 --> 00:10:48.200
  • - To discuss what?
  • 00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:49.280
  • - I spent 10 years after college when I became--
  • 00:10:49.280 --> 00:10:51.260
  • - Names from his phone book, that's what it is,
  • 00:10:51.260 --> 00:10:55.050
  • oh my God (laughing).
  • 00:10:55.050 --> 00:10:57.290
  • - In my 20's I had done a lot of International research.
  • 00:10:57.290 --> 00:11:02.060
  • (audience laughing) (cheering)
  • 00:11:04.080 --> 00:11:08.130
  • Some very important studies.
  • 00:11:14.130 --> 00:11:17.060
  • - Research.
  • 00:11:17.060 --> 00:11:18.030
  • - Internationally.
  • 00:11:19.060 --> 00:11:20.190
  • - Yeah, yeah.
  • 00:11:20.190 --> 00:11:22.060
  • - So, so when I met her I developed these patterns.
  • 00:11:22.060 --> 00:11:25.100
  • I always would meet somebody and I would date them,
  • 00:11:25.100 --> 00:11:27.250
  • and I would drop them, and I would date them,
  • 00:11:27.250 --> 00:11:29.240
  • and the next person it was like a pattern that I
  • 00:11:29.240 --> 00:11:32.200
  • developed, and I had a huge responsibility in that,
  • 00:11:32.200 --> 00:11:34.290
  • so when I met her I knew that this is not how I wanted
  • 00:11:34.290 --> 00:11:37.010
  • this to go.
  • 00:11:37.010 --> 00:11:38.230
  • So, I said--
  • 00:11:38.230 --> 00:11:39.270
  • - What's so different about Nicole?
  • 00:11:39.270 --> 00:11:42.050
  • - Everything, everything.
  • 00:11:42.050 --> 00:11:43.270
  • She was a whole other species.
  • 00:11:43.270 --> 00:11:46.120
  • To me.
  • 00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:48.100
  • - [Mike] Come on, man, come on.
  • 00:11:48.100 --> 00:11:50.020
  • - Yeah, she was everything, when we met--
  • 00:11:50.020 --> 00:11:51.180
  • - Look at that smile on your face!
  • 00:11:51.180 --> 00:11:53.190
  • That's powerful.
  • 00:11:53.190 --> 00:11:55.170
  • - Because I'm very picky.
  • 00:11:55.170 --> 00:11:57.200
  • And when I met her, she had the intellect,
  • 00:11:59.010 --> 00:12:02.180
  • she had the humor, she had the worldliness.
  • 00:12:05.010 --> 00:12:08.190
  • She had traveled.
  • 00:12:09.210 --> 00:12:11.030
  • She didn't confuse Austria with Australia.
  • 00:12:12.180 --> 00:12:15.190
  • (laughing)
  • 00:12:15.190 --> 00:12:17.220
  • - And you need a ride home.
  • 00:12:17.220 --> 00:12:19.200
  • (laughing)
  • 00:12:19.200 --> 00:12:22.040
  • And you need a ride home!
  • 00:12:22.040 --> 00:12:24.090
  • - That's right.
  • 00:12:24.090 --> 00:12:26.000
  • Scratch that.
  • 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:27.060
  • (laughing)
  • 00:12:27.060 --> 00:12:28.160
  • - You won't leave me alone with that.
  • 00:12:28.160 --> 00:12:30.180
  • (laughing)
  • 00:12:30.180 --> 00:12:32.160
  • - I bet she's no California.
  • 00:12:32.160 --> 00:12:34.110
  • - I know California.
  • 00:12:34.110 --> 00:12:36.180
  • - And she was drop dead gorgeous.
  • 00:12:36.180 --> 00:12:39.110
  • With a body from straight Jesus.
  • 00:12:40.230 --> 00:12:43.130
  • (laughing)
  • 00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:47.070
  • And I knew that she was gonna be an amazing mother.
  • 00:12:47.070 --> 00:12:50.130
  • Just by way of how she was talking and her values,
  • 00:12:50.130 --> 00:12:52.260
  • and principles and all that.
  • 00:12:52.260 --> 00:12:54.110
  • So I knew that she was the one.
  • 00:12:54.110 --> 00:12:56.010
  • And I also knew that I was gonna mess it up.
  • 00:12:56.010 --> 00:12:58.050
  • Because I was in this weird pattern.
  • 00:12:58.050 --> 00:13:01.150
  • Of serial monogamism.
