Episode 3 | TBN

Episode 3

Watch Episode 3
September 25, 2019
26:59

Big Daddy Weave: When the Light Comes

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Episode 3

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  • Er
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  • Eryn
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  • Eryn W
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  • Eryn Wes
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  • Eryn West:
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  • Eryn West: L
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  • Eryn West: Lik
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  • Eryn West: Like,
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  • Eryn West: Like, t
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  • Eryn West: Like, tod
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  • Eryn West: Like, today
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  • Eryn West: Like, today,
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  • Eryn West: Like, today,
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  • Eryn West: Like, today, it
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  • Eryn West: Like, today, it's
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  • Eryn West: Like, today, it's f
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  • Eryn West: Like, today, it's fiv
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  • Eryn West: Like, today, it's five
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  • Eryn West: Like, today, it's five de
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  • Eryn West: Like, today, it's five degr
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  • Eryn West: Like, today, it's five degree
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  • Eryn West: Like, today, it's five degrees
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  • ou
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  • outs
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  • outsid
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  • outside
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  • outside in
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  • outside in W
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  • outside in Wis
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  • outside in Wisco
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  • outside in Wiscons
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  • outside in Wisconsin
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  • outside in Wisconsin.
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  • No
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  • No o
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  • No one
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  • No one w
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  • No one wan
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  • No one wants
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  • No one wants t
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  • No one wants to
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  • No one wants to be
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  • No one wants to be o
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  • No one wants to be out
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  • No one wants to be outsi
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  • No one wants to be outside
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  • No one wants to be outside
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  • No one wants to be outside
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  • No one wants to be outside fo
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  • No one wants to be outside for
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  • No one wants to be outside for lo
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  • No one wants to be outside for long
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  • No one wants to be outside for longer
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  • No one wants to be outside for longer t
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  • No one wants to be outside for longer tha
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  • No one wants to be outside for longer than
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  • No one wants to be outside for longer than 20
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  • No one wants to be outside for longer than 20 s
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  • No one wants to be outside for longer than 20 sec
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  • No one wants to be outside for longer than 20 secon
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  • No one wants to be outside for longer than 20 seconds
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  • No one wants to be outside for longer than 20 seconds.
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  • Jeremy Redmon: Our two older kids are in school,
  • 00:00:06.130 --> 00:00:08.050
  • and so we're all juggling record and film and kids in school,
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  • and we need some help when they get out of school,
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  • and we have a new baby coming.
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  • Brad Fogarty: Because I've watched you even in the midst
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  • of being angry and questioning God.
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  • I've watched you still lift your hands to praise the one
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  • that you're mad at.
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  • Brian Beihl: It's hard when you want something so bad,
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  • and you feel like God's given up on you.
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  • When the light comes, darkness runs away
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  • and only what lives in the light can stay
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  • When the light comes, nothing left to hide
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  • so come out of the darkness
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  • and turn on the light
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  • I throw open the door
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  • I fall to my knees
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  • I lay down my pride
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  • No secrets to keep
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  • The light of your love is shining on me
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  • The goodness of God is setting me free
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  • When the light comes, darkness runs away
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  • and only what lives in the light can stay
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  • When the light comes, nothing left to hide
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  • so come out of the darkness
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  • and turn on the light
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  • Emily Weaver: Okay.
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  • Kandice Weaver: Okay, here's the way.
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  • Emily: Here we go. On you go.
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  • Mike Weaver: So we're going on tour.
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  • We're all going on tour.
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  • We're bringing the whole family.
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  • Kandice Weaver: I think when people see the Big Daddy Weave
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  • entourage, if you will, pull up, they're like, "Wow, look at all
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  • these pretty buses, and there's so many of them.
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  • It must be such a glamorous life."
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  • Kandice: Okay, guys, let's get everything put away so we
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  • can get rolling fast, okay?
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  • Kandice: And that is not always the case, for sure.
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  • Kandice: Okay, we get our bags down.
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  • I'll get y'all's beds made, and then y'all can put your things
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  • in your bed.
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  • Emily Weaver: The glamorous?
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  • Mmm, no, I wear jeans and a T-shirt every day,
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  • tennis shoes, pony tail.
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  • That's my glam. Ha!
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  • Emily: Hey, Maddie, you have about 30 minutes, okay?
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  • So this is our living, dining, kitchen area.
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  • This is also home school area.
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  • "Bob" area.
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  • This is where we spend most of our time.
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  • When the slide is in, we lose about half our space, so you're
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  • bumping bodies when you walk down the hallways.
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  • Jay Weaver: Yeah, man, life on the road is not all it's
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  • cracked up to be, you know?
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  • I mean, you can make it look like just the greatest place
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  • ever, but when you're riding in a small tin can with a whole
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  • bunch of dudes, it's a little bit like rolling down the road
  • 00:03:04.250 --> 00:03:07.280
  • in a middle school gym locker.
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  • Emily: Kids' bedroom is all in one: Maddie, Mackenzie,
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  • and then Nathan is--ahh!
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  • Down here. You got me.
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  • Jay: And then you add, like, in our situation,
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  • my whole family's with us.
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  • We don't argue a lot.
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  • We just have some "intense moments of fellowship,"
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  • you know what I'm saying?
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  • Joe Shirk: It's definitely a win-win for us guys.
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  • You know, the hope is that the wives and kids enjoy it enough
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  • to where they're also liking to be out, and that's a huge deal
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  • for all of us dads that wanna spend as much time with family
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  • as possible.
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  • female: And we've had friends come visit.
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  • They're like, "Oh, okay, so now I understand it's kind of like
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  • camping," which it very much is like camping.
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  • Kandice: You're in charge of snacks, girl.
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  • You got it.
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  • Can you organize the drawer real good for me
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  • like you did last time?
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  • Thank you. There you go.
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  • Okay, you wanna get your backpack?
