Family Camp: Family Foundation | TBN

Family Camp: Family Foundation

Watch Family Camp: Family Foundation
October 6, 2019
27:34

Kerry Shook Ministries with Kerry Shook

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Family Camp: Family Foundation

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  • Kerr
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  • Kerry
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  • Kerry Sh
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  • Kerry Shoo
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  • Kerry Shook:
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  • Kerry Shook: G
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  • Kerry Shook: God
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  • Kerry Shook: God's
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  • Kerry Shook: God's w
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wis
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdo
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom bu
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom buil
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds h
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds hea
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds healt
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds healthy
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds healthy r
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds healthy rel
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds healthy relat
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds healthy relatio
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds healthy relations
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds healthy relationshi
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  • Kerry Shook: God's wisdom builds healthy relationships
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  • that last while human wisdom tears apart relationships.
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  • CC by Aberdeen Captioning 1-800-688-6621 www.abercap.com
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  • Kerry: Hey, Woodlands Church.
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  • We're concluding the series "Family Camp"
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  • that we've been in.
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  • We've sort of been camping out over the last several weeks on
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  • the subject of how to build true connection with the
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  • people closest to you.
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  • And if you're going to build anything in this life that's
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  • going to last, it has to begin with a solid foundation.
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  • I mean, can you imagine a home builder saying to you,
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  • "Hey, I think we can save you a whole lot of money if you let us
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  • build your house without a foundation.
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  • We can start right away with the framing.
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  • I mean, the foundation is not very much important.
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  • We'll save you a ton of money if we build this
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  • house without a foundation."
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  • That'd be ridiculous.
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  • But it seems when it comes to our closest relationships,
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  • we forget the only way to build anything that's going to last is
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  • you have to have a solid foundation.
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  • So what is the foundation for a strong family?
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  • What is the foundation for a lasting love relationship?
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  • Proverbs 24:3 tells us homes are built on the foundation of
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  • wisdom and understanding.
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  • So if you want to turn your house into a home,
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  • if you want to build a close family,
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  • if you want to build a marriage that last,
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  • if you want to build a business that last,
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  • the Bible says it takes a foundation of wisdom.
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  • So I want you to turn to James chapter 3 because in the book of
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  • James chapter 3, it tells us what wisdom is and what wisdom
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  • isn't, and how to build your relationships on the foundation
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  • of wisdom and keep building with wisdom.
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  • And so would you stand in honor of God's Word,
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  • Woodlands Church, and just follow along with me?
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  • I'm going to read James chapter 3,
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  • beginning with verse 13.
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  • "Who is wise and understanding among you?
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  • Let them show it by their good life,
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  • by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.
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  • But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your
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  • hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.
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  • Such wisdom does not come down from heaven but is earthly,
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  • unspiritual, demonic.
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  • For where you have envy and selfish ambition,
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  • there you find disorder and every evil practice;
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  • but the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure,
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  • then peace-loving, considerate, submissive,
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  • full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
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  • Peacemakers who sow in peace reap
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  • a harvest of righteousness."
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  • You can be seated.
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  • And in this passage, James tells us that wisdom is such
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  • a powerful thing in building relationships.
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  • It's the only foundation you can build a relationship on if you
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  • want it to last, and he tells us here what wisdom is and how it
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  • differs from human wisdom.
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  • See, wisdom that comes from heaven is God's wisdom.
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  • Wisdom that comes from earth is human wisdom,
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  • and James tells us human wisdom is really our natural reactions
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  • in relationships.
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  • It's our natural way of relating and it's destructive.
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  • But God's wisdom is our supernatural reactions in
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  • relationships and it only comes from God's power,
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  • and James makes it really clear that God's wisdom builds healthy
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  • relationships that last while human wisdom tears
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  • apart relationships.
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  • That is if I'm unwise towards my wife, it causes problems.
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  • If I'm unwise toward my children, it causes problems.
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  • If I'm unwise toward the people I work with,
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  • it causes problems; and most of the relationship problems in our
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  • culture today are caused by unwise choices and actions.
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  • Now in James 3:17, the verse we're really going to focus on
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  • today, it makes it really clear that wisdom is a lifestyle.
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  • It's not so much about what you know,
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  • it's about your actions that come out of your values.
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  • It's not so much about your intellect,
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  • it's about your character and your choices.
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  • It's the way that you relate to people.
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  • And so in James 3:17, it says there are six character choices
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  • that we have to make each and every day to build a foundation
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  • of wisdom and keep building on wisdom in our relationships,
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  • and it's all found in this one verse.
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  • Now, I told you when we started this series that most people
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  • when they go into a marriage relationship,
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  • think everything is perfect, when they start a family,
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  • everything is perfect, and then a few years down the road after
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  • a lot of mistakes and pain and hurt,
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  • they think everything went wrong.