  • 00:13:01.150 --> 00:13:03.180
  • - So you sent and went after the sessions yourself.
  • 00:13:03.180 --> 00:13:07.230
  • Did she recommend that, or was that on your own?
  • 00:13:09.250 --> 00:13:13.010
  • - No, no, no that was my choice, that was my choice
  • 00:13:13.010 --> 00:13:14.140
  • because I knew--
  • 00:13:14.140 --> 00:13:15.120
  • - That's powerful.
  • 00:13:15.120 --> 00:13:16.180
  • - [Boris] And my mother, my mother--
  • 00:13:16.180 --> 00:13:18.030
  • - Isn't that great, come on, I mean.
  • 00:13:18.030 --> 00:13:18.280
  • - [Boris] Thank you.
  • 00:13:18.280 --> 00:13:20.180
  • - Ladies, wouldn't you say that's what your husband
  • 00:13:22.210 --> 00:13:24.190
  • missed, or is that--
  • 00:13:24.190 --> 00:13:26.100
  • (laughing).
  • 00:13:26.100 --> 00:13:27.270
  • - I think you're helping a lot of people, really.
  • 00:13:27.270 --> 00:13:31.130
  • (talking over each other)
  • 00:13:31.130 --> 00:13:34.040
  • - What people don't realize is that
  • 00:13:34.040 --> 00:13:36.240
  • therapy is no different than going to the dentist
  • 00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:40.260
  • when you have a toothache.
  • 00:13:43.100 --> 00:13:44.250
  • It's the same exact thing.
  • 00:13:44.250 --> 00:13:46.140
  • You hit me with the biggest muscle in your body,
  • 00:13:46.140 --> 00:13:50.260
  • and people ignore the importance of that.
  • 00:13:50.260 --> 00:13:54.270
  • Because when you live your life,
  • 00:13:54.270 --> 00:13:57.220
  • you're missing an objectivity, you're missing perspective.
  • 00:13:57.220 --> 00:14:01.290
  • Because you're in your life.
  • 00:14:02.250 --> 00:14:04.110
  • You are who you are.
  • 00:14:04.110 --> 00:14:05.180
  • And sometimes you need somebody to tell you
  • 00:14:05.180 --> 00:14:08.140
  • you're messin' up.
  • 00:14:08.140 --> 00:14:10.070
  • And whether that's a best friend, who's probably not
  • 00:14:10.070 --> 00:14:12.190
  • as skilled in telling you what the next step will be,
  • 00:14:12.190 --> 00:14:16.260
  • why not go to a professional?
  • 00:14:16.260 --> 00:14:19.040
  • So I went to therapy because I knew I had an issue,
  • 00:14:19.040 --> 00:14:21.200
  • and I knew that I had to take responsibility for it,
  • 00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:24.070
  • to not make the same mistakes with her.
  • 00:14:24.070 --> 00:14:26.170
  • And I did.
  • 00:14:26.170 --> 00:14:27.110
  • So I went and I got therapy, and I figured out what that
  • 00:14:28.250 --> 00:14:33.020
  • issue was, and how I could overcome that in order to
  • 00:14:33.020 --> 00:14:36.180
  • be the man that she deserved.
  • 00:14:36.180 --> 00:14:38.110
  • - [DeeDee] That's awesome.
  • 00:14:38.110 --> 00:14:39.080
  • - [Mike] Wow.
  • 00:14:39.080 --> 00:14:40.120
  • (applause)
  • 00:14:40.120 --> 00:14:42.250
  • Wow, you were about to say something about that, Nicole.
  • 00:14:42.250 --> 00:14:45.260
  • - I was gonna answer, circle back around to your first
  • 00:14:45.260 --> 00:14:48.020
  • question about other women and our commitment
  • 00:14:48.020 --> 00:14:51.210
  • and things like that, and I started with my dad.
  • 00:14:51.210 --> 00:14:54.110
  • First of all my dad was there in my life,
  • 00:14:54.110 --> 00:14:57.210
  • again, not the best husband, but he was a good father.
  • 00:14:57.210 --> 00:15:02.070
  • Then, I met a man who wanted to be married.
  • 00:15:02.070 --> 00:15:05.240
  • That's number one because a lot of us meet a guy
  • 00:15:07.060 --> 00:15:09.250
  • and we fall in love, and they fall in love with us
  • 00:15:09.250 --> 00:15:11.190
  • and they tell you I'm not ready to do this.
  • 00:15:11.190 --> 00:15:15.160
  • And you have to listen.
