The Family Meeting | TBN

The Family Meeting

Watch The Family Meeting
August 3, 2016
28:30

Living by Faith with Mike & DeeDee Freeman

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The Family Meeting

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  • - If you are married or engaged,
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  • then join the marriage doctors themselves,
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  • Doctors Mike and DeeDee Freeman from Marriage Made EZ,
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  • with special guest, gospel, television, and movie
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  • powerhouse couple, David and Tamela Mann,
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  • as they share on faith, love, and marriage,
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  • both on and off the screen.
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  • Friday, August 5th, at 7pm at Spirit of Faith
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  • Christian Center in Brandywine, Maryland.
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  • For more information, visit marriagemadeez.com.
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  • (upbeat music)
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  • - Don't miss Dr. Michael Freeman at the first anniversary
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  • celebration for Spirit of Faith Christian Center New York
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  • and Pastor Kevin and First Lady Melody Adams,
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  • Wednesday, August 17th, and Thursday, August 18th
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  • at 7pm nightly at MIST Harlem, 46 West 116th Street
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  • in New York City.
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  • - Can't wait to see ya there in the Big Apple.
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  • spend some time with everybody together.
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  • - "What do you do when a spouse does more
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  • "for their family members than they do for you?"
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  • (indistinct chatter from audience)
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  • Oh Jesus.
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  • - Right, and so after I got passed myself,
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  • I was like okay.
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  • - You know that's the prerequisite of following Christ?
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  • Get past yourself.
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  • - Why is your wife getting on your nerve?
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  • Or why is your husband getting on your nerve?
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  • I promise you, you don't wanna miss
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  • this upcoming table talk discussion
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  • with Dr. Dee Dee.
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  • It's a reason why each other
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  • are getting on each others nerves
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  • and we're gon fix that today.
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  • Don't leave from where you are.
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  • a level of control implemented there.
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  • And I never wanted her or even you in that respect
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  • to feel like there's any control that I am
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  • enforcing in your relationship.
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  • That's why I've always made it clear to Keisha
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  • and also Kevin that you're your own people.
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  • And you have the right to make whatever decisions.
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  • I on the other hand knowing some things
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  • about life, and ministry, and handling domestic
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  • issues and so forth and so on.
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  • I can just share with you my two cent.
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  • Advise is for two things to take or to leave.
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  • And it would be entirely up to you
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  • and I'm glad you made that clear.
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  • Because I stand in the same premise with you in that.
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  • I don't wanna just say do this and you do this.
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  • But as one who's been under my authority,
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  • as it relates to her destiny and her future,
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  • I had her best interests at heart at that particular time.
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  • When I give her hand to you in marriage, guess what?
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  • That is cut off, you be the man at that time.
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  • But I'll kill you if you mess up.
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  • (audience laughs)
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  • Now dig this, dig this.
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  • We gotta also understand the weight of a man
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  • and the weight of a man's voice.
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  • And that's where you father's play such significant role
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  • in the relationship because the weight of a woman
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  • is like about 25 pounds compared to the weight
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  • of a man who is about 500 pounds.
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  • When a man speaks in an environment
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  • it's more weightier than a woman speaking.
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  • I promise you that.
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  • My mama used to really exercise and enforce that,
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  • and it registered in us.
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  • She would just say "Wait til your daddy get home."
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  • She coupled her weight with his weight
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  • and it literally caused something to stand up in us
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  • to respect and honor in a greater magnitude.
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  • You two coming together with the weight that you possess
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  • and what you say and do, it's gonna be an unstoppable force.
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  • And it's not much I'm gonna have to tell ya.
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  • But what I am saying to you,
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  • like I would suggest to everybody here,
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  • if you ever need me son, I'm right here with you
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  • to give you my best.
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  • Cause all mine is thine.
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  • Everything I'm working for at this particular point
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  • is for these people and their offsprings.
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  • I rest my case.
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  • - I receive that. (audience applauds)
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  • - That's my dude.
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  • Come on Keisha, talk to me.
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  • Keisha hasn't said a thing over there.
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  • - [Keisha] Can you repeat - [Pastor] What your mama
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  • - [Keisha] the question? - [Pastor] say about Josh.
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  • - [Pastor] What did your mama say about Josh?
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  • Was she opposed to him?
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  • I mean or did you have the kind of relationship
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  • with mama that she would
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  • have the impact?
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  • What kind of weight did she possess in your life?
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  • Relative to your decision.
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  • - Well Josh knows, it's been like me
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  • and my mom my whole life.
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  • So, she has impact in my choice.
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  • So my mom did love Josh in the beginning.
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  • She still does but. - [Pastor] In the beginning.
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  • (everyone laughs)
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  • - You know before you get married everything gets peachy,
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  • and then you know you get married and you go through things,
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  • but you make it through.
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  • And yeah, she likes Josh she loves Josh.
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  • - So, if she woulda said "Keisha, I don't think
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  • "that's a good choice for you."
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  • - [Josh] Tell the truth.
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  • - I would of had to respect it.
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  • But...
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  • I may have tried to "Well ma you know
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  • "he such and such." - [Pastor] Okay talk it.
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  • That's typical, right right.
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  • - So, I didn't have that problem but,
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  • he's my choice.
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  • I'm happy I made that choice.
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  • - [Pastor] You sound so happy about it.
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  • "He's my choice, I guess I gotta."
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  • - [DeeDee] She said she happy with that choice.
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  • - I know, I'm just playing.
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  • Can't I play?
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  • You know, I recently met with a young man,
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  • and I don't mean to dominate this time.
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  • Y'all jump in there.
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  • But I recently met this young man he's 15 years old.
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  • His mother just married a guy six years ago
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  • and he can't stand his mother's choice.
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  • What do you do?