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  • That it started perfect, they were so in love,
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  • and a few years later it turned bad.
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  • I mean, it starts perfect and then it goes bad over time,
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  • and that's a completely wrong interpretation of
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  • how marriage starts out.
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  • And I told you that marriage never starts perfect because it
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  • involves two very imperfect, very flawed people coming
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  • together to share everything.
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  • And so you're more of a mess than you can ever imagine and
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  • your spouse is more of a mess than they can ever imagine,
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  • and you put that together and so it starts out
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  • definitely not perfect.
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  • So it doesn't start perfect and then go bad over time.
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  • It starts a mess. That's the way it starts.
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  • And if you realize that, then you have a chance
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  • with God's power.
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  • Now, the other day I was looking through our garage and were
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  • organizing a little bit and I found this big box of Legos.
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  • See, when my kids were growing up,
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  • they all liked Legos and they would collect Legos,
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  • and this was a big box of all the extra Legos,
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  • you know, that weren't in any particular set;
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  • or maybe after they put together a particular set like a Star
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  • Wars, Death Star, or Millennium Falcon,
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  • they had four or five pieces left over and
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  • it would go into that box.
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  • It's like, "I don't know where those pieces go," and they throw
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  • it in the box and the box just kept collecting Legos over time,
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  • and we call that our box of misfit pieces.
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  • It was just all these different random pieces and,
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  • you know, wheels and, you know, blocks and all these things,
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  • Legos, and it filled up.
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  • It was a huge box of Legos.
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  • And our kids when they're growing up started playing with
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  • the Legos in the box and they enjoyed the box of misfit pieces
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  • more than they enjoyed those sets that you can buy because
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  • they could be more creative and build whatever they want,
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  • and they would really get into it and build these huge things,
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  • you know, and then the tear apart and throw it
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  • back in the box.
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  • Now, I have up here some Legos.
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  • These are the Duplos, the bigger ones so that you can see them.
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  • And so let's go back to marriage and starting families that when
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  • you come into the marriage relationship,
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  • we all bring a big box of misfit and broken pieces
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  • to the relationship.
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  • We try to hide it at first, and in marriage
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  • you can't hide it for very long.
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  • Eventually, all the broken pieces fall out on the table.
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  • You can hide it in other relationships for a lot longer,
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  • but eventually the real you comes out in the marriage
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  • relationship and all the broken pieces are all out there and all
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  • the brokenness and mistakes and the flaws
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  • and the mess is revealed.
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  • And so what you really need to do to have a good perspective is
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  • right before you get married, just come together and just dump
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  • all the pieces, just dump all the pieces out on the table
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  • where you both just dump all the brokenness out on the table.
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  • You just reveal it all and you just admit it all,
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  • and then you look at it and you realize what a mess you both are
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  • and then you make a choice.
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  • You choose one piece at a time together with God's power to
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  • build something beautiful out of it.
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  • female announcer: Still to come with Pastor Kerry Shook.
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  • Kerry: God loves you just the way you are,
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  • but he loves you too much to let you stay that way.
  • 00:08:19.050 --> 00:08:21.180
  • 00:08:21.190 --> 00:08:30.070
  • announcer: Kerry Shook Ministries is committed to
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  • sharing the gospel and providing the tools necessary for
  • 00:08:32.090 --> 00:08:35.000
  • believers to grow in their relationship with Jesus through
  • 00:08:35.010 --> 00:08:38.210
  • television, media, and creative resources.
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  • Now with social media, we have a great opportunity to join and
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  • encourage one another so that we can all grow in Christ together.
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  • We invite you to join us on Facebook,
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  • Instagram, and YouTube.
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  • We want to stay connected to you throughout your week,
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  • standing with you in times of need and celebrating
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  • with you in times of joy.
  • 00:09:02.150 --> 00:09:04.200
  • On these channels, you will find words of encouragement,
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  • learn of special events, enjoy inspiring messages,
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  • and you can send us your prayer requests,
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  • share praises, and help inspire others.
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  • Help us lift each other up and get connected today.
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  • Go to kerryshook.org or find us on Facebook,
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  • Instagram, and YouTube.
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  • Your participation will carry the light
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  • of Christ into the world.
  • 00:09:27.120 --> 00:09:29.220
  • Kerry: If we look at James 3:17,
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  • we see there six character choices,
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  • six building blocks that we build with to build lasting love
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  • relationships, and it's those choices we make each and every
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  • day to have wise actions or unwise actions.
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  • And so I want us to look at them.
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  • First, if I'm wise, I won't compromise my integrity.
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  • I'll live in truth. I'll live in truth.
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  • Look at James 3:17.