  • 00:15:15.160 --> 00:15:17.060
  • Because a guy will tell you I'm not ready,
  • 00:15:17.060 --> 00:15:19.200
  • and so we took our time.
  • 00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:21.200
  • He wanted to be married, and number two,
  • 00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:25.120
  • he doesn't act shady.
  • 00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:27.050
  • Like, a woman knows if something's going on.
  • 00:15:29.170 --> 00:15:32.060
  • - [Mike] Absolutely, I believe that.
  • 00:15:32.060 --> 00:15:34.060
  • - But also, he always handles himself in a way
  • 00:15:34.060 --> 00:15:38.010
  • that I don't need to check his phone.
  • 00:15:39.060 --> 00:15:41.120
  • I don't need to follow him, or ask him,
  • 00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:43.070
  • or check his mail or anything like that.
  • 00:15:43.070 --> 00:15:45.110
  • But the minute he does act shady, I might.
  • 00:15:45.110 --> 00:15:48.270
  • I think I have to open up that door and talk about it
  • 00:15:48.270 --> 00:15:51.060
  • but there's never any, he doesn't lay,
  • 00:15:51.060 --> 00:15:55.050
  • he always handles himself, all the time.
  • 00:15:55.050 --> 00:15:58.150
  • - Come on, what does that do for a woman?
  • 00:15:59.210 --> 00:16:01.260
  • Specifically you, what does that do for you?
  • 00:16:01.260 --> 00:16:04.050
  • - Oh it just makes me wanna even just be better.
  • 00:16:04.050 --> 00:16:08.190
  • I feel so empowered, I wanna be a better wife,
  • 00:16:08.190 --> 00:16:11.240
  • I wanna be a better mother.
  • 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:13.090
  • I wanna be a better friend.
  • 00:16:13.090 --> 00:16:15.090
  • Like, this sets you up to even excel in your own life.
  • 00:16:15.090 --> 00:16:18.110
  • When you feel loved and protected--
  • 00:16:18.110 --> 00:16:20.100
  • - [Mike] And secure.
  • 00:16:20.100 --> 00:16:21.050
  • - And secure, yes.
  • 00:16:21.050 --> 00:16:23.100
  • (applause)
  • 00:16:23.100 --> 00:16:25.010
  • I'm saying this for the men.
  • 00:16:25.010 --> 00:16:26.260
  • Like if you treat your woman right,
  • 00:16:26.260 --> 00:16:29.050
  • your home life will be night and day.
  • 00:16:29.050 --> 00:16:32.010
  • - [DeeDee] Yes, yes.
  • 00:16:32.010 --> 00:16:33.090
  • - And it's not just about things.
  • 00:16:33.090 --> 00:16:34.270
  • It's not about money and new purses.
  • 00:16:34.270 --> 00:16:37.270
  • And things like that, although those are nice, too.
  • 00:16:37.270 --> 00:16:40.100
  • - [DeeDee] Yeah, well I'm just sayin' I'm just sayin'.
  • 00:16:40.100 --> 00:16:42.230
  • - But--
  • 00:16:42.230 --> 00:16:44.020
  • - [DeeDee] That's true though.
  • 00:16:44.020 --> 00:16:45.140
  • - It's the little things that build a
  • 00:16:45.140 --> 00:16:47.110
  • long-term relationship.
  • 00:16:47.110 --> 00:16:49.090
  • And the other thing is that,
  • 00:16:50.060 --> 00:16:52.270
  • sometimes we do things that we think the person likes.
  • 00:16:52.270 --> 00:16:55.190
  • Like I was saying before, and then there's the things
  • 00:16:55.190 --> 00:16:58.090
  • like you gotta check in and find out what your man
  • 00:16:58.090 --> 00:17:01.110
  • even though you've been married forever,
  • 00:17:01.110 --> 00:17:03.180
  • find out what he would like to do on your anniversary.
  • 00:17:03.180 --> 00:17:06.100
  • Don't just go to dinner because that's what everybody
  • 00:17:06.100 --> 00:17:08.130
  • does, maybe he wants to hear some music at a spot
  • 00:17:08.130 --> 00:17:11.050
  • that he hasn't been to.
  • 00:17:11.050 --> 00:17:13.070
  • Maybe he wants to you know, go watch the game at some
  • 00:17:13.070 --> 00:17:18.000
  • sports place or something like, it's okay to do what
  • 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:21.210
  • your man or your woman likes to do.
  • 00:17:21.210 --> 00:17:23.280
  • - [Mike] Stay loose, stay loose.