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  • Cause now you got a blended deal coming on.
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  • And I sat and talked with her.
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  • And she did not methodically, there was no strategy,
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  • there was no plan.
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  • She digged this dude, got involved with him,
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  • didn't incorporate this cat
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  • into her baby's flow.
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  • And now he doesn't have much
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  • to do with his stepfather.
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  • I don't personally like the term stepfather.
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  • I just like dad or whatever they choose
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  • to call them, but stepfather.
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  • (Pastor stutters)
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  • Let's talk about that for a moment.
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  • How do you get some one who's.
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  • Because there are more blended families now
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  • than the traditional.
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  • - [DeeDee] Of course, and we gonna address
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  • some of that kind of stuff probably in the family series.
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  • But it's too many different dynamics for it.
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  • That's too broad of a thing right there.
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  • Because I need to know okay,
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  • how's the mother treating the son now?
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  • How is the stepfather treating the son.
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  • You know, what kind of--
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  • - She's guarding the son now.
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  • - Yeah, so it's like why don't he like him?
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  • You know, there's so many other things--
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  • - I tell you what, you can narrow all of what I ask
  • 00:08:24.030 --> 00:08:27.080
  • by giving us some pointers for those who
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  • are marrying people who have had kids
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  • prior to them getting married.
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  • - I think they should develop relationships
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  • with the kids as well.
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  • I do, I think--
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  • - How?
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  • - I don't know, spending time with each other.
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  • - How?
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  • - Go to the movies do something.
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  • Go to dinner, sit down, have a family meeting.
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  • You know involve them, because they are a part of it now.
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  • Like you said, you're not just marrying the mom now.
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  • You're marrying into this family
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  • and you're becoming one unit.
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  • I do believe that sometimes,
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  • you as the adult though have to be the one
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  • to decide or determine whether or not the child
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  • is just having some kind of personal issues
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  • and just not wanting you to be in a relationship.
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  • Because they want you to be in a relationship
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  • with the other parent.
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  • You know, opposed to being in a relationship
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  • with somebody new.
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  • So it's just so many different dynamics in that to me.
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  • I think that's so broad, but I do personally would say
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  • spend some time with everybody together.
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  • - "What do you do when a spouse does more
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  • "for their family members than they do for you?"
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  • (indistinct chatter from audience)
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  • Oh Jesus.
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  • Y'all are kinda one sided in that respect.
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  • Yeah, you're one sided.
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  • Because I always try to encourage you,
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  • especially you Britney to go and to take
  • 00:10:10.020 --> 00:10:13.090
  • the baby's to Kevin's mom and dad's house.
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  • And you always over at my house.
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  • And I kinda feel like there's
  • 00:10:20.030 --> 00:10:24.020
  • no equality or balance in that.
  • 00:10:24.020 --> 00:10:27.040
  • And I don't know how his parents may feel about that.
  • 00:10:27.130 --> 00:10:31.150
  • So you may be doing more for your family
  • 00:10:31.220 --> 00:10:35.050
  • with respect to having your children around
  • 00:10:35.050 --> 00:10:38.220
  • in our environment and not giving them
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  • the same kind of love.
  • 00:10:41.230 --> 00:10:43.100
  • - You know while you were making that point about
  • 00:10:50.270 --> 00:10:53.040
  • how now, I no longer get on your nerves
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  • because you have made some decisions
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  • to change and I love that.
  • 00:10:59.120 --> 00:11:01.140
  • I mean because that's evident.
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  • You have definitely changed your position,
  • 00:11:03.290 --> 00:11:06.270
  • your disposition towards me
  • 00:11:06.270 --> 00:11:11.090
  • and with everybody in that regard.
  • 00:11:11.090 --> 00:11:13.200
  • But I was thinking, you know how we're always
  • 00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:16.220
  • talking about when your spouse has something
  • 00:11:16.220 --> 00:11:21.050
  • that they're encountering that you disagree with
  • 00:11:21.050 --> 00:11:24.250
  • or you are having challenges with,
  • 00:11:24.250 --> 00:11:26.190
  • how I can just pray about it and leave it alone.
  • 00:11:26.190 --> 00:11:30.100
  • There is something that I pray about you everyday.
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  • That you would be even tempered,
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  • that you would love me the way Christ loves the church,
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  • and that you would be affectionate towards me,
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  • that you would understand me.
  • 00:11:40.180 --> 00:11:41.230
  • These are things that I pray
  • 00:11:41.230 --> 00:11:43.190
  • and even when you are irritated with something that I do,
  • 00:11:43.190 --> 00:11:48.070
  • it would change your position on how you would treat me
  • 00:11:48.070 --> 00:11:53.070
  • and how you would feel.
  • 00:11:53.170 --> 00:11:54.210
  • - So, you're responsible for this change
  • 00:11:54.210 --> 00:11:56.010
  • that has taken place?
  • 00:11:56.010 --> 00:11:57.150
  • - Of course, I would like to say that you know women
  • 00:11:57.150 --> 00:12:00.100
  • - Pride
  • 00:12:00.100 --> 00:12:01.140
  • - Pride, pride, call it what you may
  • 00:12:01.140 --> 00:12:03.040
  • - How in God's name are you gonna take credit for that?
  • 00:12:03.040 --> 00:12:06.150
  • - However this transpired.
  • 00:12:07.140 --> 00:12:10.010
  • - Yeah, I'm not taking credit for that,
  • 00:12:10.010 --> 00:12:11.250
  • my whole point is this, it's like
  • 00:12:11.250 --> 00:12:14.000
  • you don't have to murmur and complain,
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  • you don't have to get worked up,
  • 00:12:17.110 --> 00:12:19.120
  • you don't have to loose it,
  • 00:12:19.160 --> 00:12:21.100
  • all you have to do is trust God through this whole process.