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  • It says, "The wisdom that comes from heaven
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  • is first of all pure."
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  • So that's the first thing.
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  • He's talking here about integrity.
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  • He says the wisdom from heaven is first of all pure.
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  • Now, what if I said to you I have some pure spring water?
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  • It's 95% pure.
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  • Now it's 5% sewage, but it's 95% pure.
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  • You would say, "There no such thing as 95% pure.
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  • It's got to be 100% or it's not pure at all."
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  • And that's the way integrity is.
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  • Integrity just means that you integrate your life
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  • together as a whole.
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  • The opposite of integrity is compartmentalizing your life.
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  • That you act one way with your church friends and one way
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  • with your work friends.
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  • That you compartmentalize your life.
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  • Now, I have to say that most of us guys are really good at
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  • compartmentalizing, and one of the reasons is God made us that
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  • way so that we could fight these great battles.
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  • You know, sometimes you got a lot of things going on and you
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  • got all these distractions, but you got to get out
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  • there and you got to fight.
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  • You got to put the armor on. You get beat up in this life.
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  • And so a lot of us guys are really good at
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  • compartmentalizing and just really focusing in,
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  • just eliminating all the distractions and really get into
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  • it, but it becomes a terrible problem.
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  • It's an asset and a great thing at times,
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  • but it becomes devastating in relationships when you take a
  • 00:11:13.110 --> 00:11:16.220
  • secret sin and you compartmentalize it.
  • 00:11:16.230 --> 00:11:19.000
  • And then you're able to operate in every area of your life just
  • 00:11:19.010 --> 00:11:21.270
  • fine, but you got this secret sin over here and it's all
  • 00:11:21.280 --> 00:11:24.040
  • compartmentalized often.
  • 00:11:24.050 --> 00:11:26.170
  • That's called a lack of integrity.
  • 00:11:26.180 --> 00:11:29.070
  • And so what God wants to do is just tear down all the walls and
  • 00:11:29.080 --> 00:11:31.000
  • the compartments and integrate your life as a whole
  • 00:11:31.010 --> 00:11:37.090
  • so that it's not 95%--5% sewage over here, you know.
  • 00:11:37.100 --> 00:11:42.030
  • That what you see is what you get that we're--all the walls
  • 00:11:42.040 --> 00:11:45.250
  • are torn down and we just say, "God, this is the way it is.
  • 00:11:45.260 --> 00:11:49.180
  • I need your healing and I need your wholeness."
  • 00:11:49.190 --> 00:11:52.280
  • And so integrity in life means you make wise
  • 00:11:52.290 --> 00:11:57.280
  • choices with the truth.
  • 00:11:57.290 --> 00:12:00.090
  • If I'm wise, I'm not going to lie to you.
  • 00:12:00.100 --> 00:12:02.170
  • If I'm wise, I'm not going to cheat you.
  • 00:12:02.180 --> 00:12:04.010
  • If I'm wise, I'm not going to try to take advantage of you.
  • 00:12:04.020 --> 00:12:06.040
  • If I'm wise, I'm not going to intentionally mislead you.
  • 00:12:06.050 --> 00:12:08.230
  • Now, why is this one the very first one?
  • 00:12:08.240 --> 00:12:10.260
  • Because all relationships are built on trust.
  • 00:12:10.270 --> 00:12:14.140
  • You cannot build a relationship close and deep that last without
  • 00:12:14.150 --> 00:12:19.030
  • trust, and you can't have trust without truth.
  • 00:12:19.040 --> 00:12:23.070
  • When you're unwise and you lie to your spouse,
  • 00:12:23.080 --> 00:12:25.280
  • you destroy truth.
  • 00:12:25.290 --> 00:12:27.280
  • Now, you can build truth back, you can build that trust back,
  • 00:12:27.290 --> 00:12:30.160
  • but the only way you do it is by telling the truth every day.
  • 00:12:30.170 --> 00:12:35.280
  • Every time you have an opportunity,
  • 00:12:35.290 --> 00:12:37.080
  • you tell the truth, the whole truth,
  • 00:12:37.090 --> 00:12:39.170
  • nothing but the truth so help you God.
  • 00:12:39.180 --> 00:12:41.240
  • Proverbs 10:9 says, "Whoever walks in integrity walks
  • 00:12:41.250 --> 00:12:45.110
  • securely, but whoever takes crooked paths
  • 00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:46.240
  • will be found out."
  • 00:12:46.250 --> 00:12:48.130
  • So if I'm wise, I'll live in the truth and I won't compromise
  • 00:12:48.140 --> 00:12:50.270
  • my integrity, but here's the problem.