  • 00:17:23.280 --> 00:17:25.110
  • - Yeah!
  • 00:17:25.110 --> 00:17:26.260
  • Because you know what, when he cheats or the person strays
  • 00:17:26.260 --> 00:17:29.250
  • it's because this person is not better or cuter
  • 00:17:29.250 --> 00:17:33.230
  • or anything to you, she or he just did the thing that
  • 00:17:33.230 --> 00:17:36.190
  • he liked.
  • 00:17:36.190 --> 00:17:37.260
  • - [Mike] Yeah, yeah come on.
  • 00:17:37.260 --> 00:17:39.170
  • - I think she's absolutely right.
  • 00:17:39.170 --> 00:17:41.010
  • And there's two things, there's,
  • 00:17:41.010 --> 00:17:43.210
  • the fact that you wanna be married.
  • 00:17:44.280 --> 00:17:47.250
  • That's very strong.
  • 00:17:47.250 --> 00:17:49.110
  • When a man tells you he wants to be married,
  • 00:17:49.110 --> 00:17:50.230
  • he wants to be married.
  • 00:17:50.230 --> 00:17:52.010
  • And when a man tells you he's not ready,
  • 00:17:52.010 --> 00:17:53.060
  • what does that mean?
  • 00:17:53.060 --> 00:17:54.260
  • - He's not ready.
  • 00:17:54.260 --> 00:17:56.000
  • - And you cannot change that.
  • 00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:57.180
  • I don't care how much he's in love with you
  • 00:17:57.180 --> 00:18:00.020
  • or says he's in love with you, you can't change that.
  • 00:18:00.020 --> 00:18:02.180
  • And again, you have to take him for who he is,
  • 00:18:02.180 --> 00:18:05.190
  • at that point in time and not project things on top
  • 00:18:05.190 --> 00:18:08.250
  • of him because you want to be married so badly.
  • 00:18:08.250 --> 00:18:12.130
  • And a second thing was that...
  • 00:18:12.130 --> 00:18:14.280
  • Little things.
  • 00:18:18.190 --> 00:18:20.150
  • Our 11th anniversary just passed, last week, so--
  • 00:18:20.150 --> 00:18:24.110
  • - [Mike] Congratulations.
  • 00:18:24.110 --> 00:18:25.280
  • - Thank you.
  • 00:18:25.280 --> 00:18:27.110
  • (applause)
  • 00:18:27.110 --> 00:18:28.260
  • And we always traveling, we always all over the place
  • 00:18:28.260 --> 00:18:30.190
  • so for us it was important just to stay put.
  • 00:18:30.190 --> 00:18:34.090
  • And not get on another flight.
  • 00:18:34.090 --> 00:18:36.260
  • So we said look why don't we do a staycation.
  • 00:18:36.260 --> 00:18:39.030
  • Why don't we--
  • 00:18:39.030 --> 00:18:39.290
  • - I love it.
  • 00:18:39.290 --> 00:18:41.130
  • - Take two days and we check into a nice hotel in LA
  • 00:18:41.130 --> 00:18:44.190
  • and we do the couples massages.
  • 00:18:44.190 --> 00:18:46.120
  • Brunch, right there, we don't go far.
  • 00:18:46.120 --> 00:18:49.060
  • And we did that and then the next morning we're
  • 00:18:49.060 --> 00:18:52.060
  • supposed to go to brunch but then she said she had
  • 00:18:52.060 --> 00:18:53.270
  • a surprise for me and she set up
  • 00:18:53.270 --> 00:18:55.180
  • an hour of tennis for me, and I used to be a tennis
  • 00:18:55.180 --> 00:18:59.230
  • player I love tennis, I still love the sport.
  • 00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:04.260
  • I still play a lot.
  • 00:19:04.260 --> 00:19:06.110
  • And she knew because she knows me.
  • 00:19:06.110 --> 00:19:08.140
  • She knew that I would appreciate and I would enjoy
  • 00:19:08.140 --> 00:19:10.080
  • playing an hour of tennis in the morning.
  • 00:19:10.080 --> 00:19:13.020
  • 'Cause I don't get to play that much 'cause with the
  • 00:19:13.020 --> 00:19:15.070
  • kids and everything, so she set up an hour of tennis
  • 00:19:15.070 --> 00:19:17.040
  • for me--
  • 00:19:17.040 --> 00:19:18.190
  • - But it's your anniversary, you're supposed to be together.