  • 00:12:21.100 --> 00:12:23.130
  • - And watch and pray that, yeah.
  • 00:12:23.130 --> 00:12:25.000
  • You know because, it's like I can pray about some things
  • 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:28.020
  • and I can leave it alone,
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  • walk away from it and allow God to minister to your heart.
  • 00:12:29.250 --> 00:12:33.060
  • So, regardless of how you got there
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  • - Right.
  • 00:12:35.260 --> 00:12:36.240
  • - You know, you've gotten there
  • 00:12:36.240 --> 00:12:38.130
  • and I wanted to use that as a point
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  • to say OK, we don't have to just loose it all the time
  • 00:12:40.160 --> 00:12:43.160
  • when we don't agree, or when we get on each others nerves
  • 00:12:43.160 --> 00:12:46.120
  • or when we do stuff that irritate each other.
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  • We can pray about it, leave it alone,
  • 00:12:49.280 --> 00:12:52.200
  • walk away from it and allow
  • 00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:54.100
  • Holy Spirit to do the work because ultimately
  • 00:12:54.100 --> 00:12:57.070
  • the Holy Spirit is the one.
  • 00:12:57.070 --> 00:12:58.120
  • - Well, if your prayers are that potent
  • 00:12:58.120 --> 00:13:01.100
  • and that powerful, why haven't you prayed about
  • 00:13:01.100 --> 00:13:05.170
  • not doing what you do to get on my nerves?
  • 00:13:05.170 --> 00:13:08.250
  • - Because
  • 00:13:08.250 --> 00:13:09.280
  • - We coulda reversed this two ways.
  • 00:13:09.280 --> 00:13:10.270
  • - Totally.
  • 00:13:10.270 --> 00:13:12.080
  • - God change his heart, no,
  • 00:13:12.080 --> 00:13:14.230
  • you pray about your own heart so that
  • 00:13:14.230 --> 00:13:19.230
  • you won't do the things you do
  • 00:13:20.020 --> 00:13:22.170
  • that were getting on my nerves.
  • 00:13:22.170 --> 00:13:24.090
  • - No, but it's not necessarily things that I was doing
  • 00:13:24.090 --> 00:13:27.100
  • that was getting on your nerves
  • 00:13:27.100 --> 00:13:28.270
  • it was the things that you expect to be done.
  • 00:13:28.270 --> 00:13:31.110
  • - And allowed.
  • 00:13:31.110 --> 00:13:32.070
  • - And allowed.
  • 00:13:32.070 --> 00:13:33.100
  • - Yeah
  • 00:13:33.100 --> 00:13:34.210
  • Because, just because somebody put the toothpaste
  • 00:13:34.210 --> 00:13:36.200
  • in a different spot doesn't mean that it was wrong
  • 00:13:36.200 --> 00:13:40.270
  • it was just that it irritated you
  • 00:13:40.270 --> 00:13:42.160
  • because that's not what you're accustomed too.
  • 00:13:42.160 --> 00:13:44.060
  • - And it's not my spot.
  • 00:13:44.060 --> 00:13:45.120
  • - And it's not your spot.
  • 00:13:45.120 --> 00:13:46.170
  • - Right.
  • 00:13:46.170 --> 00:13:47.220
  • - And so that's the whole pride thing
  • 00:13:47.220 --> 00:13:48.270
  • so it's like, OK, God let me just pray
  • 00:13:48.270 --> 00:13:51.160
  • that we can come together and get along
  • 00:13:51.160 --> 00:13:53.240
  • and have some type of agreement.
  • 00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:56.140
  • - And all you had to do was pray
  • 00:13:56.140 --> 00:13:58.230
  • for God to remind you to put the toothpaste in my spot.
  • 00:13:58.230 --> 00:14:01.100
  • - (laughing)
  • 00:14:01.100 --> 00:14:02.050
  • - (laughing)
  • 00:14:02.050 --> 00:14:03.170
  • - Well I don't know what got you there,
  • 00:14:03.170 --> 00:14:05.180
  • but I thank God that you're there.
  • 00:14:05.180 --> 00:14:07.190
  • - I am here.
  • 00:14:07.190 --> 00:14:08.170
  • - And you too can get there.
  • 00:14:08.170 --> 00:14:10.150
  • - Yeah, however you get there
  • 00:14:10.150 --> 00:14:11.270
  • whether you're praying about a situation
  • 00:14:11.270 --> 00:14:14.110
  • that your husband is doing
  • 00:14:14.110 --> 00:14:16.120
  • or you're praying about a situation for yourself.
  • 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:20.050
  • Just like she mentioned, prayer will assist you
  • 00:14:20.050 --> 00:14:24.230
  • in changing everything you need to have changed.
  • 00:14:24.230 --> 00:14:28.060
  • It's just amazing and your lives will never be the same.
  • 00:14:28.060 --> 00:14:31.190
  • - It takes the struggle out.
  • 00:14:31.190 --> 00:14:33.150
  • - That's how marriage is made easy.
  • 00:14:33.150 --> 00:14:35.060
  • You gotta get our book too, it'll bless your life.
  • 00:14:35.060 --> 00:14:37.070
  • Amen.
  • 00:14:37.070 --> 00:14:37.150
  • in our environment and not giving them
  • 00:14:44.140 --> 00:14:47.040
  • the same kind of love.
  • 00:14:47.040 --> 00:14:48.210
  • Come on speak up lady.
  • 00:14:49.250 --> 00:14:51.130
  • Cause we used to do that.
  • 00:14:52.100 --> 00:14:53.230
  • My mom used to get real upset sometimes
  • 00:14:53.270 --> 00:14:58.030
  • because I was always over your house
  • 00:14:58.030 --> 00:15:00.210
  • with your family doing family things, holidays.