  • 00:12:50.280 --> 00:12:52.170
  • Our natural reaction is to lie, to lie to protect our self,
  • 00:12:52.180 --> 00:12:55.250
  • to lie, "Oh, I don't want to hurt that other person."
  • 00:12:55.260 --> 00:12:59.050
  • To lie--we come up with a million different reasons
  • 00:12:59.060 --> 00:13:01.120
  • to lie when God says you just tell the truth.
  • 00:13:01.130 --> 00:13:06.120
  • We say, "Well, if I tell the truth,
  • 00:13:06.130 --> 00:13:07.220
  • I'll just destroy so much."
  • 00:13:07.230 --> 00:13:11.020
  • But really it's the only way you can build.
  • 00:13:11.030 --> 00:13:14.220
  • Otherwise, it's not real.
  • 00:13:14.230 --> 00:13:16.290
  • And then if I'm wise, I won't dismiss your feelings.
  • 00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:20.040
  • I'll value your feelings.
  • 00:13:20.050 --> 00:13:21.220
  • The next part of James 3:17, all in this one verse,
  • 00:13:21.230 --> 00:13:24.180
  • "The wisdom that comes from heaven is considerate."
  • 00:13:24.190 --> 00:13:27.050
  • Underline the word considerate because considerate just means
  • 00:13:27.060 --> 00:13:29.290
  • that you're mindful of other people's feelings,
  • 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:33.000
  • and one of the biggest mistakes I made with Chris was dismissing
  • 00:13:33.010 --> 00:13:38.150
  • her feelings so many times because in my unwise logic
  • 00:13:38.160 --> 00:13:41.180
  • I thought if she feels this way but I don't feel this way,
  • 00:13:41.190 --> 00:13:44.240
  • then she's wrong and she shouldn't feel this way.
  • 00:13:44.250 --> 00:13:47.240
  • But feelings aren't right and wrong.
  • 00:13:47.250 --> 00:13:50.150
  • They're just feelings.
  • 00:13:50.160 --> 00:13:52.130
  • It's not right and wrong, and the wise person won't
  • 00:13:52.140 --> 00:13:55.250
  • dismiss another's feelings.
  • 00:13:55.260 --> 00:13:58.010
  • They'll seek to understand why they feel that way instead
  • 00:13:58.020 --> 00:14:00.110
  • of saying, "Well, I don't feel that way.
  • 00:14:00.120 --> 00:14:01.250
  • So you shouldn't feel that way."
  • 00:14:01.260 --> 00:14:03.180
  • Never say, "You shouldn't feel that way."
  • 00:14:03.190 --> 00:14:06.150
  • That's destructive. I did it all the time.
  • 00:14:06.160 --> 00:14:09.260
  • "You shouldn't feel that way because I don't feel that way.
  • 00:14:09.270 --> 00:14:11.180
  • That's not right. You're wrong."
  • 00:14:11.190 --> 00:14:13.150
  • Feelings aren't right and wrong.
  • 00:14:13.160 --> 00:14:15.190
  • Some of you in this auditorium right now or in our Atascocita
  • 00:14:15.200 --> 00:14:18.180
  • auditorium, our Northpointe auditorium feel cold right now
  • 00:14:18.190 --> 00:14:21.140
  • and others are feeling hot right now,
  • 00:14:21.150 --> 00:14:23.030
  • and it has nothing to do with right or wrong.
  • 00:14:23.040 --> 00:14:25.140
  • It's just your body temperature.
  • 00:14:25.150 --> 00:14:27.000
  • Our body temperatures are all different.
  • 00:14:27.010 --> 00:14:28.120
  • So it's not right or wrong.
  • 00:14:28.130 --> 00:14:30.190
  • It's just the way you feel.
  • 00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:32.230
  • So it's not right or wrong.
  • 00:14:32.240 --> 00:14:34.030
  • You're just trying to understand their feelings.
  • 00:14:34.040 --> 00:14:35.140
  • Their feelings are their feelings.
  • 00:14:35.150 --> 00:14:37.180
  • Now, there is right and wrong and there is one truth
  • 00:14:37.190 --> 00:14:42.030
  • and it's God's truth.
  • 00:14:42.040 --> 00:14:43.130
  • It always bothers me when people today say,
  • 00:14:43.140 --> 00:14:44.230
  • "Well, I'm just living my truth.
  • 00:14:44.240 --> 00:14:47.010
  • I'm living my truth."
  • 00:14:47.020 --> 00:14:49.000
  • You know, when people say that to me,
  • 00:14:49.010 --> 00:14:50.100
  • I go, "I want to punch you in the face 'cause
  • 00:14:50.110 --> 00:14:51.200
  • that's my truth."
  • 00:14:51.210 --> 00:14:53.200
  • I'm going to live out my truth.
  • 00:14:53.210 --> 00:14:55.270
  • I mean, it's really dumb. "I'm living my truth."