  • 00:03:58.270 --> 00:04:00.140
  • You're all set. Good job. Thanks.
  • 00:04:00.150 --> 00:04:04.160
  • Mike: We went out on tour with Chris Tomlin.
  • 00:04:04.170 --> 00:04:06.220
  • He was like, "Man," he goes, "this has been such a crazy
  • 00:04:06.230 --> 00:04:09.050
  • experience, man," he's like, "sort of like, you know,
  • 00:04:09.060 --> 00:04:11.190
  • one part like Billy Graham, and one part like touring with
  • 00:04:11.200 --> 00:04:14.080
  • "Clampett family," dude, you know,
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  • from "The Beverly Hillbillies,"
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  • and I was like, "That's exactly what this is like."
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  • Emily: And this is my "walk-in closet" area.
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  • You just can't tell.
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  • Emily: The best days are a playground or an inside gym,
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  • and laundry.
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  • If there's a washing machine and a dryer, it's like Ahhh...
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  • Angels are singing.
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  • Brian Beihl: Heading up to the northeast, so--
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  • Kim Beihl: It's gonna be cold up there?
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  • Brian: Cooler than here.
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  • Brian: There's kind of two sides of it.
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  • There's the side where, you know, some of the guys get
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  • to bring their families out, and they feel the call to be on the
  • 00:04:52.010 --> 00:04:55.040
  • road with their husbands, you know, and the kids feel called
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  • to be out as well, but for Jeremy and I, that's kind of
  • 00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:02.050
  • a different story.
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  • You know, our wives have careers and things that they do that
  • 00:05:03.260 --> 00:05:08.070
  • they're not able to come out on the road with us.
  • 00:05:08.080 --> 00:05:10.280
  • You know, they feel called to do their thing, and it's hard
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  • because we're not with them when we'd love to be.
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  • You know, it creates this longing to be home
  • 00:05:17.220 --> 00:05:21.090
  • and to be with them.
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  • Kim: So I've been leading worship over the course of the
  • 00:05:23.140 --> 00:05:25.290
  • last 12 years, so we're gonna start "Reckless Love," and we're
  • 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:29.190
  • gonna do the key of C, and Brian's gonna count us off.
  • 00:05:29.200 --> 00:05:32.160
  • Kim: I've always had a career that involved me staying
  • 00:05:32.170 --> 00:05:35.280
  • in Nashville when he would tour and stuff.
  • 00:05:35.290 --> 00:05:39.010
  • For us, we are really good communicators with each other,
  • 00:05:39.020 --> 00:05:43.190
  • and I think that's super-key, especially with him being gone.
  • 00:05:43.200 --> 00:05:48.240
  • We make sure that we talk about everything, even the hard stuff,
  • 00:05:48.250 --> 00:05:52.110
  • even the stuff maybe that you don't particularly wanna talk
  • 00:05:52.120 --> 00:05:55.150
  • about over the phone, but that's really your only option.
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  • Brian: Yeah, we've tried to have a family.
  • 00:05:59.100 --> 00:06:02.030
  • We started, at this point, 8 1/2 years ago,
  • 00:06:02.040 --> 00:06:05.130
  • trying to have a family, and it's a real struggle to go
  • 00:06:05.140 --> 00:06:10.080
  • through that and to be apart at the same time.
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  • Kim: It's like a double whammy a little bit for me
  • 00:06:12.200 --> 00:06:15.060
  • 'cause I have endometriosis, so I've had four different
  • 00:06:15.070 --> 00:06:18.210
  • surgeries, and there's been times where in between
  • 00:06:18.220 --> 00:06:21.160
  • recovering from surgeries, you're on medications that, you
  • 00:06:21.170 --> 00:06:26.120
  • know, basically one of 'em put me into a premenopausal state,
  • 00:06:26.130 --> 00:06:31.030
  • so for six months, I'm having hot flashes and night sweats,
  • 00:06:31.040 --> 00:06:34.160
  • and you can't try to get pregnant when you're in
  • 00:06:34.170 --> 00:06:36.270
  • menopausal state, you know?
  • 00:06:36.280 --> 00:06:39.140
  • Like, that's not gonna happen.
  • 00:06:39.150 --> 00:06:41.070
  • Brian: There's good weeks, there's bad weeks, just
  • 00:06:41.080 --> 00:06:42.280
  • depending on kind of where we are in that journey, and if the
  • 00:06:42.290 --> 00:06:45.160
  • week has been really hard, and now I've gotta go on the road,
  • 00:06:45.170 --> 00:06:49.070
  • then that makes it even harder to be away because we
  • 00:06:49.080 --> 00:06:52.130
  • can't really have that face-to-face conversation.
  • 00:06:52.140 --> 00:06:55.140
  • Kim: You know, it's not like I can hop in a car and drive
  • 00:06:55.150 --> 00:06:57.240
  • 20 minutes and go sit down and talk with him, so we make it
  • 00:06:57.250 --> 00:07:00.270
  • work because we communicate with each other really well.
  • 00:07:00.280 --> 00:07:04.020
  • 00:07:04.030 --> 00:07:09.020
  • 00:07:09.030 --> 00:07:16.190
  • Joe: When we first started, we were in multiple vehicles,
  • 00:07:16.200 --> 00:07:20.220
  • and so we even just had the gear in our own personal cars,
  • 00:07:20.230 --> 00:07:23.190
  • going everywhere.
  • 00:07:23.200 --> 00:07:25.070
  • We go from that to, like, a van-and-trailer days, and so
  • 00:07:25.080 --> 00:07:29.050
  • that was--we were doing our own loading, unloading, all that
  • 00:07:29.060 --> 00:07:31.270
  • kind of stuff, and we were--at least we were in one vehicle,
  • 00:07:31.280 --> 00:07:34.180
  • though, so that helped, and then, eventually, we got into
  • 00:07:34.190 --> 00:07:38.040
  • a bus, and then it just started to get bigger and bigger:
  • 00:07:38.050 --> 00:07:40.290
  • bigger trailers, more people coming on to help.