  • 00:15:00.210 --> 00:15:03.290
  • - [DeeDee] Well my mama would say
  • 00:15:03.290 --> 00:15:06.160
  • "Okay go to Mrs. Freeman house.
  • 00:15:06.160 --> 00:15:08.120
  • "Y'all get on outta here."
  • 00:15:08.120 --> 00:15:09.260
  • - Well you didn't listen to your mother that much.
  • 00:15:09.260 --> 00:15:11.110
  • - [DeeDee] Yes I did.
  • 00:15:11.110 --> 00:15:12.140
  • - No, we felt that way as well.
  • 00:15:14.100 --> 00:15:18.000
  • And because I am believe in God
  • 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:21.010
  • for more family togetherness.
  • 00:15:21.010 --> 00:15:23.070
  • That's why we started going over there
  • 00:15:23.070 --> 00:15:25.110
  • at least two Sundays a month.
  • 00:15:25.200 --> 00:15:27.050
  • Like we alternate Sundays.
  • 00:15:27.050 --> 00:15:28.270
  • - I can't stand it but I understand.
  • 00:15:29.030 --> 00:15:31.010
  • - Right.
  • 00:15:31.030 --> 00:15:32.100
  • I was about to say cause you say go over there.
  • 00:15:32.100 --> 00:15:33.220
  • Then I'll be like "Well you know this their Sunday.
  • 00:15:33.220 --> 00:15:35.270
  • "What?!
  • 00:15:35.270 --> 00:15:36.240
  • "You just was with them!"
  • 00:15:36.240 --> 00:15:38.150
  • (everyone laughs)
  • 00:15:38.150 --> 00:15:41.030
  • But in doing that it has started to create
  • 00:15:48.210 --> 00:15:53.150
  • more family togetherness.
  • 00:15:54.270 --> 00:15:56.180
  • Like his mom is talking to me.
  • 00:15:56.180 --> 00:15:58.120
  • She smile when she see me now.
  • 00:15:58.140 --> 00:16:00.100
  • (audience laughs)
  • 00:16:00.100 --> 00:16:02.030
  • - Oh she was giving you some--
  • 00:16:02.030 --> 00:16:03.130
  • - [DeeDee] She's gonna see this show!
  • 00:16:03.130 --> 00:16:05.060
  • - No, she smile when she see me.
  • 00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:08.080
  • We play volleyball together Sunday.
  • 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:10.260
  • And I binged the ball at her head
  • 00:16:11.280 --> 00:16:13.250
  • cause she's very competitive.
  • 00:16:13.250 --> 00:16:15.230
  • Wait, let me rewind this in case she see.
  • 00:16:15.230 --> 00:16:18.110
  • - Yeah.
  • 00:16:18.110 --> 00:16:19.100
  • - She's competitive and so am I.
  • 00:16:20.160 --> 00:16:22.260
  • And she was on the opposing team and she.
  • 00:16:22.260 --> 00:16:25.070
  • Have you ever played something with somebody
  • 00:16:25.070 --> 00:16:27.170
  • who talks so much trash that you just,
  • 00:16:27.170 --> 00:16:30.150
  • you wanted to win with everything in you.
  • 00:16:30.250 --> 00:16:33.210
  • - That's that boys mother baby.
  • 00:16:33.210 --> 00:16:35.220
  • (audience laughs)
  • 00:16:35.220 --> 00:16:37.180
  • - [Britney] Listen, anybody can get it okay.
  • 00:16:37.180 --> 00:16:40.080
  • His nephew was over there one time.
  • 00:16:40.190 --> 00:16:42.240
  • His nephew and his mother and I'm like
  • 00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:44.210
  • "I'm coming for both of y'all."
  • 00:16:44.210 --> 00:16:46.140
  • But no we had a lot of fun.
  • 00:16:47.060 --> 00:16:48.170
  • She squatted down, she looked at me
  • 00:16:48.170 --> 00:16:51.020
  • and she's like "I got you."
  • 00:16:51.020 --> 00:16:52.050
  • She got me a couple of times.
  • 00:16:52.050 --> 00:16:53.110
  • I was on the floor and she kinda laughed.
  • 00:16:53.110 --> 00:16:55.090
  • And was like "Girl all I hear is excuses
  • 00:16:55.090 --> 00:16:57.060
  • "coming out your mouth."
  • 00:16:57.060 --> 00:16:58.230
  • (everyone laughs)
  • 00:16:58.230 --> 00:17:01.200
  • But it was fun, it was fun.
  • 00:17:03.010 --> 00:17:05.050
  • She beat me.
  • 00:17:05.050 --> 00:17:06.250
  • - She beat you?
  • 00:17:06.250 --> 00:17:07.240
  • - She won.
  • 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:08.270
  • Kevin was on her team.
  • 00:17:09.150 --> 00:17:11.020
  • He carried this.
  • 00:17:11.280 --> 00:17:13.070
  • I know right?
  • 00:17:13.130 --> 00:17:14.210
  • - Maybe he was taking it out on you in the game?
  • 00:17:14.210 --> 00:17:17.130
  • Because Kevin how do you feel? - [Britney] I know.
  • 00:17:17.230 --> 00:17:19.080
  • - [Pastor] I mean cause you are always over at our place.
  • 00:17:19.080 --> 00:17:23.210
  • There's some balance now being implemented.
  • 00:17:23.210 --> 00:17:26.170
  • But did you feel like she always wanted to do things
  • 00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:30.190
  • for her family and never yours?
  • 00:17:30.190 --> 00:17:32.200
  • Did that ever create an issue?
  • 00:17:32.200 --> 00:17:34.200
  • - No, cause I kinda felt like how,
  • 00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:38.100
  • well I wouldn't say how she did but I wanted
  • 00:17:38.100 --> 00:17:41.030
  • to be over at your guys house because, no.