  • 00:14:55.280 --> 00:14:58.140
  • No, there's just one truth and it's God's truth,
  • 00:14:58.150 --> 00:14:59.290
  • but it's not about our feelings.
  • 00:15:00.020 --> 00:15:02.120
  • That's not what he's talking about.
  • 00:15:02.130 --> 00:15:05.140
  • Our feelings are just our feelings.
  • 00:15:05.150 --> 00:15:07.270
  • Now, sometimes you have to choose against your feelings to
  • 00:15:07.280 --> 00:15:10.210
  • follow God's truth, but the only way that you can get close in a
  • 00:15:10.220 --> 00:15:15.080
  • relationship is share your true feelings whatever they are,
  • 00:15:15.090 --> 00:15:18.040
  • good, bad, and ugly, and then you seek to understand each
  • 00:15:18.050 --> 00:15:21.040
  • other and why you feel that way.
  • 00:15:21.050 --> 00:15:23.240
  • That's the only way.
  • 00:15:23.250 --> 00:15:25.170
  • It's wise to try to understand and be understanding of
  • 00:15:25.180 --> 00:15:29.250
  • someone else's feelings.
  • 00:15:29.260 --> 00:15:32.060
  • It's unwise and tears down when you say,
  • 00:15:32.070 --> 00:15:35.120
  • "You shouldn't feel that way."
  • 00:15:35.130 --> 00:15:37.130
  • Well, the fourth thing, if I'm wise, I won't be stubborn.
  • 00:15:37.140 --> 00:15:40.090
  • I'll be constantly growing.
  • 00:15:40.100 --> 00:15:42.120
  • Again in this one verse, James 3:17,
  • 00:15:42.130 --> 00:15:44.260
  • "The wisdom that comes from heaven is submissive."
  • 00:15:44.270 --> 00:15:47.260
  • Underline the word submissive.
  • 00:15:47.270 --> 00:15:49.160
  • The Greek word here for submissive literally means not
  • 00:15:49.170 --> 00:15:52.140
  • stubborn but reasonable.
  • 00:15:52.150 --> 00:15:55.140
  • So are you reasonable with your spouse?
  • 00:15:55.150 --> 00:15:57.120
  • You know, can your kids reason with you?
  • 00:15:57.130 --> 00:16:00.200
  • Can your spouse reason with you?
  • 00:16:00.210 --> 00:16:02.280
  • Do you get really defensive when your mistakes are pointed out?
  • 00:16:02.290 --> 00:16:07.240
  • Do you seek to change and grow or are you always just staying
  • 00:16:07.250 --> 00:16:12.150
  • the same and you never admit that you need to grow or change?
  • 00:16:12.160 --> 00:16:16.290
  • When you stop growing personally in a marriage relationship,
  • 00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:19.150
  • the marriage starts growing apart because marriages
  • 00:16:19.160 --> 00:16:22.000
  • never stand still.
  • 00:16:22.010 --> 00:16:23.270
  • You have to understand that people are dynamic.
  • 00:16:23.280 --> 00:16:26.130
  • We're always changing.
  • 00:16:26.140 --> 00:16:28.030
  • Relationships are dynamic.
  • 00:16:28.040 --> 00:16:29.250
  • They're not static. They're always changing.
  • 00:16:29.260 --> 00:16:31.170
  • And so right now for those of you who are married,
  • 00:16:31.180 --> 00:16:33.230
  • your marriage is either growing a little bit closer or it's
  • 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:36.250
  • growing a little bit further apart every day.
  • 00:16:36.260 --> 00:16:38.080
  • That's the way it works.
  • 00:16:38.090 --> 00:16:40.110
  • And so if you don't change and grow,
  • 00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:43.030
  • you will grow apart.
  • 00:16:43.040 --> 00:16:45.130
  • Now, sometimes one is growing and changing and it really
  • 00:16:45.140 --> 00:16:48.180
  • scares and freaks out the other one,
  • 00:16:48.190 --> 00:16:52.100
  • and that's a little bit of God trying to push you out of your
  • 00:16:52.110 --> 00:16:55.010
  • comfort zone because many times God is shove me out of my
  • 00:16:55.020 --> 00:16:57.210
  • comfort zone into my calling.
  • 00:16:57.220 --> 00:17:00.080
  • Sometimes God has to shove you out of your comfort zone to get
  • 00:17:00.090 --> 00:17:03.020
  • you to change and grow.
  • 00:17:03.030 --> 00:17:04.170
  • We want to be comfortable.
  • 00:17:04.180 --> 00:17:05.280
  • It says in 1 John 4:18, "There's no fear in love,
  • 00:17:05.290 --> 00:17:08.090
  • but perfect love drives out fear."