  • 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:44.150
  • Eryn West: Hey, good morning, guys.
  • 00:07:44.160 --> 00:07:46.050
  • We're in Oshkosh today. There's the Weaver family.
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  • We are freezing to death out here so--
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  • Eryn: Today's a Sunday.
  • 00:07:53.060 --> 00:07:54.210
  • You wake up, put your clothes on, brush your teeth in the bus
  • 00:07:54.220 --> 00:07:57.250
  • with a water bottle 'cause you can't use the actual sink.
  • 00:07:57.260 --> 00:08:02.150
  • Hop off the bus, and like, today, it's five degrees outside
  • 00:08:02.160 --> 00:08:06.050
  • in Wisconsin, and no one wants to be outside
  • 00:08:06.060 --> 00:08:09.240
  • for longer than 20 seconds.
  • 00:08:09.250 --> 00:08:12.170
  • And then I'll also send a video out on my phone.
  • 00:08:12.180 --> 00:08:14.250
  • I'll take a video of where their buses are parked, kind of show
  • 00:08:14.260 --> 00:08:17.240
  • them the landscape of where they're at, what they'll be
  • 00:08:17.250 --> 00:08:21.030
  • looking at then they wake up and get off the bus.
  • 00:08:21.040 --> 00:08:23.220
  • And then from there, I'll have arrows down throughout the
  • 00:08:23.230 --> 00:08:27.040
  • entire venue to get them to the stage, to catering,
  • 00:08:27.050 --> 00:08:29.260
  • the dressing rooms.
  • 00:08:29.270 --> 00:08:33.220
  • We literally have an entire semi full of gear, and we have
  • 00:08:33.230 --> 00:08:38.250
  • five production crew members.
  • 00:08:38.260 --> 00:08:41.020
  • It would nearly be impossible for five guys to unload an
  • 00:08:41.030 --> 00:08:45.170
  • entire semi by themselves, uncase all the gear, get all the
  • 00:08:45.180 --> 00:08:48.290
  • lighting fixtures out, all the audio cables, all the speakers,
  • 00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:52.000
  • drums, keyboards, guitar amps, et cetera.
  • 00:08:52.010 --> 00:08:55.240
  • It would nearly be impossible for them to do that in a
  • 00:08:55.250 --> 00:08:58.100
  • six-hour window before the show would start, and so we're always
  • 00:08:58.110 --> 00:09:01.280
  • asking for local crew, local volunteers that will come out
  • 00:09:01.290 --> 00:09:06.020
  • and serve for the day and help us load in, and then after the
  • 00:09:06.030 --> 00:09:09.030
  • show it's the same thing to put everything back its cases
  • 00:09:09.040 --> 00:09:13.050
  • and then roll everything into the truck,
  • 00:09:13.060 --> 00:09:15.000
  • and it's literally like adult Tetris.
  • 00:09:15.010 --> 00:09:17.280
  • 00:09:17.290 --> 00:09:27.280
  • 00:09:27.290 --> 00:09:31.130
  • Jeremy Redmon: Tour is starting,
  • 00:09:31.140 --> 00:09:33.110
  • and record is not finished.
  • 00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:37.270
  • There's a lot of trial and error for me of trying to try new
  • 00:09:37.280 --> 00:09:42.020
  • sounds and new things that maybe the band hasn't done before but
  • 00:09:42.030 --> 00:09:45.160
  • things that are very current with music these days,
  • 00:09:45.170 --> 00:09:48.020
  • current with what we listen to, what our kids listen to.
  • 00:09:48.030 --> 00:09:50.270
  • We love that stuff and so trying to figure out how Big Daddy
  • 00:09:50.280 --> 00:09:53.260
  • Weave kind of morphs into some of that world a little bit.
  • 00:09:53.270 --> 00:09:57.110
  • No other love will do
  • 00:09:57.120 --> 00:10:01.110
  • I'm burning--
  • 00:10:01.120 --> 00:10:02.250
  • Jeremy: I've tried to make records on the road before.
  • 00:10:02.260 --> 00:10:05.160
  • I already knew this wasn't gonna work.
  • 00:10:05.170 --> 00:10:07.050
  • My heart is an open--
  • 00:10:07.060 --> 00:10:09.060
  • Eryn West: Hey, Jerm, did you get my text?
  • 00:10:09.070 --> 00:10:10.230
  • Jeremy: Hey, sorry, man, I'm just trying to finish up
  • 00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:12.030
  • this one thing.
  • 00:10:12.040 --> 00:10:13.190
  • What were you--
  • 00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:15.030
  • Eryn: Well, we don't have venue showers today,
  • 00:10:15.040 --> 00:10:16.130
  • so I've gotta get you over to the hotel for a shower
  • 00:10:16.140 --> 00:10:18.080
  • so you can be back at fellowship time--
  • 00:10:18.090 --> 00:10:19.290
  • Jeremy: Man, I lost track of time.
  • 00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:21.180
  • Jeremy: Try setting up on the bus, and it just doesn't work.
  • 00:10:21.190 --> 00:10:23.280
  • There's too many distractions, and it's so unproductive to be
  • 00:10:23.290 --> 00:10:26.290
  • on the road and try to make a record.
  • 00:10:27.000 --> 00:10:28.180
  • Eryn: We're trying to roll here in just, like, the next
  • 00:10:28.190 --> 00:10:30.040
  • couple minutes so--
  • 00:10:30.050 --> 00:10:31.140
  • Jeremy: Okay, can you give me five minutes?
  • 00:10:31.150 --> 00:10:32.240
  • Eryn: Uh--
  • 00:10:32.250 --> 00:10:34.040
  • Jeremy: Please?