  • 00:17:41.030 --> 00:17:44.040
  • (audience laughs)
  • 00:17:44.040 --> 00:17:46.110
  • - [Pastor] I got ya, I got ya.
  • 00:17:48.020 --> 00:17:49.140
  • I'm gonna hook you up. - [Kevin] I mean because,
  • 00:17:49.140 --> 00:17:50.190
  • - [Kevin] you know, in the (mumbles).
  • 00:17:50.190 --> 00:17:52.030
  • Because in the beginning things did not transpire
  • 00:17:53.210 --> 00:17:56.060
  • with my family as smoothly as we would've liked
  • 00:17:56.060 --> 00:17:59.190
  • for it to have happened.
  • 00:17:59.190 --> 00:18:02.060
  • So I took the position, "Okay you don't like her,
  • 00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:05.230
  • "you don't like me."
  • 00:18:05.230 --> 00:18:07.000
  • And so I'm rolling with it you know.
  • 00:18:07.100 --> 00:18:08.270
  • - Your family didn't like Britney?
  • 00:18:08.270 --> 00:18:10.230
  • - I wouldn't say didn't like, just.
  • 00:18:11.190 --> 00:18:13.170
  • (audience and DeeDee laugh)
  • 00:18:13.170 --> 00:18:16.170
  • That's such a strong term - [Pastor] Did you know
  • 00:18:16.280 --> 00:18:18.140
  • to use and you know. - [Pastor] about that?
  • 00:18:18.140 --> 00:18:19.270
  • - [DeeDee] Yeah, you knew.
  • 00:18:19.270 --> 00:18:20.290
  • - I didn't know nothing--
  • 00:18:20.290 --> 00:18:22.000
  • - [DeeDee] Yes you did.
  • 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:22.230
  • - I did not know--
  • 00:18:22.230 --> 00:18:23.170
  • - It was new to them.
  • 00:18:23.170 --> 00:18:24.270
  • And you know being--
  • 00:18:24.270 --> 00:18:26.040
  • - Are you the baby boy?
  • 00:18:26.040 --> 00:18:27.170
  • - No, I'm the oldest boy. - [DeeDee] No, but he's
  • 00:18:27.170 --> 00:18:28.150
  • - [DeeDee] like the one that--
  • 00:18:28.150 --> 00:18:30.110
  • - But I was like the golden child to them if you will.
  • 00:18:30.110 --> 00:18:32.130
  • And so--
  • 00:18:32.130 --> 00:18:33.100
  • - You are a little light.
  • 00:18:33.100 --> 00:18:34.130
  • (audience laughs)
  • 00:18:34.130 --> 00:18:36.230
  • - [DeeDee] This is how it goes in our family meetings.
  • 00:18:41.020 --> 00:18:44.000
  • - I got a tan, I'm just saying, y'all can't tell.
  • 00:18:45.090 --> 00:18:47.070
  • - Welcome to the family meeting Tim.
  • 00:18:47.070 --> 00:18:48.200
  • - [Brelyn] Tan?!
  • 00:18:48.220 --> 00:18:50.000
  • - [Kevin] Come on man, look at me (mumbles).
  • 00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:50.290
  • - [Brelyn] No. - [Kevin] No oh.
  • 00:18:50.290 --> 00:18:52.060
  • - [Kevin] So it kind of pushed me away a bit.
  • 00:18:53.040 --> 00:18:56.190
  • Being that they did not, - [Pastor] Wow.
  • 00:18:56.190 --> 00:18:59.020
  • - [Kevin] immediately accept the relationship
  • 00:18:59.070 --> 00:19:00.260
  • that I decided to be in.
  • 00:19:00.260 --> 00:19:02.070
  • But, like Britney said we worked on some things
  • 00:19:03.110 --> 00:19:06.070
  • and we noticed the trend that was happening
  • 00:19:06.070 --> 00:19:08.120
  • in conversations with my parents and even my siblings.
  • 00:19:08.120 --> 00:19:12.040
  • They would drop hints and things.
  • 00:19:12.040 --> 00:19:14.200
  • Let me know like "Okay we don't see you that much."
  • 00:19:14.200 --> 00:19:17.190
  • And they would take it out in frustration
  • 00:19:17.190 --> 00:19:19.160
  • but they were really hurting.
  • 00:19:19.160 --> 00:19:20.270
  • And so. - [Pastor] Wow.
  • 00:19:21.090 --> 00:19:22.170
  • - [Kevin] And it hurt me cause that's my family.
  • 00:19:23.040 --> 00:19:24.270
  • - [Pastor] Absolutely.
  • 00:19:24.270 --> 00:19:26.030
  • - And so I've always wanted them to like her.
  • 00:19:26.030 --> 00:19:29.230
  • And so once they would've jumped on board
  • 00:19:29.230 --> 00:19:32.240
  • and build a relationship with her.
  • 00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:34.250
  • Then the next one jumped on board
  • 00:19:34.250 --> 00:19:36.020
  • and they built a relationship.
  • 00:19:36.020 --> 00:19:37.070
  • So it was like my parents, like okay.
  • 00:19:37.070 --> 00:19:39.060
  • And so we just started to go over there more.
  • 00:19:39.250 --> 00:19:41.250
  • - [Pastor] I love it.
  • 00:19:41.250 --> 00:19:43.070
  • - I started to call them more and talk to them more.
  • 00:19:43.070 --> 00:19:44.120
  • - Because you identified what was going on.
  • 00:19:44.120 --> 00:19:46.130
  • - Yes, yes.
  • 00:19:46.130 --> 00:19:47.160
  • - And you made the adjustments.
  • 00:19:47.160 --> 00:19:48.200
  • - Absolutely.