  • 00:19:18.190 --> 00:19:20.140
  • And do things together.
  • 00:19:20.140 --> 00:19:22.000
  • - But it's little things, it wasn't anything extraordinary.
  • 00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:24.250
  • What's that?
  • 00:19:24.250 --> 00:19:25.200
  • - Go ahead.
  • 00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:26.280
  • - But she set it up, it was a beautiful court
  • 00:19:26.280 --> 00:19:29.060
  • overlooking LA.
  • 00:19:29.060 --> 00:19:30.130
  • And she went with me, and watched me, which she never does.
  • 00:19:32.060 --> 00:19:35.070
  • - [Mike] Come on.
  • 00:19:35.070 --> 00:19:36.280
  • - So that was a really really special gesture
  • 00:19:36.280 --> 00:19:40.030
  • on her part because she knows me and she knows what I like,
  • 00:19:40.030 --> 00:19:44.010
  • so those kind of things that go along way
  • 00:19:44.010 --> 00:19:47.060
  • because she knew that--
  • 00:19:47.060 --> 00:19:48.290
  • - The look on his face.
  • 00:19:48.290 --> 00:19:50.120
  • - She was gonna get a purse out of it eventually.
  • 00:19:50.120 --> 00:19:52.130
  • (laughing)
  • 00:19:52.130 --> 00:19:54.220
  • So it went a long way.
  • 00:19:54.220 --> 00:19:57.050
  • - You know what I'm sayin' like I think I appreciate
  • 00:19:57.050 --> 00:19:59.030
  • that you brought that up, babe, but he's sayin' it
  • 00:19:59.030 --> 00:20:02.090
  • because I'm not a tennis fanatic, he's a tennis fanatic.
  • 00:20:02.090 --> 00:20:06.290
  • And in his life he can't play that much.
  • 00:20:06.290 --> 00:20:08.180
  • He has injuries, life, kids.
  • 00:20:08.180 --> 00:20:10.180
  • So, the gem was when I looked at him,
  • 00:20:10.180 --> 00:20:13.200
  • when I told him where we were going at 8:00 in the morning
  • 00:20:15.140 --> 00:20:18.200
  • this made him happier than the present I gave him.
  • 00:20:18.200 --> 00:20:22.160
  • The time we spent and with the champagne
  • 00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:25.240
  • and the strawberries, like he was set.
  • 00:20:25.240 --> 00:20:28.270
  • He was like empowered that somebody had his back,
  • 00:20:30.090 --> 00:20:33.180
  • or somebody knew him and that's a really beautiful feeling.
  • 00:20:33.180 --> 00:20:37.000
  • - There seems to be a concentrated focus on building
  • 00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:39.040
  • each other up.
  • 00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:40.090
  • Doesn't it appear that they are interested in
  • 00:20:41.150 --> 00:20:44.160
  • building each other up?
  • 00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:46.140
  • How significant of role--
  • 00:20:47.120 --> 00:20:48.190
  • - It's very significant because
  • 00:20:48.190 --> 00:20:51.030
  • you know how life go.
  • 00:20:51.030 --> 00:20:52.020
  • Life beats you down sometimes.
  • 00:20:52.020 --> 00:20:53.220
  • And when you have somebody--
  • 00:20:53.220 --> 00:20:55.170
  • - History does, too.
  • 00:20:55.170 --> 00:20:57.000
  • - And when you have somebody who's in your corner,
  • 00:20:57.000 --> 00:20:58.250
  • you have somebody who supports you and has got your back,
  • 00:20:58.250 --> 00:21:02.160
  • that gives you unimaginable strength.
  • 00:21:02.160 --> 00:21:06.070
  • And for a man especially, you know there's so many
  • 00:21:06.070 --> 00:21:08.280
  • good men out there and I know women say all the time
  • 00:21:08.280 --> 00:21:10.240
  • you know there's no black man, there's no black man,
  • 00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:13.010
  • I think that's absolutely false.
  • 00:21:13.010 --> 00:21:15.100
  • I think there's a lot of great men out there.
  • 00:21:15.100 --> 00:21:17.150
  • (applause)
  • 00:21:17.150 --> 00:21:19.220
  • What needs to be stressed in a relationship,
  • 00:21:21.110 --> 00:21:23.110
  • just as much as communication, and trust,
  • 00:21:23.110 --> 00:21:26.080
  • which is a choice and everything else is
  • 00:21:26.080 --> 00:21:28.010
  • the fact that you have to show appreciation for each other.