  • 00:10:34.050 --> 00:10:35.140
  • Eryn: All right, five.
  • 00:10:35.150 --> 00:10:36.240
  • Jeremy: All right, I'll be out in just--
  • 00:10:36.250 --> 00:10:38.040
  • I'm trying to get this one thing.
  • 00:10:38.050 --> 00:10:39.140
  • Jeremy: So tour is starting.
  • 00:10:39.150 --> 00:10:40.240
  • My wife, Anna, is starting her next film that she's working on
  • 00:10:40.250 --> 00:10:42.110
  • as a costume designer.
  • 00:10:42.120 --> 00:10:44.020
  • She's also only a few months away from giving birth
  • 00:10:44.030 --> 00:10:46.060
  • to our new child.
  • 00:10:46.070 --> 00:10:48.030
  • Anna Redmon: If he's not--
  • 00:10:48.040 --> 00:10:49.250
  • I mean, he's pretty much in every scene.
  • 00:10:49.260 --> 00:10:52.100
  • If there's 54 days, script days, then that averages out to be
  • 00:10:52.110 --> 00:10:56.070
  • he's gonna have--
  • 00:10:56.080 --> 00:10:57.170
  • Jeremy: And our two older kids are in school, and so we're
  • 00:10:57.180 --> 00:10:59.200
  • all juggling record, and film, and kids in school, and we need
  • 00:10:59.210 --> 00:11:04.250
  • some help when they get out of school, and we have a new baby
  • 00:11:04.260 --> 00:11:07.240
  • coming, and I don't know how it's gonna look now
  • 00:11:07.250 --> 00:11:11.020
  • that tour is starting.
  • 00:11:11.030 --> 00:11:12.240
  • It's just crazy trying to think about how this is gonna happen.
  • 00:11:12.250 --> 00:11:15.070
  • I'm burning alive with one pursuit
  • 00:11:15.080 --> 00:11:17.170
  • My heart is an open wound
  • 00:11:17.180 --> 00:11:21.170
  • Brad Fogarty: It's that time of day.
  • 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:25.090
  • We just wanna invite the Lord-- which we always laugh.
  • 00:11:25.100 --> 00:11:28.100
  • You can't invite the Lord somewhere.
  • 00:11:28.110 --> 00:11:30.040
  • He's already there.
  • 00:11:30.050 --> 00:11:31.230
  • His presence changes everything, so we carry
  • 00:11:31.240 --> 00:11:34.180
  • a responsibility in this.
  • 00:11:34.190 --> 00:11:36.180
  • It's called prayer.
  • 00:11:36.190 --> 00:11:38.030
  • If there's anything we could just as a family pray for or
  • 00:11:38.040 --> 00:11:43.120
  • minister to you in this moment, if there's anything anybody has,
  • 00:11:43.130 --> 00:11:48.010
  • we'd love to know it.
  • 00:11:48.020 --> 00:11:50.160
  • I'll sit and wait, see what happens.
  • 00:11:50.170 --> 00:11:53.010
  • So every day, we usually get together right, you know, before
  • 00:11:53.020 --> 00:11:56.150
  • things get crazy in the night, and man, as Brad is sharing
  • 00:11:56.160 --> 00:12:03.100
  • with us, I remember B.B. getting up,
  • 00:12:03.110 --> 00:12:09.000
  • and he began to share, and oh my word.
  • 00:12:09.010 --> 00:12:12.200
  • Brian: When Brad asked, you know, if there was anyone that
  • 00:12:12.210 --> 00:12:15.050
  • wanted to share anything, I'd just been feeling, like,
  • 00:12:15.060 --> 00:12:20.100
  • "I feel like I need to share something with everyone
  • 00:12:20.110 --> 00:12:23.200
  • about what's happening."
  • 00:12:23.210 --> 00:12:25.160
  • Brian: I'd like to share some stuff.
  • 00:12:25.170 --> 00:12:30.180
  • So, most of you kind of know my story, just
  • 00:12:31.110 --> 00:12:35.000
  • dealing with infertility, the struggle with that.
  • 00:12:35.010 --> 00:12:40.100
  • Today, you know, we're looking at over 8 years
  • 00:12:40.110 --> 00:12:42.260
  • of going through this.
  • 00:12:42.270 --> 00:12:45.180
  • It's a very lonely, dark place to be, a lot of hurts with
  • 00:12:45.190 --> 00:12:49.210
  • friendships, relationships, that have happened where people just
  • 00:12:49.220 --> 00:12:53.170
  • don't know how to walk with you through something so long,
  • 00:12:53.180 --> 00:12:58.040
  • and things kind of go unsaid sometimes
  • 00:12:58.050 --> 00:13:00.130
  • because they just don't-- they just don't know.
  • 00:13:00.140 --> 00:13:04.020
  • So it makes it very lonely.
  • 00:13:04.030 --> 00:13:05.180
  • It makes it a really hard place to be in.
  • 00:13:05.190 --> 00:13:09.280
  • Brian: I think when you go through a struggle like Kim
  • 00:13:09.290 --> 00:13:13.090
  • and I have gone through, it's weird.
  • 00:13:13.100 --> 00:13:15.070
  • Like, friendships change.
  • 00:13:15.080 --> 00:13:17.210
  • They just do.
  • 00:13:17.220 --> 00:13:19.190
  • I can't really figure out how and why, but I think what I've
  • 00:13:19.200 --> 00:13:24.160
  • kind of figured out over the years of this is as people
  • 00:13:24.170 --> 00:13:28.240
  • journey along with you, they don't see the end.
  • 00:13:28.250 --> 00:13:32.060
  • They wanna see the final, like, "Oh, man, yeah, here it is," you
  • 00:13:32.070 --> 00:13:35.290
  • know, but when you don't see it, it's hard to kind of continue on
  • 00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:38.280
  • that of like, "Man, we're here, you know, we're praying,"
  • 00:13:38.290 --> 00:13:41.010
  • doing all these things.