  • 00:17:08.100 --> 00:17:10.160
  • The reason why it's so hard to change is we're afraid.
  • 00:17:10.170 --> 00:17:14.020
  • We're afraid of change.
  • 00:17:14.030 --> 00:17:15.190
  • We're afraid of making changes that feels awkward and we're
  • 00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:19.060
  • out of our comfort zone.
  • 00:17:19.070 --> 00:17:21.240
  • But to love God, you got to risk changing.
  • 00:17:21.250 --> 00:17:24.180
  • God loves you just the way you are,
  • 00:17:24.190 --> 00:17:26.090
  • but he loves you too much to let you stay that way.
  • 00:17:26.100 --> 00:17:28.070
  • He's going to shove you out of your comfort zone many times.
  • 00:17:28.080 --> 00:17:32.150
  • But then there's the fifth thing.
  • 00:17:32.160 --> 00:17:34.000
  • If I'm wise, I won't hold on to hurts.
  • 00:17:34.010 --> 00:17:36.020
  • I'll choose forgiveness. I'll live in forgiveness.
  • 00:17:36.030 --> 00:17:38.220
  • In James 3:17 it says, "The wisdom that comes from God is
  • 00:17:38.230 --> 00:17:41.150
  • full of mercy and good fruit."
  • 00:17:41.160 --> 00:17:43.260
  • Underline that phrase full of mercy.
  • 00:17:43.270 --> 00:17:45.210
  • What is mercy?
  • 00:17:45.220 --> 00:17:47.010
  • Mercy is giving people what they need,
  • 00:17:47.020 --> 00:17:48.220
  • not what they deserve.
  • 00:17:48.230 --> 00:17:50.040
  • It's the way God acts toward us.
  • 00:17:50.050 --> 00:17:52.010
  • Without God's mercy, none of us would be here.
  • 00:17:52.020 --> 00:17:54.110
  • It's all about God's mercy and grace that we don't deserve.
  • 00:17:54.120 --> 00:17:57.170
  • It's all about forgiveness.
  • 00:17:57.180 --> 00:18:00.070
  • And great relationships have to be built on forgiveness,
  • 00:18:00.080 --> 00:18:02.210
  • but I want to remind you what forgiveness isn't.
  • 00:18:02.220 --> 00:18:05.270
  • Forgiveness isn't saying, "Well, it's no big deal.
  • 00:18:05.280 --> 00:18:08.070
  • Yeah, it hurt, but who cares? I'm a Christian."
  • 00:18:08.080 --> 00:18:10.250
  • No, forgiveness is saying, "You hurt me deeply.
  • 00:18:10.260 --> 00:18:13.130
  • That's the way I feel. I feel really hurt.
  • 00:18:13.140 --> 00:18:16.050
  • It's devastating, but I choose to forgive you because Christ
  • 00:18:16.060 --> 00:18:19.070
  • commands it and I don't want bitterness to take root in my
  • 00:18:19.080 --> 00:18:22.130
  • life or our relationship.
  • 00:18:22.140 --> 00:18:24.030
  • So I choose to forgive.
  • 00:18:24.040 --> 00:18:25.130
  • I don't feel like it, but I choose to forgive."
  • 00:18:25.140 --> 00:18:29.160
  • Forgiveness is that choice that we make,
  • 00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:33.100
  • but also forgiveness isn't trust and I say this often because
  • 00:18:33.110 --> 00:18:35.280
  • it gets so confused.
  • 00:18:35.290 --> 00:18:37.120
  • A lot of people struggle with forgiveness because they think
  • 00:18:37.130 --> 00:18:39.170
  • if I forgive them, it means I have to trust them again.
  • 00:18:39.180 --> 00:18:41.180
  • No, takes a lot of time to build trust back.
  • 00:18:41.190 --> 00:18:43.250
  • You forgive instantly for your own sake so resentment doesn't
  • 00:18:43.260 --> 00:18:46.270
  • poison your soul and affect all your relationships.
  • 00:18:46.280 --> 00:18:50.130
  • And so you say, "God, I choose to forgive them because I need
  • 00:18:50.140 --> 00:18:53.090
  • forgiveness myself in my life, and I choose to forgive them
  • 00:18:53.100 --> 00:18:57.000
  • because I don't want resentment to take root.
  • 00:18:57.010 --> 00:18:59.120
  • I don't feel like forgiving them,
  • 00:18:59.130 --> 00:19:01.020
  • but I choose to forgive them."
  • 00:19:01.030 --> 00:19:02.120
  • And then it takes time to build trust back.
  • 00:19:02.130 --> 00:19:04.140
  • You don't have to trust them again.
  • 00:19:04.150 --> 00:19:05.260
  • You don't have to trust them again until you see trust being
  • 00:19:05.270 --> 00:19:08.070
  • built one building block at a time.