  • 00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:49.140
  • - I would like to say--
  • 00:19:49.140 --> 00:19:50.070
  • - Go ahead sweetie.
  • 00:19:50.070 --> 00:19:51.010
  • - Because let me see.
  • 00:19:51.010 --> 00:19:52.030
  • Sorry, I'm gonna let you talk.
  • 00:19:52.030 --> 00:19:53.210
  • I was at first waiting on them to reach out to me.
  • 00:19:54.200 --> 00:19:58.250
  • - [Pastor] Wow!
  • 00:19:58.250 --> 00:20:00.030
  • - But then it was kind of like "I want this,
  • 00:20:00.030 --> 00:20:02.170
  • "I want this family.
  • 00:20:02.170 --> 00:20:03.220
  • "You know this means the world to him.
  • 00:20:03.220 --> 00:20:06.190
  • "I want my kids to know."
  • 00:20:06.190 --> 00:20:08.080
  • So I started going after them.
  • 00:20:08.260 --> 00:20:10.210
  • And I would send his mom pictures or send her texts.
  • 00:20:10.210 --> 00:20:15.020
  • Reach out to her. - [Pastor] What did you,
  • 00:20:15.020 --> 00:20:16.090
  • - [Pastor] say that again, say that again.
  • 00:20:16.090 --> 00:20:17.230
  • You started going?
  • 00:20:18.020 --> 00:20:20.010
  • - After them.
  • 00:20:20.180 --> 00:20:21.260
  • Mmm hmm, I started going after them.
  • 00:20:22.030 --> 00:20:23.080
  • - One more time.
  • 00:20:23.080 --> 00:20:24.060
  • - I started going after them.
  • 00:20:24.060 --> 00:20:25.290
  • - Cause you could've said, "Oh they don't like me I ain't."
  • 00:20:25.290 --> 00:20:29.120
  • - Yup.
  • 00:20:30.150 --> 00:20:31.090
  • - But you started to.
  • 00:20:31.090 --> 00:20:32.150
  • - I started to go after them.
  • 00:20:33.130 --> 00:20:34.270
  • Cause I mean it hurt me at first cause I had never been.
  • 00:20:34.270 --> 00:20:38.220
  • I mean my family is so like. - [Pastor] We ain't used
  • 00:20:38.290 --> 00:20:40.130
  • - [Pastor] to that, right, absolutely.
  • 00:20:40.130 --> 00:20:42.040
  • - All of the in-laws.
  • 00:20:42.040 --> 00:20:43.100
  • So when I experienced it I was like
  • 00:20:43.100 --> 00:20:45.150
  • "I only see this on TV."
  • 00:20:45.150 --> 00:20:47.100
  • Like what's wrong with these people, people like me.
  • 00:20:48.080 --> 00:20:50.220
  • - Cause you're used to family.
  • 00:20:53.120 --> 00:20:54.200
  • - Right.
  • 00:20:54.200 --> 00:20:55.250
  • - And if you get out of your flow,
  • 00:20:55.250 --> 00:20:56.190
  • you select someone from
  • 00:20:56.190 --> 00:20:59.060
  • a family that isn't that.
  • 00:20:59.060 --> 00:21:02.040
  • - [DeeDee] But it wasn't even about Britney.
  • 00:21:02.280 --> 00:21:05.050
  • - I was about to say I hadn't realized
  • 00:21:05.050 --> 00:21:06.160
  • it wasn't about me. - [DeeDee] It would've been
  • 00:21:06.160 --> 00:21:07.210
  • - [DeeDee] like that with anybody.
  • 00:21:07.210 --> 00:21:08.130
  • - Oh absolutely.
  • 00:21:08.130 --> 00:21:09.230
  • - [DeeDee] Right, because they wanted Kevin.
  • 00:21:09.230 --> 00:21:11.170
  • They wanted Kevin around.
  • 00:21:11.170 --> 00:21:12.280
  • They wanted Kevin involved in different things.
  • 00:21:12.280 --> 00:21:15.030
  • And Britney was just, you know,
  • 00:21:15.030 --> 00:21:16.270
  • the object of their you know.
  • 00:21:16.270 --> 00:21:19.280
  • - They thought I was
  • 00:21:20.180 --> 00:21:21.270
  • taking him away. - [DeeDee] That face that
  • 00:21:21.270 --> 00:21:23.010
  • - [DeeDee] was taking him away yeah.
  • 00:21:23.010 --> 00:21:24.080
  • - Right, and so after I got passed myself,
  • 00:21:24.100 --> 00:21:28.040
  • I was like okay.
  • 00:21:29.080 --> 00:21:30.250
  • - You know that's the prerequisite of following Christ?
  • 00:21:30.250 --> 00:21:33.180
  • Get past yourself.
  • 00:21:35.070 --> 00:21:36.210
  • It's so powerful for you to deny yourself.
  • 00:21:38.190 --> 00:21:43.130
  • That's how you follow Christ.
  • 00:21:44.090 --> 00:21:45.250
  • Get past yourself.
  • 00:21:45.250 --> 00:21:47.130
  • And the minute you did that,
  • 00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.070
  • look what is being established.
  • 00:21:49.070 --> 00:21:51.030
  • - Yeah, and it's fun we really have a good time.
  • 00:21:51.030 --> 00:21:53.050
  • - Isn't it fun?
  • 00:21:53.050 --> 00:21:54.110
  • - Yeah, we really have a good time.
  • 00:21:54.110 --> 00:21:56.040
  • - It's so much better when families are together.
  • 00:21:56.040 --> 00:22:00.120
  • - Yes, cause I love that his mom will go out
  • 00:22:00.120 --> 00:22:02.230
  • and play baseball and stuff.
  • 00:22:02.230 --> 00:22:04.150
  • Where she's like still really sporty.