  • 00:13:41.020 --> 00:13:42.200
  • On the one hand yes, everybody, you know, wants to see this
  • 00:13:42.210 --> 00:13:45.070
  • happen and wants to see, you know, something great happen,
  • 00:13:45.080 --> 00:13:48.040
  • but I feel like after time after time, it just kind of, just,
  • 00:13:48.050 --> 00:13:52.010
  • kind of wears on people, but I just--I think I just had
  • 00:13:52.020 --> 00:13:55.010
  • to share, like, "Guys, this is what it is.
  • 00:13:55.020 --> 00:13:57.020
  • This is every day."
  • 00:13:57.030 --> 00:13:58.120
  • Brian: We've gone through IVF cycles.
  • 00:13:58.130 --> 00:14:02.190
  • We've had a miscarriage.
  • 00:14:02.200 --> 00:14:05.260
  • We've really struggled through this.
  • 00:14:05.270 --> 00:14:08.000
  • It's just a lot in this 'cause we want a family so bad.
  • 00:14:08.010 --> 00:14:10.260
  • We wanna be parents.
  • 00:14:10.270 --> 00:14:12.110
  • We wanna have little ones running around, and we're happy
  • 00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:15.230
  • for all those that--they get to have that, and we love that.
  • 00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:19.170
  • We love kids, you know?
  • 00:14:19.180 --> 00:14:21.170
  • But at the same time, it makes it really hard
  • 00:14:21.180 --> 00:14:24.030
  • 'cause we want it so bad for ourself.
  • 00:14:24.040 --> 00:14:26.020
  • Jeremy: I know Brian and Kim have been struggling,
  • 00:14:26.030 --> 00:14:28.140
  • and with this infertility for so long, and it's so hard
  • 00:14:28.150 --> 00:14:31.180
  • to know what to say.
  • 00:14:31.190 --> 00:14:33.140
  • It also puts me in a interesting spot, the fact that we're
  • 00:14:33.150 --> 00:14:37.260
  • expecting, and we have a baby on the way,
  • 00:14:37.270 --> 00:14:42.030
  • and I know it's something they desire so badly.
  • 00:14:42.040 --> 00:14:45.230
  • Joe: B.B.'s just so awesome through this whole journey,
  • 00:14:45.240 --> 00:14:48.270
  • getting to know more and more about the struggle with him and
  • 00:14:48.280 --> 00:14:51.260
  • Kim, and it's been a hard thing.
  • 00:14:51.270 --> 00:14:53.280
  • It's been awkward along the way for us to be excited about
  • 00:14:53.290 --> 00:14:57.130
  • things with our families and kids to where it's not something
  • 00:14:57.140 --> 00:15:00.120
  • that's like another twist of the knife or something of his
  • 00:15:00.130 --> 00:15:03.180
  • longing desire to have that same thing.
  • 00:15:03.190 --> 00:15:05.230
  • Jeremy: Man, we love them so dearly, and we want them to have
  • 00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:10.020
  • kids so badly, and believe that the Lord can do it.
  • 00:15:10.030 --> 00:15:13.160
  • It is one of those things where, you know, you don't wanna be
  • 00:15:13.170 --> 00:15:15.240
  • reminded of every moment, so I've always had the approach
  • 00:15:15.250 --> 00:15:18.260
  • with him--Brian and I are really close on the road, actually, and
  • 00:15:18.270 --> 00:15:21.250
  • we're good friends, and we spend a lot of time together on the
  • 00:15:21.260 --> 00:15:24.210
  • bus, and so I know when there's heavy days, and I know when
  • 00:15:24.220 --> 00:15:29.010
  • there's days that aren't that bad, and you know,
  • 00:15:29.020 --> 00:15:33.170
  • I will always be there whenever he wants to talk, and you know,
  • 00:15:33.180 --> 00:15:39.290
  • I've told him that, and I feel like all we can do is be there
  • 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:44.020
  • for each other as much as possible.
  • 00:15:44.030 --> 00:15:46.100
  • Brian: You know, you have those questions of like,
  • 00:15:46.110 --> 00:15:48.130
  • "God, do you still love me?
  • 00:15:48.140 --> 00:15:49.280
  • Do you still care?
  • 00:15:49.290 --> 00:15:51.240
  • Are you even there?"
  • 00:15:51.250 --> 00:15:53.040
  • Like, "Do I really even believe in you anymore?
  • 00:15:53.050 --> 00:15:55.010
  • Do I really care in that anymore?"
  • 00:15:55.020 --> 00:16:00.170
  • It's hard when you want something so bad,
  • 00:16:02.150 --> 00:16:06.010
  • and you feel like God's given up on you.
  • 00:16:06.020 --> 00:16:09.240
  • Man, B.B. just laid his heart out there,
  • 00:16:10.270 --> 00:16:15.180
  • and it was just raw, and it was just--
  • 00:16:15.190 --> 00:16:17.240
  • you could just feel the hurt, man, of everything that he
  • 00:16:17.250 --> 00:16:21.250
  • and Kim have been through and to have this great hope
  • 00:16:21.260 --> 00:16:25.100
  • and to have that dashed on the rocks.
  • 00:16:25.110 --> 00:16:27.140
  • And what blessed me so much and left me hurting so much
  • 00:16:27.150 --> 00:16:31.220
  • at the same time was Brian just sharing, man, just his guts,
  • 00:16:31.230 --> 00:16:36.030
  • man, just the reality of where he was at with that.
  • 00:16:36.040 --> 00:16:38.130
  • Man, I just broke over that.
  • 00:16:38.140 --> 00:16:40.120
  • Brad: I think that's the fear of these moments.
  • 00:16:40.130 --> 00:16:43.240
  • It's like no one knows what to say.
  • 00:16:43.250 --> 00:16:46.190
  • I've known your anger.