  • 00:21:28.010 --> 00:21:32.060
  • That's very, very important.
  • 00:21:34.040 --> 00:21:36.210
  • Because as men, we feel like we're fighting a war
  • 00:21:36.210 --> 00:21:39.260
  • out there every single day.
  • 00:21:39.260 --> 00:21:41.130
  • We leave the house and we're battling and we're hustling
  • 00:21:41.130 --> 00:21:44.090
  • and to support our families.
  • 00:21:44.090 --> 00:21:45.280
  • So when we come home we need a sense that we're
  • 00:21:45.280 --> 00:21:49.080
  • being appreciated, and--
  • 00:21:49.080 --> 00:21:51.190
  • - It's ancient, I mean that comes up in every book--
  • 00:21:51.190 --> 00:21:54.020
  • - It's very basic, but it's very important.
  • 00:21:54.020 --> 00:21:56.170
  • - It's very important.
  • 00:21:56.170 --> 00:21:57.240
  • - When and she understands that.
  • 00:21:57.240 --> 00:21:59.150
  • She understands that when I come into the house--
  • 00:21:59.150 --> 00:22:01.200
  • - And I'm ready.
  • 00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:03.000
  • And then I pull it back.
  • 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:05.170
  • - And she's ready to jump on me with eight things
  • 00:22:05.170 --> 00:22:07.110
  • on the list that I should've done--
  • 00:22:07.110 --> 00:22:09.100
  • - It's a muscle and then I had to--
  • 00:22:09.100 --> 00:22:10.180
  • - She backs up.
  • 00:22:10.180 --> 00:22:12.000
  • - I heard you say one time that...
  • 00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:14.250
  • You have to learn how your mouth does not serve
  • 00:22:16.190 --> 00:22:20.070
  • the relationship.
  • 00:22:20.070 --> 00:22:21.140
  • - [Nicole] Are you giving a secret code?
  • 00:22:21.140 --> 00:22:23.250
  • - Yeah, yeah, talk about that because--
  • 00:22:23.250 --> 00:22:25.290
  • - I'm trying to figure that out too, why is that so
  • 00:22:25.290 --> 00:22:27.270
  • important to you?
  • 00:22:27.270 --> 00:22:29.060
  • (laughing)
  • 00:22:29.060 --> 00:22:31.070
  • - No I mean when she pulled back, you see how she,
  • 00:22:31.070 --> 00:22:33.000
  • she pulled back like that?
  • 00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:34.180
  • She was about to go ahead and she pulled back.
  • 00:22:34.180 --> 00:22:37.100
  • She caught it herself, I didn't have to say anything.
  • 00:22:37.100 --> 00:22:39.290
  • (laughing)
  • 00:22:39.290 --> 00:22:41.260
  • - You had to snap back there.
  • 00:22:41.260 --> 00:22:42.230
  • (laughing)
  • 00:22:42.230 --> 00:22:44.160
  • It's important, it's very, very important.
  • 00:22:44.160 --> 00:22:47.040
  • - On both sides.
  • 00:22:47.040 --> 00:22:48.140
  • - Let me tell you something funny.
  • 00:22:50.150 --> 00:22:54.010
  • When my wife, she's a great cook.
  • 00:22:54.010 --> 00:22:56.280
  • When my wife prepares a meal, for me,
  • 00:22:56.280 --> 00:23:00.020
  • it's over.
  • 00:23:02.040 --> 00:23:03.240
  • It's a wrap, that's to me,
  • 00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:05.290
  • that is significant on so many levels.
  • 00:23:07.180 --> 00:23:10.230
  • There's appreciation, there's love,
  • 00:23:11.250 --> 00:23:13.180
  • there's caring, there's catering,
  • 00:23:13.180 --> 00:23:16.200
  • which sometimes is also very necessary that we
  • 00:23:16.200 --> 00:23:18.130
  • cater to each other's needs.
  • 00:23:18.130 --> 00:23:21.100
  • It's home life, it's protection, it's structure--
  • 00:23:21.100 --> 00:23:24.030
  • - So, did you all discuss those things,
  • 00:23:24.030 --> 00:23:25.170
  • like did you tell her, "Okay baby, I love for you
  • 00:23:25.170 --> 00:23:28.070
  • "to cook for me"?
  • 00:23:28.070 --> 00:23:29.100
  • - [Boris] Absolutely, absolutely.
  • 00:23:29.100 --> 00:23:30.270
  • - [Mike] Those things were communicated?
  • 00:23:30.270 --> 00:23:32.030
  • - You can't be scared to express that.