  • 00:22:04.150 --> 00:22:06.150
  • So for her, I love that kind of stuff.
  • 00:22:06.150 --> 00:22:08.290
  • I'm like we playing out here together,
  • 00:22:08.290 --> 00:22:10.180
  • the girls are riding on the lawnmower with his dad.
  • 00:22:10.180 --> 00:22:13.080
  • Although I was like "You better not tear my baby's."
  • 00:22:13.080 --> 00:22:16.090
  • But it was fun.
  • 00:22:16.230 --> 00:22:18.100
  • I mean and I love it.
  • 00:22:19.010 --> 00:22:21.060
  • So I'm happy that. - [Pastor] It's come a
  • 00:22:21.130 --> 00:22:23.070
  • - [Pastor] long way huh?
  • 00:22:23.070 --> 00:22:24.090
  • - A long way.
  • 00:22:24.090 --> 00:22:25.020
  • - But you did that.
  • 00:22:25.020 --> 00:22:26.080
  • Huh, you did that.
  • 00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:29.270
  • People will say, "Look what God has done."
  • 00:22:30.100 --> 00:22:31.230
  • God has already done everything he's gonna do.
  • 00:22:31.230 --> 00:22:35.040
  • And let me let you in on another bit of information.
  • 00:22:35.040 --> 00:22:38.000
  • Time has not been given the authority to heal anything.
  • 00:22:38.110 --> 00:22:42.220
  • "Well we just need to give it time."
  • 00:22:47.180 --> 00:22:49.080
  • Where'd you get that from?
  • 00:22:49.080 --> 00:22:50.230
  • Time has never been given the authority to heal anything.
  • 00:22:53.190 --> 00:22:56.280
  • "We just need to take some time."
  • 00:22:56.280 --> 00:22:58.110
  • It doesn't take time, it takes a choice.
  • 00:22:58.110 --> 00:23:00.290
  • It takes a choice for you to exercise the authority
  • 00:23:01.170 --> 00:23:05.030
  • that you possess in Christ Jesus.
  • 00:23:05.030 --> 00:23:07.230
  • "Oh they just need a little time."
  • 00:23:07.230 --> 00:23:09.060
  • Or "He just needs a little time."
  • 00:23:09.060 --> 00:23:10.270
  • Now there is some wisdom and balance in timing,
  • 00:23:10.270 --> 00:23:14.200
  • but it doesn't take time.
  • 00:23:14.200 --> 00:23:16.120
  • It took all this time.
  • 00:23:17.010 --> 00:23:18.150
  • Dr. I.V. Hilliard and I are connected, it took all that time
  • 00:23:18.150 --> 00:23:22.090
  • when it could've been done a long time ago
  • 00:23:22.090 --> 00:23:24.210
  • if in fact both of us would've made a mutual choice.
  • 00:23:24.210 --> 00:23:28.170
  • And all we had to do was both decide.
  • 00:23:29.280 --> 00:23:32.230
  • In spite of the differences that we have encountered
  • 00:23:32.230 --> 00:23:36.050
  • with one another.
  • 00:23:36.050 --> 00:23:37.200
  • In spite of the differences you encounter with each other.
  • 00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:41.060
  • It doesn't take time, it takes two spirit filled,
  • 00:23:41.060 --> 00:23:43.230
  • mature individuals who can come together,
  • 00:23:43.230 --> 00:23:46.130
  • who are saturated in the love of God
  • 00:23:46.130 --> 00:23:49.120
  • that's willing to overcome evil with good
  • 00:23:49.120 --> 00:23:52.060
  • and get on with the business of the Body of Christ.
  • 00:23:52.060 --> 00:23:55.100
  • - [DeeDee] Amen.
  • 00:23:55.100 --> 00:23:56.070
  • - Did I say something good?
  • 00:23:56.140 --> 00:23:58.130
  • Well treat me like you do DeeDee.
  • 00:23:58.220 --> 00:24:00.230
  • (audience applauds and cheers)
  • 00:24:00.230 --> 00:24:02.280
  • - [DeeDee] Asked us down here,
  • 00:24:06.160 --> 00:24:08.000
  • - [DeeDee and Pastor] what's the most important lesson
  • 00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:09.180
  • - [Pastor] you have learned from watching
  • 00:24:09.180 --> 00:24:10.230
  • your parents marriage?
  • 00:24:10.230 --> 00:24:12.070
  • - [Audience member] Everybody got an answer.
  • 00:24:15.070 --> 00:24:16.180
  • - [DeeDee and Pastor] Everybody got an answer.
  • 00:24:16.180 --> 00:24:18.130
  • - [Pastor] Okay. - [DeeDee] They should.
  • 00:24:18.130 --> 00:24:19.170
  • - [DeeDee] I think.
  • 00:24:19.170 --> 00:24:20.240
  • - [Male audience member] Start with Josh first.
  • 00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:21.240
  • - Huh? (audience laughs)
  • 00:24:21.240 --> 00:24:22.180
  • Start with Josh.
  • 00:24:23.080 --> 00:24:24.220
  • Josh the people love you. - [DeeDee] Keep your mike on.
  • 00:24:25.170 --> 00:24:27.240
  • - [Pastor] And then we're gonna open the floor up
  • 00:24:28.140 --> 00:24:30.000
  • for any questions that you may have cause--
  • 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:32.010
  • - Man, I still need to.
  • 00:24:32.010 --> 00:24:34.050
  • Can y'all hear me?
  • 00:24:34.110 --> 00:24:35.160
  • - [Pastor] No, just get a microphone.
  • 00:24:35.160 --> 00:24:36.270
  • - Oh there it go.
  • 00:24:37.030 --> 00:24:38.030
  • I still kinda need to think.