  • 00:16:46.200 --> 00:16:48.080
  • I've seen it, but I've been blessed at how it hasn't
  • 00:16:48.090 --> 00:16:52.250
  • corrupted your heart because I've watched you even
  • 00:16:52.260 --> 00:16:57.050
  • in the midst of being angry and questioning God.
  • 00:16:57.060 --> 00:17:00.070
  • I've watched you, in the midst of concerts, still lift your
  • 00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:03.240
  • hands to praise the one that you're mad at.
  • 00:17:03.250 --> 00:17:08.250
  • Oh, but know this, man, you have, in the midst of your
  • 00:17:08.260 --> 00:17:11.290
  • circumstances, been a blessing to all of us.
  • 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:16.180
  • You've been the reason some of us had a fight, because we
  • 00:17:16.190 --> 00:17:20.280
  • watched you fight 'cause we knew what you were in.
  • 00:17:20.290 --> 00:17:23.030
  • We didn't know how to touch it.
  • 00:17:23.040 --> 00:17:24.170
  • We didn't know how to say anything to it, but we watched
  • 00:17:24.180 --> 00:17:26.250
  • you fight and remain faithful, even in your anger,
  • 00:17:26.260 --> 00:17:31.200
  • and I'm sorry we don't have an answer.
  • 00:17:31.210 --> 00:17:34.290
  • Brian: That's a hard thing because you don't--
  • 00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:38.010
  • nobody has the answer, you know,
  • 00:17:38.020 --> 00:17:40.120
  • and just kind of what you're saying, it's like--
  • 00:17:40.130 --> 00:17:42.210
  • and you keep from saying things because you're--
  • 00:17:42.220 --> 00:17:45.160
  • you know, it's like you don't have the answer
  • 00:17:45.170 --> 00:17:47.280
  • to what I need in that moment,
  • 00:17:47.290 --> 00:17:50.250
  • you know, but I think it's just--even just the,
  • 00:17:50.260 --> 00:17:53.250
  • you know, from time to time, just like,
  • 00:17:53.260 --> 00:17:56.010
  • "Hey, you okay over there?"
  • 00:17:56.020 --> 00:17:58.280
  • You know, 'cause it's very easy to isolate yourself.
  • 00:17:58.290 --> 00:18:02.260
  • Brad: Sometimes the easiest place to be alone is in a crowd
  • 00:18:02.270 --> 00:18:06.040
  • until the crowd says, "We're not gonna let anybody be alone."
  • 00:18:06.050 --> 00:18:09.190
  • So forgive us.
  • 00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:11.090
  • Jim Scherer: I feel like Brian just opened
  • 00:18:11.100 --> 00:18:12.230
  • the door to us.
  • 00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:14.070
  • We were all so sensitive that we forgot to be friends,
  • 00:18:14.080 --> 00:18:19.210
  • and we did him a disservice, and he just let us in
  • 00:18:19.220 --> 00:18:23.270
  • to invite us in to love on him.
  • 00:18:23.280 --> 00:18:26.090
  • Jay: I think one of the hardest things we deal with in
  • 00:18:26.100 --> 00:18:29.170
  • the church is each other's pain and knowing how to deal with it,
  • 00:18:29.180 --> 00:18:35.010
  • you know, knowing what to say 'cause we always just wanna come
  • 00:18:35.020 --> 00:18:37.040
  • up with the greatest fix or the next line that is gonna put a
  • 00:18:37.050 --> 00:18:40.280
  • Band-Aid on the cut, and sometimes the greatest thing you
  • 00:18:40.290 --> 00:18:43.270
  • can say is "I'm sorry, man," you know, and just hug, you know?
  • 00:18:43.280 --> 00:18:48.020
  • And we're not good at that, but I'm trying to learn through this
  • 00:18:48.030 --> 00:18:51.200
  • stuff that we've been going through, how to just look at you
  • 00:18:51.210 --> 00:18:55.040
  • and go, "I'm sorry, you know, and I'm with ya.
  • 00:18:55.050 --> 00:18:58.280
  • I'm here if you need me, but I'm not gonna beat ya up
  • 00:18:58.290 --> 00:19:01.230
  • and pester you."
  • 00:19:01.240 --> 00:19:03.270
  • 00:19:03.280 --> 00:19:06.220
  • Brad: Let's pray for B.B.
  • 00:19:06.230 --> 00:19:10.020
  • Let's just gather around him. Step out here.
  • 00:19:10.030 --> 00:19:13.220
  • Brian: I think I just--I really needed to just get up and
  • 00:19:13.230 --> 00:19:15.180
  • share the journey of infertility that Kim and I have been on over
  • 00:19:15.190 --> 00:19:19.290
  • the last 8 1/2 years, to really just kind of
  • 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:22.060
  • give them a snapshot of what our daily life is, the struggles in
  • 00:19:22.070 --> 00:19:27.090
  • that, the hurts and the, you know, all the different emotions
  • 00:19:27.100 --> 00:19:32.080
  • that we face every day.
  • 00:19:32.090 --> 00:19:34.010
  • I just felt like I needed to share with them, like,
  • 00:19:34.020 --> 00:19:36.210
  • "This is what it's like.
  • 00:19:36.220 --> 00:19:38.180
  • So many of you don't know, some of you do, so I just wanna kind
  • 00:19:38.190 --> 00:19:41.290
  • of get it out there and just let you know, hey, this is it."
  • 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:45.200
  • This is life right now for Kim and I.
  • 00:19:45.210 --> 00:19:48.230
  • Brad: Lord, what I ask for right now is that the song
  • 00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:51.200
  • you've put in B.B's heart would rise up and pierce his lips.
  • 00:19:51.210 --> 00:19:57.020
  • We ask it all in Jesus's name.
  • 00:19:57.030 --> 00:20:00.100
  • 00:20:00.110 --> 00:20:07.210
  • Mike: Amen, this is a new one called "The Name of Jesus."