  • 00:19:08.080 --> 00:19:11.170
  • It's two different things completely.
  • 00:19:11.180 --> 00:19:13.290
  • Ephesians 4:31 says, "Get rid of all bitterness,
  • 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:17.140
  • rage, anger, brawling and slander,
  • 00:19:17.150 --> 00:19:19.190
  • along with every form of malice.
  • 00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:21.130
  • Be kind and compassionate to one another,
  • 00:19:21.140 --> 00:19:23.180
  • forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
  • 00:19:23.190 --> 00:19:26.240
  • You need to know forgiveness is not natural.
  • 00:19:26.250 --> 00:19:29.010
  • My natural unwise human reaction is to get mad,
  • 00:19:29.020 --> 00:19:34.030
  • get even, to hold on to the hurt,
  • 00:19:34.040 --> 00:19:37.090
  • to keep remembering the hurt.
  • 00:19:37.100 --> 00:19:39.270
  • It's supernatural to choose to forgive,
  • 00:19:39.280 --> 00:19:42.110
  • and you need God's power to do it.
  • 00:19:42.120 --> 00:19:44.030
  • I want you to look at this next verse because this is the secret
  • 00:19:44.040 --> 00:19:49.150
  • to true success.
  • 00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:51.150
  • Proverbs 28:13 says, "A man who refuses to admit his mistakes
  • 00:19:51.160 --> 00:19:54.020
  • can never be successful, but if he confesses and forsakes them,
  • 00:19:54.030 --> 00:19:57.010
  • he gets another chance."
  • 00:19:57.020 --> 00:19:58.270
  • The only the chance we have to build close relationships is to
  • 00:19:58.280 --> 00:20:02.040
  • admit the truth of our struggles and sins.
  • 00:20:02.050 --> 00:20:03.290
  • The reason why we don't is because of
  • 00:20:04.000 --> 00:20:06.110
  • our fear of rejection.
  • 00:20:06.120 --> 00:20:07.210
  • "If you really know what I'm like, you really
  • 00:20:07.220 --> 00:20:09.010
  • know all the ugliness,
  • 00:20:09.020 --> 00:20:10.110
  • if you really know all my struggles, you may reject me."
  • 00:20:10.120 --> 00:20:14.010
  • So we have this fear of rejection that's hovered over us
  • 00:20:14.020 --> 00:20:16.080
  • since the fall, but the worst fear of all is the fear of never
  • 00:20:16.090 --> 00:20:21.090
  • being known and God says, "I know you completely."
  • 00:20:21.100 --> 00:20:25.250
  • The God of the universe knows everything about you.
  • 00:20:25.260 --> 00:20:29.130
  • The good, bad, and the ugly, can't hide it from God and
  • 00:20:29.140 --> 00:20:32.180
  • he loves you more than anyone else.
  • 00:20:32.190 --> 00:20:34.080
  • 00:20:34.090 --> 00:20:43.070
  • announcer: Here at Kerry Shook Ministries,
  • 00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:47.140
  • we know that putting God's Word into your
  • 00:20:47.150 --> 00:20:49.020
  • life changes everything.
  • 00:20:49.030 --> 00:20:50.160
  • That's why we're excited to present a creative way to spend
  • 00:20:50.170 --> 00:20:52.240
  • time in worship throughout your day.
  • 00:20:52.250 --> 00:20:54.260
  • Today as our special thank you for your gift of support,
  • 00:20:54.270 --> 00:20:58.120
  • we want to send you our church's debut praise CD,
  • 00:20:58.130 --> 00:21:01.030
  • "Woodlands Worship Live."
  • 00:21:01.040 --> 00:21:03.050
  • It's a compilation of ten amazing songs that are
  • 00:21:03.060 --> 00:21:05.280
  • guaranteed to lift you up and fill your soul.
  • 00:21:05.290 --> 00:21:08.210
  • To receive today's special CD offer,
  • 00:21:08.220 --> 00:21:10.280
  • call us now at 844-34-KERRY or visit us online at
  • 00:21:10.290 --> 00:21:15.160
  • kerryshook.org as we share an original song from the
  • 00:21:15.170 --> 00:21:19.030
  • newly-released album.
  • 00:21:19.040 --> 00:21:20.190
  • 00:21:20.200 --> 00:21:26.020
  • This world is--for the dawn just waiting
  • 00:21:26.030 --> 00:21:32.270
  • for the light to come on.
  • 00:21:32.280 --> 00:21:40.220
  • I hear the earth, she's crying with the stars
  • 00:21:40.230 --> 00:21:47.000
  • just longing for creation reborn.