  • 00:23:32.030 --> 00:23:33.270
  • - You gotta know your partner,
  • 00:23:33.270 --> 00:23:35.040
  • certain things matter to different people.
  • 00:23:35.040 --> 00:23:37.240
  • You know, and so you have to talk about those things
  • 00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:40.030
  • and then try to do them.
  • 00:23:40.030 --> 00:23:41.190
  • I didn't know how to cook, I mean my Mom
  • 00:23:41.190 --> 00:23:43.160
  • could throw down, I was callin' her for recipes.
  • 00:23:43.160 --> 00:23:46.290
  • But I learned how to cook.
  • 00:23:46.290 --> 00:23:49.040
  • - So your cooking is one of your go-to strategies.
  • 00:23:50.170 --> 00:23:52.230
  • - [Nicole] Ways of loving him.
  • 00:23:52.230 --> 00:23:54.060
  • - Ways of loving him, that's your go-to strategy.
  • 00:23:54.060 --> 00:23:55.250
  • - Yes, it's my go-to when I need a cute outfit.
  • 00:23:55.250 --> 00:23:58.060
  • - What words are your go-to?
  • 00:23:58.060 --> 00:23:59.270
  • I didn't get that.
  • 00:23:59.270 --> 00:24:00.270
  • - When I need a cute outfit.
  • 00:24:00.270 --> 00:24:02.050
  • - That's it.
  • 00:24:02.050 --> 00:24:03.050
  • - Yes.
  • 00:24:03.050 --> 00:24:04.000
  • - You're workin' it.
  • 00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:05.060
  • - I'm laying those lasagna noodles flat.
  • 00:24:05.060 --> 00:24:06.060
  • - [DeeDee] (hollering) Girl!
  • 00:24:06.060 --> 00:24:09.150
  • - Don't sleep.
  • 00:24:09.150 --> 00:24:10.200
  • (laughing)
  • 00:24:10.200 --> 00:24:12.040
  • Her lasagna's the truth.
  • 00:24:12.040 --> 00:24:14.070
  • - [Mike] I love it, I love it.
  • 00:24:14.070 --> 00:24:15.260
  • - But it goes both ways.
  • 00:24:15.260 --> 00:24:17.100
  • I know what she likes.
  • 00:24:17.100 --> 00:24:19.170
  • - Like, I love the theater.
  • 00:24:19.170 --> 00:24:21.020
  • I come from the theater, I went to NYU.
  • 00:24:21.020 --> 00:24:23.070
  • I studied acting, classically trained.
  • 00:24:23.070 --> 00:24:25.160
  • I wanted to like, you know, be on Broadway all the time,
  • 00:24:25.160 --> 00:24:29.120
  • and he could care less about a play.
  • 00:24:29.120 --> 00:24:32.110
  • But he always, we go to New York, he always finds
  • 00:24:32.110 --> 00:24:37.020
  • the tickets to the show that I wanna see--
  • 00:24:37.020 --> 00:24:39.120
  • - [Mike] You've seen Hamilton already?
  • 00:24:39.120 --> 00:24:40.220
  • - No, we haven't seen Hamilton yet.
  • 00:24:40.220 --> 00:24:42.040
  • Yeah, we're going to see it.
  • 00:24:42.040 --> 00:24:43.120
  • - You gotta step up your game.
  • 00:24:43.120 --> 00:24:44.170
  • (audience laughing)
  • 00:24:44.170 --> 00:24:46.060
  • I already been.
  • 00:24:46.060 --> 00:24:47.100
  • - No way.
  • 00:24:47.100 --> 00:24:48.060
  • (audience laughing)
  • 00:24:48.060 --> 00:24:51.060
  • Not yet, I'm workin' on it.
  • 00:24:57.180 --> 00:24:59.130
  • We're gonna get there before Jesus get back.
  • 00:24:59.130 --> 00:25:01.150
  • (laughing)
  • 00:25:01.150 --> 00:25:03.160
  • - Does anyone want to ask us any questions?
  • 00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:05.170
  • 'Cause you know, we talkin' a lot.
  • 00:25:05.170 --> 00:25:07.000
  • (talking over each other)
  • 00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:09.130
  • - It goes both ways because I know what she likes.
  • 00:25:09.130 --> 00:25:11.250
  • And I know how I can put a smile on her face.
  • 00:25:11.250 --> 00:25:14.060
  • She said, theater was her love, so whenever we go
  • 00:25:14.060 --> 00:25:17.090
  • to New York we go to the theater.