  • 00:20:07.220 --> 00:20:11.110
  • It's easy to get ahold of with love if you sing this with us.
  • 00:20:11.120 --> 00:20:15.280
  • 00:20:15.290 --> 00:20:17.080
  • Every knee will bow
  • 00:20:17.090 --> 00:20:23.180
  • every tongue confess your name
  • 00:20:23.190 --> 00:20:30.000
  • Heaven coming down, right in this room tonight
  • 00:20:30.010 --> 00:20:36.110
  • responding to the sound of your name
  • 00:20:36.120 --> 00:20:43.210
  • the name of Jesus
  • 00:20:43.220 --> 00:20:47.100
  • the name of Jesus
  • 00:20:49.290 --> 00:20:53.270
  • Praise God
  • 00:20:54.150 --> 00:20:56.260
  • For your name is like a mighty fortress
  • 00:20:56.270 --> 00:21:00.270
  • stronger than the grip of darkness
  • 00:21:00.280 --> 00:21:04.030
  • rolled back the stone that could not
  • 00:21:04.040 --> 00:21:07.110
  • hold you in the grave
  • 00:21:07.120 --> 00:21:10.030
  • Full of power that will shake the heavens
  • 00:21:10.040 --> 00:21:13.220
  • love that will stand forever
  • 00:21:13.230 --> 00:21:17.040
  • ripping through the prison doors
  • 00:21:17.050 --> 00:21:20.040
  • to set the captives free, the name of Jesus
  • 00:21:20.050 --> 00:21:25.200
  • whoa, the name of Jesus
  • 00:21:25.210 --> 00:21:33.240
  • Oh, every knee will bow
  • 00:21:33.250 --> 00:21:35.140
  • Every knee will bow
  • 00:21:35.150 --> 00:21:41.070
  • every tongue confess your name
  • 00:21:41.080 --> 00:21:47.210
  • Hearts are crying out
  • 00:21:47.220 --> 00:21:54.090
  • We echo heaven now
  • 00:21:54.100 --> 00:21:58.090
  • as we praise the name of Jesus
  • 00:21:58.100 --> 00:22:04.200
  • Amen
  • 00:22:04.210 --> 00:22:07.280
  • The name of Jesus
  • 00:22:07.290 --> 00:22:12.260
  • For your name is like a mighty fortress
  • 00:22:14.250 --> 00:22:18.220
  • stronger than the grip of darkness
  • 00:22:18.230 --> 00:22:22.000
  • rolled back the stone that could not
  • 00:22:22.010 --> 00:22:25.250
  • hold you in the grave
  • 00:22:25.260 --> 00:22:27.250
  • Full of power that will shake the heavens
  • 00:22:27.260 --> 00:22:31.160
  • love that will stand forever
  • 00:22:31.170 --> 00:22:34.260
  • ripping through the prison doors
  • 00:22:34.270 --> 00:22:37.250
  • to set the captives free
  • 00:22:37.260 --> 00:22:40.170
  • the name of Jesus
  • 00:22:40.180 --> 00:22:43.200
  • whoa, the name of Jesus
  • 00:22:43.210 --> 00:22:50.010
  • Ooh-whoa-oh-oh
  • 00:22:50.020 --> 00:22:53.050
  • the name of Jesus
  • 00:22:53.060 --> 00:22:58.070
  • So I could rise
  • 00:22:59.250 --> 00:23:03.220
  • Now I'm alive
  • 00:23:03.230 --> 00:23:06.160
  • Mike: Hey, everybody, we're so excited to announce
  • 00:23:07.110 --> 00:23:09.010
  • that our brand-new record, "When the Light Comes,"
  • 00:23:09.020 --> 00:23:11.120
  • is available now.
  • 00:23:11.130 --> 00:23:13.220
  • We're so excited to share these songs that were birthed
  • 00:23:13.230 --> 00:23:16.020
  • out of this last season of life.
  • 00:23:16.030 --> 00:23:17.210
  • For more info, go to bigdaddyweave.com,
  • 00:23:17.220 --> 00:23:20.170
  • or listen wherever you listen to music.
  • 00:23:20.180 --> 00:23:23.200
  • God you called me out, now I'm alive.
  • 00:23:23.210 --> 00:23:28.290
  • Mike: It's crazy how you can be living in such close
  • 00:23:30.220 --> 00:23:33.180
  • proximity to people, and then never really know
  • 00:23:33.190 --> 00:23:37.040
  • the depth of the hurt that they're in.
  • 00:23:37.050 --> 00:23:40.070
  • After Brian shared what he shared, man, in the show,
  • 00:23:40.080 --> 00:23:45.210
  • was done, I was like, "Man, I gotta go find him, man."
  • 00:23:45.220 --> 00:23:48.010
  • Mike: Hey, B.B. Brian: Hey, man.
  • 00:23:48.020 --> 00:23:50.080
  • Mike: How're ya doing, man? That was intense, bro.
  • 00:23:50.090 --> 00:23:52.270
  • Brian: Oh, I'm doing all right.
  • 00:23:52.280 --> 00:23:54.120
  • Just trying to, you know, share my heart and kind of fill people
  • 00:23:54.130 --> 00:23:57.080
  • in on what it's like, you know?
  • 00:23:57.090 --> 00:24:00.040
  • Mike: I just wanna agree with what Brad said, man,
  • 00:24:00.050 --> 00:24:04.100
  • I'm sorry for not knowing what to say to you.
  • 00:24:04.110 --> 00:24:06.050
  • I'm sorry not knowing how to be.
  • 00:24:06.060 --> 00:24:07.280
  • I mean, I've seen the struggle.