  • 00:24:39.070 --> 00:24:40.130
  • It's a lot of stuff.
  • 00:24:40.130 --> 00:24:42.220
  • I mean it's--
  • 00:24:44.240 --> 00:24:46.090
  • - [DeeDee] I know, cause they didn't know their question.
  • 00:24:46.090 --> 00:24:47.140
  • - [Pastor] The most important lesson.
  • 00:24:47.140 --> 00:24:48.260
  • - [DeeDee] Yeah.
  • 00:24:48.260 --> 00:24:50.010
  • - At this point. - [DeeDee] It's a lot.
  • 00:24:50.280 --> 00:24:52.060
  • - [Pastor] I mean I know there's so many.
  • 00:24:52.060 --> 00:24:53.150
  • I've taught you a lot of most important lessons.
  • 00:24:53.150 --> 00:24:57.070
  • - Are you ready, are y'all ready?
  • 00:24:57.180 --> 00:24:58.270
  • Britney's ready. - [Joshua] And it's not even
  • 00:24:58.270 --> 00:25:00.100
  • She could come back. - [Joshua] so many important
  • 00:25:00.100 --> 00:25:01.240
  • - [Joshua] lessons that they have said out their mouth,
  • 00:25:01.240 --> 00:25:03.070
  • but just how they say more is caught than taught.
  • 00:25:03.070 --> 00:25:05.140
  • Like stuff that you see, you know what to do,
  • 00:25:05.140 --> 00:25:08.170
  • what not to do.
  • 00:25:08.170 --> 00:25:10.010
  • You know, if they didn't tie their shoe when they fell
  • 00:25:10.010 --> 00:25:12.080
  • then that means that you need to tie your
  • 00:25:12.080 --> 00:25:13.130
  • shoes so you don't fall.
  • 00:25:13.130 --> 00:25:14.190
  • You know, stuff like that.
  • 00:25:14.190 --> 00:25:16.020
  • But other than that I can't really think of one thing
  • 00:25:16.020 --> 00:25:21.020
  • that you have like really said to me,
  • 00:25:21.040 --> 00:25:24.150
  • that kind of stuff with me.
  • 00:25:24.150 --> 00:25:25.290
  • - [DeeDee] Okay, what one thing you may have caught?
  • 00:25:25.290 --> 00:25:27.250
  • - [Pastor] That's really relevant or significant
  • 00:25:29.150 --> 00:25:31.210
  • to you in your relationship marriage.
  • 00:25:31.250 --> 00:25:33.180
  • - My biggest thing is--
  • 00:25:33.180 --> 00:25:36.090
  • - It had to come from my side.
  • 00:25:36.090 --> 00:25:37.190
  • You've noticed that - [Joshua] Is to stay calm.
  • 00:25:37.190 --> 00:25:38.240
  • - [Pastor] I've done a lot of things.
  • 00:25:38.240 --> 00:25:40.210
  • - Yeah yeah, I mean but my biggest thing is to stay calm.
  • 00:25:41.190 --> 00:25:44.190
  • Like I've always seen--
  • 00:25:44.190 --> 00:25:46.130
  • - [Pastor] Like your father.
  • 00:25:46.130 --> 00:25:47.130
  • (audience laughs)
  • 00:25:47.130 --> 00:25:49.290
  • - Now.
  • 00:25:51.280 --> 00:25:52.280
  • - [DeeDee and Pastor] Now.
  • 00:25:53.170 --> 00:25:54.140
  • (Audience and Pastor laugh)
  • 00:25:54.140 --> 00:25:55.160
  • - But then I mean you know,
  • 00:25:55.160 --> 00:25:57.190
  • back in the day.
  • 00:25:57.190 --> 00:26:00.050
  • You know he is a spaz artist.
  • 00:26:00.280 --> 00:26:02.200
  • You know what I'm saying?
  • 00:26:02.200 --> 00:26:03.180
  • Like any little thing man.
  • 00:26:03.180 --> 00:26:06.060
  • It can go from zero to 100 real quick.
  • 00:26:06.060 --> 00:26:08.290
  • - In zero seconds.
  • 00:26:08.290 --> 00:26:10.150
  • - In zero seconds.
  • 00:26:11.110 --> 00:26:12.180
  • So I've seen a lot of those traits in me
  • 00:26:12.180 --> 00:26:16.140
  • where I kind of just pop off or just go off.
  • 00:26:16.140 --> 00:26:19.150
  • And I think that's like my biggest thing
  • 00:26:19.150 --> 00:26:22.030
  • to like relax, just to calm down, kinda breathe.
  • 00:26:22.030 --> 00:26:25.070
  • Make marriage easy.
  • 00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:32.030
  • - [Voiceover] Thank you for viewing Marriage Made Easy.
  • 00:26:32.260 --> 00:26:34.150
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  • I don't think it's always bad, because sometimes people
  • 00:26:44.250 --> 00:26:48.110
  • just have to really understand
  • 00:26:48.110 --> 00:26:50.010
  • how you feel about a certain thing.
  • 00:26:50.010 --> 00:26:51.190
  • But you shouldn't just spaz for no reason.
  • 00:26:51.190 --> 00:26:54.260
  • You shouldn't just trip out for no reason.
  • 00:26:54.260 --> 00:26:56.190
  • Like my dad used to just trip out for no reason.
  • 00:26:56.190 --> 00:26:59.180
  • So I had to kinda and I (audience laughs)
  • 00:26:59.290 --> 00:27:02.280
  • would watch (laughs). (DeeDee laughs loudly)
  • 00:27:02.280 --> 00:27:04.150
  • - [DeeDee] Cut his Mike.
  • 00:27:04.150 --> 00:27:05.200
  • - You don't know which mike I got.
  • 00:27:06.180 --> 00:27:08.090
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