  • 00:25:17.090 --> 00:25:19.010
  • And it's not like I don't like it.
  • 00:25:19.010 --> 00:25:22.070
  • I enjoy it, but she loves the theater,
  • 00:25:22.070 --> 00:25:25.190
  • and when she performed, she was on Broadway,
  • 00:25:25.190 --> 00:25:29.150
  • she performed in Streetcar Named Desire,
  • 00:25:29.150 --> 00:25:32.050
  • she was the first African American to play Blanche DuBois
  • 00:25:32.050 --> 00:25:35.020
  • on Broadway.
  • 00:25:35.020 --> 00:25:36.150
  • (cheering)
  • 00:25:36.150 --> 00:25:38.100
  • That's right, in history!
  • 00:25:38.100 --> 00:25:40.120
  • Voiceover: Thank you for viewing Living By Faith.
  • 00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:44.030
  • If you'd like to obtain a copy of today's lesson,
  • 00:25:44.030 --> 00:25:46.170
  • or any other featured item,
  • 00:25:46.170 --> 00:25:48.100
  • please give us a call at 1-888-630-4540.
  • 00:25:48.100 --> 00:25:55.150
  • Voiceover: If you are ever in the Washington
  • 00:25:56.060 --> 00:25:57.170
  • - What an awesome time it is to be a woman
  • 00:26:07.180 --> 00:26:10.040
  • in the body of Christ.
  • 00:26:10.040 --> 00:26:11.240
  • Why?
  • 00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:13.010
  • Because I have something planned just for you.
  • 00:26:13.010 --> 00:26:16.100
  • Something so invigorating, something so exciting,
  • 00:26:16.100 --> 00:26:20.220
  • something that's gonna be so amazing
  • 00:26:20.220 --> 00:26:23.150
  • that you will not want to miss.
  • 00:26:23.150 --> 00:26:26.000
  • God's Glamorous Girls is coming
  • 00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:28.120
  • July the 11th through the 13th.
  • 00:26:28.120 --> 00:26:31.060
  • You want to be in Baltimore, because it is going down.
  • 00:26:31.060 --> 00:26:35.110
  • The Fellowship presents God's Glamorous Girls.
  • 00:26:36.190 --> 00:26:39.230
  • I'm inviting all of you to come and be a part of it.
  • 00:26:39.230 --> 00:26:42.220
  • We have some amazing artists that are gonna be there.
  • 00:26:42.220 --> 00:26:45.110
  • We have some awesome speakers that are gonna be there,
  • 00:26:45.110 --> 00:26:48.000
  • ministering to you.
  • 00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:49.110
  • And I want to see you there.
  • 00:26:49.110 --> 00:26:50.210
  • I want to touch you. I want to feel you.
  • 00:26:50.210 --> 00:26:53.050
  • I want you to know that I care about you.
  • 00:26:53.050 --> 00:26:55.210
  • So I need to see you, so I can communicate that with you.
  • 00:26:55.210 --> 00:26:59.110
  • See you there, July the 11th through the 13th in Baltimore.
  • 00:26:59.110 --> 00:27:03.180
  • (dramatic music)
  • 00:27:04.150 --> 00:27:07.060
  • And we are going to experience a move of God
  • 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:13.200
  • like never before.
  • 00:27:14.170 --> 00:27:16.020
  • God's decree, yes indeed.
  • 00:27:17.080 --> 00:27:19.110
  • Things are gonna happen so fast,
  • 00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:23.060
  • it's gonna make your head swim.
  • 00:27:24.060 --> 00:27:26.240
  • It says that you're not gonna be able to keep up.
  • 00:27:29.070 --> 00:27:33.190
  • And I am expecting God to do a quick working here.
  • 00:27:33.190 --> 00:27:37.270
  • Some of you came in here, you need healing,
  • 00:27:37.270 --> 00:27:40.140
  • you need deliverance, you need salvation,
  • 00:27:40.140 --> 00:27:43.170
  • you need a friend, you need love,
  • 00:27:43.170 --> 00:27:46.100
  • you just need to know that the mercy of God exists for you.
  • 00:27:46.100 --> 00:27:50.170
  • Whatever you need in this place this week,
  • 00:27:50.170 --> 00:27:53.150
  • I guarantee you that you won't leave here the same way
  • 00:27:53.150 --> 00:27:58.010
  • that you have come in, in the name of Jesus.
  • 00:27:58.010 --> 00:28:01.230