  • 00:24:07.290 --> 00:24:09.110
  • I've seen you guys deal with people who are--
  • 00:24:09.120 --> 00:24:12.070
  • you know, they won't leave you alone about it,
  • 00:24:12.080 --> 00:24:14.090
  • and then people who never check in on you,
  • 00:24:14.100 --> 00:24:17.220
  • and like, I don't know which one I am or how to be,
  • 00:24:17.230 --> 00:24:20.100
  • and so, man, I'm sorry to you.
  • 00:24:20.110 --> 00:24:21.210
  • Brian: Well, no, and it becomes a hard thing
  • 00:24:21.220 --> 00:24:23.130
  • because it is.
  • 00:24:23.140 --> 00:24:24.280
  • It's--you know, like I was saying, it's such a process
  • 00:24:24.290 --> 00:24:28.010
  • and just a long battle.
  • 00:24:28.020 --> 00:24:30.020
  • People don't know where to fit in with that and how to do it,
  • 00:24:30.030 --> 00:24:33.000
  • but, you know, it's like, in that, just ask, you know?
  • 00:24:33.010 --> 00:24:36.060
  • And the thing I can say is "I don't wanna talk
  • 00:24:36.070 --> 00:24:39.210
  • about it right now--"
  • 00:24:39.220 --> 00:24:41.060
  • Mike: Yeah.
  • 00:24:41.070 --> 00:24:42.200
  • Brian: "You know, but if I do, I'll let you know."
  • 00:24:42.210 --> 00:24:44.040
  • Mike: Yeah, bro, yeah, well, you just know that, like,
  • 00:24:44.050 --> 00:24:45.240
  • we're in it with you in our hearts, whether we're getting
  • 00:24:45.250 --> 00:24:49.040
  • it right or whether we're not getting it right.
  • 00:24:49.050 --> 00:24:51.100
  • You know, when we get--it feels like when you get bad news,
  • 00:24:51.110 --> 00:24:53.150
  • we get bad news, you know what I mean?
  • 00:24:53.160 --> 00:24:55.110
  • Brian: Sure, yeah.
  • 00:24:55.120 --> 00:24:56.230
  • Mike: And when you get something encouraging, man,
  • 00:24:56.240 --> 00:24:58.050
  • we're all celebrating there with you, man,
  • 00:24:58.060 --> 00:24:59.220
  • and so we will do our best to ask, then, man.
  • 00:24:59.230 --> 00:25:03.000
  • Brian: Wow, thanks, man, I appreciate that.
  • 00:25:03.010 --> 00:25:04.100
  • Mike: I love you, bro.
  • 00:25:04.110 --> 00:25:05.200
  • Brian: Love you too, man.
  • 00:25:05.210 --> 00:25:07.000
  • Brian: Yeah, having Mike come up to me and just share,
  • 00:25:07.010 --> 00:25:09.140
  • like, trying to figure out where he is on that scale
  • 00:25:09.150 --> 00:25:11.290
  • of, you know, "Am I check in?
  • 00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:13.170
  • Am I not checking in?"
  • 00:25:13.180 --> 00:25:15.230
  • yeah, just, him kind of being aware of that and--
  • 00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:18.280
  • but that really just meant a lot, you know, for him
  • 00:25:18.290 --> 00:25:21.040
  • to just say, "Hey, man, just, I'm sorry."
  • 00:25:21.050 --> 00:25:23.130
  • Mike: I think that I fall into the trap of wanting
  • 00:25:23.140 --> 00:25:26.110
  • everything to be nice and neat and be able to wrap it up
  • 00:25:26.120 --> 00:25:30.120
  • like a sitcom, like that kind of thing, but
  • 00:25:30.130 --> 00:25:32.250
  • real life is messy, you know?
  • 00:25:32.260 --> 00:25:36.020
  • And we don't know how to walk with each other through these
  • 00:25:36.030 --> 00:25:38.190
  • things that we're all going through, you know?
  • 00:25:38.200 --> 00:25:41.080
  • But I think there really is a grace for just being honest with
  • 00:25:41.090 --> 00:25:44.240
  • each other, and even though I might sometimes feel scared
  • 00:25:44.250 --> 00:25:47.140
  • to go approach B.B., I really need to go and say,
  • 00:25:47.150 --> 00:25:52.060
  • "Man, B.B., I'm in your corner.
  • 00:25:52.070 --> 00:25:54.050
  • I don't know what you're feeling, but I just want you
  • 00:25:54.060 --> 00:25:55.280
  • to know I'm here with you, you know?"
  • 00:25:55.290 --> 00:25:58.120
  • Mike: Hey, this is Mike from Big Daddy Weave, and we are
  • 00:25:58.130 --> 00:26:00.140
  • performing at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C., March 22
  • 00:26:00.150 --> 00:26:05.130
  • of 2020, and want you to join us.
  • 00:26:05.140 --> 00:26:08.140
  • You can enjoy the experience from the audience, or join us
  • 00:26:08.150 --> 00:26:11.160
  • on stage as part of the Kennedy Center Worship Choir.
  • 00:26:11.170 --> 00:26:15.090
  • Singers will enjoy a weekend of rehearsals and preparation for
  • 00:26:15.100 --> 00:26:18.090
  • the concert, while nonperforming friends and family will enjoy
  • 00:26:18.100 --> 00:26:21.290
  • an all-access pass to a behind-the-scenes experience.
  • 00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:25.260
  • Visit truenorthpresents.com/bdwdc,
  • 00:26:25.270 --> 00:26:30.080
  • for more info.
  • 00:26:30.090 --> 00:26:31.230
  • When the light comes, darkness runs away
  • 00:26:31.240 --> 00:26:36.270
  • and only what lives in the light can stay
  • 00:26:36.280 --> 00:26:41.160
  • When the light comes, nothing left to hide
  • 00:26:41.170 --> 00:26:46.280
  • so come out of the darkness and turn on the light
  • 00:26:46.290 --> 00:26:51.290
  • 00:26:54.070 --> 00:26:56.250