  • 00:21:47.010 --> 00:21:55.000
  • Even when the world seems to fall apart I won't forget
  • 00:21:55.010 --> 00:22:02.190
  • when you were on the cross I was on your heart.
  • 00:22:02.200 --> 00:22:10.030
  • That everything you did just to take me back,
  • 00:22:10.040 --> 00:22:13.290
  • I won't forget.
  • 00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:17.120
  • The perfect Father that you are.
  • 00:22:17.130 --> 00:22:23.190
  • 00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:33.190
  • 00:22:33.200 --> 00:22:39.290
  • This crowd is cracking underneath,
  • 00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:45.160
  • The weight of it is on the wall for me.
  • 00:22:45.170 --> 00:22:51.220
  • This heart is sighing on its knees
  • 00:22:54.040 --> 00:23:00.190
  • just longing for a hope it can't see.
  • 00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:08.210
  • Even when the world seems to fall apart,
  • 00:23:08.220 --> 00:23:12.000
  • I won't forget even on the cross I was on your heart.
  • 00:23:12.010 --> 00:23:22.010
  • Everything you did just to take me back,
  • 00:23:23.170 --> 00:23:27.040
  • I won't forget the perfect Father that you are.
  • 00:23:27.050 --> 00:23:37.040
  • Even when the world seems to fall apart,
  • 00:23:37.050 --> 00:23:41.250
  • I won't forget even on the cross I was on your heart.
  • 00:23:41.260 --> 00:23:51.260
  • Everything you did just to take me back,
  • 00:23:52.200 --> 00:23:56.150
  • I won't forget the perfect Father that you are.
  • 00:23:56.160 --> 00:24:04.010
  • 00:24:04.020 --> 00:24:11.090
  • When the waters rise, when the world gives way,
  • 00:24:11.100 --> 00:24:18.080
  • tears run from my eyes, but I won't forget every
  • 00:24:18.090 --> 00:24:26.090
  • good and perfect thing.
  • 00:24:26.100 --> 00:24:29.140
  • Even when I have all I need you still call
  • 00:24:29.150 --> 00:24:34.160
  • for me and I won't forget.
  • 00:24:34.170 --> 00:24:40.030
  • Everything I can hide is here that I can barely see.
  • 00:24:40.040 --> 00:24:47.080
  • You will always carry me and I won't forget.
  • 00:24:47.090 --> 00:24:54.260
  • I need to see my Father--let me sing it out to you
  • 00:24:54.270 --> 00:25:02.140
  • 'cause you already conquered death and I won't forget.
  • 00:25:02.150 --> 00:25:12.150
  • I won't forget.
  • 00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:23.000
  • Every tear that I shed, every drop that I bled,
  • 00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:31.070
  • everything I regret I won't forget.
  • 00:25:31.080 --> 00:25:38.270
  • Every tear that I shed, every drop that I bled,
  • 00:25:38.280 --> 00:25:45.220
  • everything that--
  • 00:25:45.230 --> 00:25:49.010
  • male: One day we'll forget all these pains.
  • 00:25:49.020 --> 00:25:51.090
  • Sing this out.
  • 00:25:51.100 --> 00:25:52.240
  • Every tear that I shed, every drop that I bled,
  • 00:25:52.250 --> 00:26:00.110
  • everything I regret I won't forget.
  • 00:26:00.120 --> 00:26:07.170
  • Every tear that I shed, every drop that I bled,
  • 00:26:07.180 --> 00:26:15.030
  • everything I regret I won't forget.
  • 00:26:15.040 --> 00:26:25.040
  • I won't forget.
  • 00:26:27.010 --> 00:26:32.090
  • 00:26:32.100 --> 00:26:42.100
  • Chris: We're so glad that you joined us for the message
  • 00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:45.220
  • today, and hope that it impacts your life all week long.
  • 00:26:45.230 --> 00:26:49.140
  • Kerry: And Chris, I know that there's many out there who've
  • 00:26:49.150 --> 00:26:52.090
  • never received Christ, and all you have to do is just pray and
  • 00:26:52.100 --> 00:26:56.040
  • ask for his salvation and say, "Jesus Christ,
  • 00:26:56.050 --> 00:26:59.100
  • forgive me of all my sins.
  • 00:26:59.110 --> 00:27:00.270
  • Come into my life. Be the Lord of my life.
  • 00:27:00.280 --> 00:27:03.050
  • I accept your free gift of salvation and heaven one day."
  • 00:27:03.060 --> 00:27:06.270
  • And if you pray that prayer, Christ will come into your life
  • 00:27:06.280 --> 00:27:09.240
  • and he'll never leave you.
  • 00:27:09.250 --> 00:27:11.060
  • 00:27:11.070 --> 00:27:21.060
  • 00:27:21.070 --> 00:27:26.070